Tag Archives: Bedside Manor

Sunday morning, praise the dawning

Link to today’s strip.

As twas ever thus, Sunday’s strip was not available for preview.   I’m going to guess that we’ll get a reprise of the previous week, with Funky and Holly gasbagging about texts and/or Cory, but as a guess, it’s just that.  The actual strip could be anything.  Funky and Les jogging, comic book tribute, anything at all.  Anything except good, of course.

Normally, I’d stay up long enough to add to the day’s analysis, but unlike Tom Batiuk, I have a real job that requires that I fulfill certain goals.  Unlike Tom Batiuk, if I fail to fulfill these goals, I could get fired, which would not be beneficial to me, though I would assume it would cause Mr. Batiuk some amusement, and perhaps some satisfaction.

But until the time when he has control over my life, I will continue to deny that to him, and I’m off.  See you folks on the funway, which is already in progress!

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Bore Ensemble

Link To Today’s Strip

Uh yes Funky, this was adequately covered in yesterday’s strip, but THANKS for re-establishing that for us. We wouldn’t want to forget a key plot point like that. So not only do they not know that Mort & company traveled to Memphis, they don’t even know that the despised Dinkle was the mastermind behind it all. I would imagine that Funky would be more amazed about his Alzheimer’s-afflicted dad’s incredible mastery of the trombone (and flawless mug-handling skills) than by hearing about that fool Dinkle, but who the hell knows. Funky does look a lot less fat today, I have to admit, which could be a very good or very, very, very bad thing in the Funkyverse. I’m just chalking it up to shitty artwork for now until the results of the biopsy come back.

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O Little Town Of Memphis

Link To Today’s Strip

Merry Christmas to our SoSF guest hosts and commenters! Without YOU it’s all just masturbation! Have a great holiday!!

Man, Funky sure is aging (even more) poorly…the New Guy added a solid ten to fifteen years to his already-decrepit character. Soon he’ll just be a skeleton…a big fat skeleton. Obviously it’s seems HIGHLY unlikely that his father went all the way to Memphis to record a CD without him knowing about it but by the standards of the Funkyverse it’s sort of believable. I mean just last week some guy bought “Lisa’s Trilogy” as a Xmas gift for his dead wife, so this seems rather innocuous in comparison.

“Greetings From Memphis”…wow what a shitty title, they only recorded in Memphis, they don’t live there. “Hits From The Oxygen Bottle”…”Over The Hills And Warfarin Away”…”Nights in White Pravastatin”…”(Let’s Get) Physical (Therapy)…”Stairlift To Heaven”…”Code Blue Christmas”…”Fractured Hippy Shake”…”Like A Rolling Kidney Stone”… “Stray Cataract Blues”…”The Grandkids Are Alright”…”(Do You Remember) AM Talk Radio”…”Every Assisted Breath You Take”…”Walker This Way”…”We (Medi)Care A Lot”…now THOSE are titles befitting the Bedside Manorisms. “Greetings From Memphis” will just confuse people, or it would if anyone actually cared.

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Totally Unaware One Moment, Rockin’ And Rollin’ The Next

Link To Today’s Strip

A not-altogether un-chuckle-worthy Sunday effort, although it’d be funnier if The Author hadn’t spent YEARS on depicting Mort as a total vegetable. What was the point of that long-forgotten, completely depressing and ultimately meaningless Alzheimer’s arc? Morty is one of the strip’s more likeable characters, he could have been indulging in this sort of wackiness all along but nope, he had to “address” yet another “serious issue” instead. Just like when Cory returned home as a totally upright paragon of virtue, these FW characters don’t even notice these incredible changes in their families and friends, preferring to wryly shrug and roll their eyes over these miraculous transformations.

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The Drill Bores

Link to today’s strip.

Here’s a song you’ve heard me sing too many times lately–well, here it is again.  Today’s strip was not available for preview.

I’m sure it’s more celebration of Dinkle, more childish wish-fulfillment, but maybe we’ll get Funky jogging or a comic book tribute.

No matter what, I can guarantee this:  it will be boring.

Batiuk seems unable to take any kind of criticism.  When I first started doing this, my idea was to be helpful; to point out why things didn’t work, how to make them work, which things did work, and so on.  But I’m guessing Batiuk doesn’t want to listen to anything but undiluted praise–the kind he got, I guess, for killing off Lisa.

So now he’s in a situation where the only people who read his strip…is us.  He’s bored everyone else away.  And since he hates criticism and refuses to change, he’s going to defeat us in the only route left to him:  to refuse to have anything of substance.  If there’s no meat, no one can complain about the cooking.  Look at November–aside from treating a character (from a different strip!) cruelly, it was all about raising money.  Watching people offer to sell things without actually showing an exchange.  The upcoming trip to Memphis promises to be at least as dull, if not quite so predatory.  It’s the way the drill always works out–you think, “Say, this might be promising” and it never is.

It seems like a heck of a way to run a hamburger stand, but then he’s the one pumping this garbage out.

And with that, I am outta here.  Stay tuned tomorrow when the fantastical David O returns to entertain you.  In this strip, he’ll be the only one who does.

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The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore

Link to today’s strip.

I hope none of you are fans of the blues or rockabilly, because you’re about to watch the things you enjoy become tainted with Harry Dinkle, and you’ll never get any pleasure from them again.  I’m guessing Batiuk took a vacation to Memphis recently, and we’re all going to pay.

I don’t know what kind of a monster that is in panel one, but it appears to be wearing Mort Winkerbean’s skin.  What godawful drawing–Burchett should be ashamed.  Contrast that with Dinkle’s face in panel two–he gets the full “handsome” treatment, as well as a little action whip-around.

By slicing out a quarter of Mort’s face–

–he actually looks like a person.  I’d like to think that Burchett drew him more like this, and Batiuk said “Damn it, Burchett, how dare you draw any character other than Les, Dinkle and Lisa as a normal human being!!   I want all those sons-o-bitches looking like a non-human monster!  Just like all the women should be fat and frowsy with Muppet faces!!! Do you like getting paid?!  Cut it up and do it over!!”

What a loathsome thing Dinkle is–as I’ve said way too many times, of all the cast in this miserable comic, Dinkle is the one I hate the most.  He always triumphs, he’s always praised, and always beloved.  He’s one of the reasons this strip will never be noteworthy.

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Making It Funnier

Link to today’s strip.

I bet you thought I made a major mistake yesterday, in making a “Friday” joke about Thursday’s strip.  Well, after experiencing a series of unfortunate events yesterday (I’ll just hint with a number: $609.00) I’ll admit I was a bit rattled and might have been convinced it was already Thursday, since my brain function was off-line.   And I made a joke about an unavailable strip.

(Today’s strip is also unavailable, by the way.)

But then I got to thinking – what would Tom Batiuk say if someone asked about his lapses in continuity?  You know, the fate of Becky’s mother, Marianne Winters-hot star or naive waif, etc etc etc.  There are a lot of them.  Or how about his lack of jokes?  You know, the funny part of a comic strip.

And I’ve come up with a Batiukian Excuse.  See, the reason that continuity is non-existent and the jokes have moved to a better neighborhood is that it makes the strip more interactive with the reader.  When the reader can supply continuity, it stimulates his imagination and makes him a part of the creative process, thus making him more involved with the strip.  Similarly with the jokes–when the reader can make up his own, he’s invested in the success of the strip.   It all makes perfect sense.

So, for me posting a Friday joke on a Thursday, it “jolts” the humor, it makes it more interactive and creative.  Making it funnier.

Or, I could have just been a dumb-head.  It won’t have been the first time.

PS: Has anyone noted that the last two weeks were all about band funding?  And the week before that was the Lisa auction?  Then we had Phil getting fired.  But the week before that was the Les Book Tour.  This strip is nothing but hucksterism non-stop.

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