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I’ll Adeela In

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It’s Return Of Son Of Son Of Garbage Week as 2019 finally almost draws to a merciful close. In today’s dreary installment, Adeela takes a pizza order from one of those sub-cretinous comic book imbeciles up the stairs in that fetid reeking “store” of theirs and wonders why architects with degrees from the local community college don’t seem to be in high demand right now. She’s in the Westview pizza mafia now and you know their oath…”sauce in, sauce out”. It’s really easy to GET a job at Montoni’s, leaving that job is another matter entirely. Historically speaking, 90% of the time you end up on the can or in Bedside Manor, but the perks (free pizza, financial leverage over the local comic book concern) can’t be beat.

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I Know What You Ate Last, Summer

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Did Thomas T. BatBore just suddenly forget that Summer is twenty-five years old? If he wanted to do childish Summer gags he shouldn’t have skipped over her childhood. But he did and it’s way too f*cking late now. Whether it’s intentional (ha) or not, Summer is suddenly the biggest loser in the strip. Totally rudderless, sleeping til noon, shoveling candy into her face like some sort of dimwitted feral cave-dweller…Bull Bushka donated tens of thousands of dollars worth of physical therapy for THIS? He really DID die in vain.

Consider this: at one time Summer and Cory were at the forefront of the (then) new Act III generation. Summer was the twee goody-two-shoes with a side of grit and a hell of a jump shot, while Cory was the slacker sleazebag with the bad attitude and the haircut to match. Summer was going places, Cory was going to prison. But now, only (sigh) seven short years later, Cory is a ramrod-straight soon-to-be-wed decorated Army veteran with strong ties to both the comic book and pizza industries, while Summer is an immature lazy slob with immense student loan debt and a dad who keeps writing the same book about her dead mom over and over. It just goes to show you how little high school really matters, even in a comic strip where it means absolutely everything.

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