Tag Archives: Pete

By Your Powers Combined!

Today’s strip

What powers would ‘soggy superhero comics’ give? I don’t get it.

On Friday, commentator Erdmann made the guess: “Anyone else suspect there’s a comic book cover Sunday strip headed our way?”

To which Bobanero replied: “It would be the longest lead up to a Sunday Comic Book Cover strip in history.”

Kudos for both the prediction and the comment. Indeed this entire meandering, yet linear, arc over the past three months seems to have been building to this end.

And by ‘this end’ I mean Batiuk establishing some of his protagonists in a new comics related field so he can keep getting his precious commissioned covers whenever the mood strikes. He obviously had gotten all the Starbuck Jones covers he wanted, and is preparing to branch out.

Interesting that we don’t get a tip of the Funky Feltpen directly on the strip. The name on the bottom of the line art says Fairgood. Honestly interested in who drew this.

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Infinity Bore.

Today’s strip

So sorry for the late post today. Finally went to go see Infinity War, which despite juggling dozens of characters and plotlines, and having plotholes big enough to drive a Hulk truck through, was infinitely better than this because the emotions of individual characters were both believable and dynamic.

This is going for dynamic, since it can’t manage believable, but it falls right on its face at the climax. The worst comic character name since Matter Eater Lad.

My cat sometimes presents me with an inedible pulp on the rug…and it usually takes hours of elbow work to get the stink out.

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Tarps for everyone.

Today’s strip reminds me of a story I once heard.

There was an old farmer, set in his ways. His son went to college and came back with all kinds of new-fangled ways to ‘maximize profits.’ He no longer wanted to hear his dad’s old advice, about snakes on the road or frogs chirping, relying instead on science or innovation.

He upgraded all their equipment, used his smart phone to run their irrigation system, bought drones to guard the sheep from wolves instead of the old donkey. But most contentious between father and son was changing the way they handled the manure from their feedlot and pig sheds. The old farmer had always dry composted it for fertilizer, but his son badgered him to build huge wet lagoons covered in plastic tarps to collect all the methane to generate electricity.

Everything went fine. Until one May, it rained and rained and rained and rained, until the lagoons were full to the brim with a fecal slurry. It was on a May day, during the heart of tornado season that a dark funnel cloud formed south of their farm. Touching down over the hog buildings and their very new, very full lagoons, and then headed straight toward the farm house.

“Dad! Dad! We gotta get to the cellar!” The son shouted over the howling wind.

“I got one thing I have to do!” The dad shouted back, as he ran out to the stock barns.

The son followed him at a sprint. His dad grabbed an dusty oil cloth and threw it over the old guard donkey in it’s stall.

“Dad! What the hell are you doing!” His son yelled!

“Son.” the old farmer said, solemnly, “Every old farmer knows, when a shitstorm is coming, you gotta cover your ass.”

Now look at that pile of ‘comic-books’ and tell me that Rusty’s store, (and us by extension) didn’t just get overwhelmed by a massive shitstorm.

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Grood Zeb

Link to Today’s Comic.

I think that positivity is an important element of growth. No matter how bad something is, pointing out the good things hopefully gives a foundation for improvement. So, in that light, I am going to use The Sandwich Method, so named because the pieces of bread represent positive feedback/compliments while the meat of the sandwich (or innards if you’re vegetarian) represents constructive criticism.

Bottom slice. The art today is pretty good. The human actually looks human, with no bulbous nose or drooping eyes. The action is dynamic and the background is detailed.

Meat of Criticism: Once again….comics bagged and boarded are colored as if they’re in unmarked Manila envelopes instead of plastic. This makes it look like our protagonist has stayed late to sort his porn.

Top slice of compliments. By Batiukian standards, Rusty Staples isn’t the WORST name they could have come up with. I’ve known several men, (most older than 50) with the name Rusty. And it rolls off the tongue leaps and bounds better than Cliff Angere or Masone Jarre. It’s comics related without being something like, Varence Covar or Polly Bagg.

Olive and toothpick. I’ve been puzzling over the name of the store for hours. What could it be? GROOMED ZEBU? GROOVY ZEB’S? GROUP ZEBRA?

Ground Zero.

The comics shop name is Ground Zero.

I take it back. I take the bread back. There is only the wet slimy coldcuts of criticism here…because Ground Zero is the most offensive name for a shop since a Christmas outlet called Holly Costs No More.

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A Dam Failure.

Link to Today’s Comic.

On March 20 of this year Chester laid out the raison d’être for Atomik Komikkkkks: “I want the stories in Atomic Comics to be heroic and uplifting! And there will be no gratuitous deaths unless we are absolutely convinced it will help sales.”

So of course, Pete’s first idea is an origin story involving thousands killed in a catastrophic flash flood.

And Darin is so casual, leaning back, smiling. As if he’s begging Pete to write him like one of his French comics. “Je serai Milou si tu vas être Tintin.”

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Don’t Eat the ‘Magical’ ‘Pepperoni’.

Today’s strip is finally up.

“Waterlogged comics! Mixed with moldy discarded pizza toppings! And mildew! That’s our hero.”

Darin stares blankly at Pete.

“It emerges from the basement: a sentient mass in the vague shape of a man, but grotesque and lumpy. An abomination of pulped paper, and smeared three-color inks, held together by black mold and marinara.”

Darin doesn’t speak.

“But there’s this beautiful woman, see and she is entranced by his doughy nature, his strange charms. Even though they can’t be together in a traditional sense, she is willing to do anything, try anything, to feel in every cell of her being the deeper spiritual connection pulsing between the flawless woman and the eldritch Comicmuck Thing! All in a homage to Swamp Thing 34! You know, Alan Moore? Rite of Spring?

Darin reluctantly puts his pencil to paper… “Okay Pete, if you’re sure you’re okay with us using your love life that way.”

 

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Dry Drowning

Today’s strip is finally up.

I was desperately hoping that my return to the writer’s helm after months of this meandering nonsense would be the magical talisman to break this unending inanity. I was there when this plot started in February, and maybe now it could end.

No such luck. Pete is plodding along on his Cosmic Treadmill…using awful word association to come up with cut-rate characters. I’m sure that the Floodlight, or the Floodmaster, or Floody McFlooderson the World’s Wettest Woman, will be nothing more than a name, a costume, a gimmick, and an even worse arch nemesis with drought powers. No Batman or Captain America levels of backstory, built in angst, creeds, and psychological insight. Just a stupid idea, personified.

Floods of biblical proportions can’t drown shallow characters. They’re hollow and insubstantial rising to the top and clinging together in a choking mat of garbage.

Yes I am comparing TomBat’s idea of ‘comicbook characters’ with the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

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