OK, I was kidding yesterday about skeevy Morton becoming a December tradition, but today’s strip takes my meanderings seriously. Who is the audience for this? OK, Greg Evans I guess, but who else?
I cannot decide which is more egregious:
If you are one of the 17 folks who own a copy of Roses In December or just a really really big Crankshaft fan, you may recall another story where a nursing home lost track of one of its residents. That time the nursing home had an excuse, as Ralph Meckler had kidnapped his Alzheimer’s-stricken wife and took her to Sotheby’s in New York to see his collection of vintage movie posters auctioned off.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
“So what do you think, Les?”
“I dunno. She definitely has the making out part down, but Lisa used to do this thing where she’d slide her cancer smock aside and put my hand on her…it’ll just be easier if I demonstrate on you, Cindy. After all, you did say you would have done me back in high school, right?”
Uh yeah, sure Tom. Maybe tomorrow Mason and Marianne could have some hot park bench sex, just to really get a feel for what Lisa was all about. This idiocy couldn’t possibly have any less to do with making the damn cancer movie, BatHam just wanted to get his sick jollies by beating up on Cindy for being such a vapid obnoxious little nit back in (SIGH) high school. The whole “Cindy is jealous of Mason’s co-star” thing was resolved all the way back in 2016, or at least it would have been if a freak gust of wind blew Marianne off the big H and ended this claptrappery once and for all. But there was no wind, Marianne climbed back down, presumably spent a few months in the booby hatch, then went on to become Hollywood’s number one (sigh) kissing expert. Yet another well-rounded and believable female character in the stable, right next to gems like Jessica, Linda, Adeela and (sigh) Summer.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
So apparently the script is already written, unless they’re just using the book, I guess. That “chemo playground” line is just so f*cking gross, but of course Pulitzer (nominee) Boy thinks it’s gold, thus the endless rehashing. And what more can you even say about Cindy’s deranged jealousy at this point? It was never funny and it grows less so each and every day.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
FIVE characters and an astounding EIGHT word balloons in a two-paneler…just imagine if he’d have filled those word balloons with some actual content. This story might have been going places! Unfortunately though, this is FW and things just don’t work like that around here. More words = even less action in the Funkyverse.
Cindy’s descent into one-note trope hell is complete, as she’s ALREADY sexually threatened and seething with white-hot jealousy over seeing her husband interacting with a co-worker he’s known for years. That was fast. A little subtlety might have been applicable here, you know, like an eyeroll or something. But again, things don’t work like that around here. Funky is the fat one, Wally is the jittery one, Lisa is the dead one, Bull is the dead one and Cindy is the implacably jealous and insecure one and that’s just they way it is.
It’s really stupid, though and more than slightly, uh, reductive, I guess. Mason sees Cindy cozying up to Les and doesn’t give a damn, Cindy sees Mason chatting with a co-star and she’s boiling with hateful fury within seconds. Sure, I admit it, I notice when there’s cleavage in the strip but next to the guy who writes this thing I’m like freaking Gloria Allred. He took the most traditionally “successful” character (male or female) in the strip and turned her into an insecure teenager, strictly for laughs. Attempted laughs, that is.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Son of Stuck Funky 
