His insurance company? “Hello, I recently had to spend over $48 on buying back some radioactive isotopes I accidentally mailed to a bunch of strangers without their knowledge. Does my policy cover that? There’s no need for that language, ma’am”.
And this “buy back”??? How’d THAT go? Everyone just readily agreed to sell their rings back to Chester no questions asked? Sure, Tom, sure.
“Uh, hello, JoeTheSoSFSnarker? I’m Mr. Doomus with SoSF. How are you today? Good, good. Listen, remember that free Les Moore cocoa mug we sent to our most loyal snarkers a few days back?”
“Yeah, it’s out on my deck. It repels insects for some reason. I should have killed you and your entire family for sending me that thing, you jerk. What of it?”
“Well I kinda sorta need it back, like really bad.”
“Oh, do ya? Why exactly? Oh look, it says right here that the paint on that mug is a lethal carcinogen! I’m suing you!”
“Sigh.”
Premise 5x + one line resolution + weak wordplay wrap-up = another week crossed off the calendar. It wasn’t really that bad of a premise but, as usual, it was just completely squandered. I wonder how long he’s been waiting to zip that “umbrella policy” gag in there? Bet you he’s used it before, too.
