Today’s strip is pretty inoffensive, as these things go. It might border on “nice” if we liked a single one of these characters.
Not sure why Funky and Holly look so surprised to see Morton playing the trombone. They know Morton is in this band. They know the band is playing at St. Spires. They walk into the Christmas Eve service hearing the strains of “Silent Night”. Put two and two together…
OK, sure, most of the churches I’m familiar with place both the choir and orchestra in front of the congregation rather than behind, but such a slight difference wouldn’t floor me like a character from the late They’ll Do It Every Time.
Maybe Funky has an excuse, he thinks churches are places to practice driving, but Holly has been depicted as at least a somewhat regular churchgoer.
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Today’s strip might not quite be at the “Somehow Palpatine returned”-level, but “Luckily, one of the residents at Bedside Manor overheard that the band was playing here at St. Spires” is certainly on the list of history’s worst narrative solutions via exposition.
I think Funky and Holly must have gotten turned around driving on those snowy roads. Judging by the looks of this lady waving sheet music at them, I’d say they shot clear past Centerville, through a multiverse portal, and straight into Whoville. Specifically, the Whoville from the live-action Grinch movie. Fitting for this strip, I suppose.
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Hey, do you remember that sketch on The Muppet Show where Florence Henderson played the teenage son of a Ronald Reagan Muppet? I sure don’t, and I’ve seen The Muppet Show episode with Florence Henderson, but apparently Funky does, if today’s strip is to be believed.
I certainly can’t blame Morton for wanting to avoid these two bores the way a teenage avoids his parents. Given that Funky and Holly are back in the car driving who knows where instead of talking with the authorities about locating Morton and about Bedside Manor’s gross negligence, I guess the feeling is mutual.
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OK, I was kidding yesterday about skeevy Morton becoming a December tradition, but today’s strip takes my meanderings seriously. Who is the audience for this? OK, Greg Evans I guess, but who else?
I cannot decide which is more egregious:
If you are one of the 17 folks who own a copy of Roses In December or just a really really big Crankshaft fan, you may recall another story where a nursing home lost track of one of its residents. That time the nursing home had an excuse, as Ralph Meckler had kidnapped his Alzheimer’s-stricken wife and took her to Sotheby’s in New York to see his collection of vintage movie posters auctioned off.
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Over the river And through the woods, to Morton's Nursing home we go Funky knows the way As he skids on through Copley In the driving snow
…..
But wait, he's not there?! As we learn in today's strip No, he's got a gig Kinda surprising That blonde has not mistaken Funky for Morton A front desk message? Who communicates like this? They're father and son! OK, to be fair This weirdness is typical For this comic strip If he has a gig Does that mean we won't have to Endure skeezy Mort? Morton the creepster Has become a Batiukverse Christmas tradition
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As twas ever thus, Sunday’s strip was not available for preview. I’m going to guess that we’ll get a reprise of the previous week, with Funky and Holly gasbagging about texts and/or Cory, but as a guess, it’s just that. The actual strip could be anything. Funky and Les jogging, comic book tribute, anything at all. Anything except good, of course.
Normally, I’d stay up long enough to add to the day’s analysis, but unlike Tom Batiuk, I have a real job that requires that I fulfill certain goals. Unlike Tom Batiuk, if I fail to fulfill these goals, I could get fired, which would not be beneficial to me, though I would assume it would cause Mr. Batiuk some amusement, and perhaps some satisfaction.
But until the time when he has control over my life, I will continue to deny that to him, and I’m off. See you folks on the funway, which is already in progress!
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In today’s strip, Dinkle learns that there are two kinds of people in the world, those that can magically eliminate their hearing loss by forgetting about it and those not named “Harry Dinkle”.
I very much like the final panel today, or rather, the implications of it. Not only did Dinkle’s high schoolers not listen to his direction, he apparently believes the full-grown adults in the Wally plot device community band don’t either. That makes three separate bands that don’t listen to him. I see a common denominator.
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“Trombone Morty” was
Original post title
for Today’s strip post
Already did a
Trombone Shorty pun Monday
Hate redundancy
There are fewer words
Than you might think that rhyme well
With the word “shorty”
Morton Winkerbean
On trombone reminds Dinkle
Of Wally, I guess
Earl Campbell is not
Impressed with Mort’s name, nor with
Director Dinkle
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Today’s strip reaches a level of trippy surrealism that even Heathcliffe’s current descent into nonsensicality cannot match for madness. Admittedly, I am not much of a Mötley Crüe fan, so perhaps Nikki Sixx and Mick Mars both attempting to play and chew on the same guitar is their MO. However, what the third Google Images result for “Mötley Crüe” is doing next to an image of Franklin Roosevelt (with his trademark cigarette holder photoshopped out) boring Funky’s dad and a couple other octogenarians is beyond me.
Also, it’s another Throwback Thursday!
Guess what TB was publishing on this very date back in 1983?
If you guessed essentially the same “Ha! band kids don’t practice!” shtick he was doing on Monday, you win one of several internets.
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Son of Stuck Funky 
