Tag Archives: Pete

Make Like an Ape, Man

It’s my call and I have to tell you right now that covers with gorillas on them are total locks.

Tom Batiuk, 1/6/18

I doubt that today’s strip (or anything in Funky Winkerbean) accurately depicts the way comic books are produced in the real world…I mean, you come up with a “flagship title” after you’ve launched the company? I do think that what’s reflected here is Batiuk’s own creative process, wherein he paces the floor and muses out loud (or maybe TB’s got his own Cosmic Treadmill), before settling on some half-baked, flimsy premise, and then hollering “YESSSSSSSS!!!” so loudly as to attract the attention of passersby.

Speaking of comic books, guest author comicbookharriet serves up the snark for the next two weeks. Bon appetit!

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Safety Dance

Yet another tip of the ol’ SoSF fedora to billytheskink for reminding us yesterday that this kind of wacky circumstance is by no means unheard of in the Funkiverse. Of course, the strip Billy shared harkens back to the “gag-a-day” days. It’s one of Batiuk’s “early, funny ones.”  The decision to take the strip in a thought-provoking, sensitive, “reality-based” direction meant that he could no longer get away with this kind of zaniness. Unless he framed it as the work of 40-year-old sophomores Pete and Darin. Does Batiuk ever miss that old strip of his? You bet.

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Badly Drawn Bull

Rusty
September 10, 2018 at 7:00 am
Well, at least we know this week is going to be painful.

Looks like we’re in for a whole week of this “Sophomoric Sightings” bullshit. Today we learn that in four seasons of high school football, Bull Bushka amassed a record-setting total of forty-three yards. That’s not a per-game average, that’s his high school career total. It’s easy to see why college scouts were so interested. And this pathetic record of his held up for four decades.

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High School Madness

Yeah, th’ hell with having written for Marvel and DC, and having screenwritten a presumably successful Hollywood sci-fi epic and its sequel, and having been personally sought out to launch a new comics startup: what Pete really yearns for are those good old high school days.

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It’s Just the Wasted Years So Close Behind

Link to today’s strip.

So:  this makes a walloping four times a strip has been unavailable for preview during my latest hosting period.  That’s gotta be a record of some kind.

Of course, two of those times were Sundays, and Sunday’s strips are always unavailable for preview.  Because why should he give us time to point out the shortcomings practically leaping all over his work?

Over at Shankcraft, for example, Apple Annie is about to sign her first author:  Lillian.  But–

–didn’t Ann have Les as a client?  It seemed only a short eternity ago that Lillian was hosting Les’ launch party for his book about John Darling, who was murdered.  I thought the story was, Les, seeing as he and his book were both garbage, tossed his manuscript into the trash (where it belonged, and where it was happy*).  Ann, then a bag lady, fished it out (making it unhappy) and got it published (terrifying it), thus leading to the greatest display of egomania ever shown on the comics page.  Way to go, Ann.  Thanks (said all sarcastic-like).  But no, apparently continuity is for losers if you can score cheap points about schizophrenia.  It’s supposed to be touching, but it shoots right past maudlin and treacly and lands right in the middle of gorge-rising.

Why is it that Tom Batiuk is completely incapable of creating sympathetic characters?  Does he think, “Well, she’s got a terrible mental condition, readers will love her, because they won’t dare not!”?  Someday I’d like to ask him about his methods, and I don’t mean that as something nasty.  I’m honestly curious about how his mind works.

Anyway, based on what’s coming next week (trust me, it’s not a superpower anyone wants), I’m thinking Sunday will be a stand-alone strip.  I’m going to take stab and guess Funky’ll be in it.  But who knows?  All we can really say is that it will be uninteresting in every aspect.

And speaking of next week, my time in the chamber of horrors has come to an end, for now, so please give a warm welcome to your next host, snarker extraordinare Epicus Doomus!

*I have an idea about a children’s book, about a manuscript that knows it’s bad, and wants to be thrown away, but it keeps getting passed from hand to hand until it’s published.  It has a happy ending, in that no one buys it and the author never tries again.  Does anyone have Ann Apple’s phone number?

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The Third Entry is When the Quality Drops

Link to today’s strip.

Folks, you’re not going to believe this, but for the third time during this stint, the strip is unavailable for preview!   Now, don’t worry, don’t worry–everyone please, just remain calm.   Your entertainment will be guaranteed by the Department of Redundancy Department, and the Natural Guard.  Just proceed, calmly,  down to the ticket booth and ask for Principal Poop and he will cheerfully, and decidedly, refund the unused portion of the money you spent to attend tonight’s episode.   Because here at Son of Stuck Funky, it’s a fair for all, and no fare to anybody!

I know Tom Batiuk thinks highly of his own work–he’s always giving himself award nominations, after all–but he really treats this stuff like it’s rare jewels, unfit for unveiling before a crass and ignorant public (those people who–gah–prefer attempted entertainment to underthought polemic) until he absolutely has to display his wares.   I’m sure he washes his hands after clicking “Send.”

I put it to you that a person proud of the effort he put into his work wouldn’t hesitate to display it.   A person who, on the other hand, is ridden with cynicism and resentment, and puts the bare minimum of effort required in order to cash a check, would likely not draw attention to what he produces.  Not naming any names or anything.

And if I had to guess, I’d say we have more “words spoken” between Dullard and Peeved.  Because I ain’t gonna call it “witty dialogue” when it’s nothing like that.

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The New Post Office Arc!

Link to today’s strip.

Chuck Ayers is back doing the art, at least for this week, and his stuff is much better rendered than Buchett’s has been lately.  It’s still not what I would call good, but it at least looks like effort was put into it.

It’s amazing that Tom Batiuk has so much going on that he has to farm the artwork out to three different people, yet he can’t concoct an engaging storyline to save his life.  Take this one–so Dullard is off to the post office.  I remember one time someone went to the post office, and it blew up!  “USA!  USA!”  The last time Dullard went, though, he took weeks to open a letter.   I doubt we’ll get any explosions this time around.

These characters have the astonishing super-power of being totally boring at all times.  I’d rather see Funky at the gym.

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