So John Byrne and his annoying angular faces are back for the homestretch, eh? Well, you can put lipstick on a pig and so forth, but yadda yadda yadda get the f*ck out of here with this shit. He came up with a strip-ending premise…”Summer writes a history of Westview”…and THIS is where he ends up, in some distant futuristic future full of “solar scooters” and young women in 1960s go-go attire. Everything that happened up to this point? Completely meaningless. This is the culmination of decades of furious Batiuksturbation, right here. Ugh, I just made myself sick. Continue reading
Tag Archives: muppet profile
by Epicus Doomus | December 25, 2022 · 10:30 pm
Memories Of Tomorrow
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as birthday, hatchet face, John Byrne, muppet profile, poorly-drawn rocketships, present, soft drinks, the future, WTF
by billytheskink | November 16, 2022 · 10:30 pm
What’s in your head, in your head? Ruby, Ruby, Ruby-y-y-y
I’d argue that today’s strip is the product of an AI tasked with generating images for the word “wistful”… but that’s an insult to artificial intelligence and I don’t want to be responsible for unleashing Skynet. This is just completely sad, but in the stupidest way.
Mindy is the one that really punches up the stupidity here. First, “when” Ruby retires is essentially right now, it doesn’t need to be discussed as if it is well in the future. Second, Mindy also draws a paycheck from Atomik Komix… so does she dramatically underestimate the financial resources it takes to travel extensively or does Chester really pay that well?
And if Chester pays that well, why can’t he spend some money on an office that doesn’t look like a dungeon crawl game being played on a vintage grayscale Macintosh? Maybe everything in the office is made of stone. So that’s why they called him “Chester the Chiseler”!
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as arcs where nothing happens, Atomik Komix, Batton, Batton Thomas, boredom personified, Chester, Chester's 'intrigued' face, comic books, comics, comma eyes, curmudgeonly oldsters, disembodied hand, Dreadfully unimaginable scenarios, enraging hair strands, eyelids, gradient voids, gray ashen landscape, hatchet face, labored setup, lack of imagination run amok, Mindy, muppet profile, Old dying people, pen, pencil, pens, retirement, Ruby, Ruby Lith, seldom-seen characters wearing hats, silhouette, silhouettes, tags you never thought you'd use, travelin, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, unnatural hand gestures, wistfulness
by billytheskink | November 14, 2022 · 10:30 pm
Pencil droppers, eh?!
Wait, is today’s strip taking place on the exact same day that Ruby drew Sunday’s Scorch cover?! Ruby drew a whole cover in a matter of hours?! Maybe that’s not at all surprising for a real life comic cover artist at a real life comic book company, but at Atomik Komix it sure is. These folks make “Turtle Thompson” look like AJ Foyt.
I mean, Batton is still there treadmilling and everyone is wearing the exact same things they were wearing in last week’s strips, give or take some colorist’s liberty… ok, scratch that, Mindy is wearing a skirt in today’s strip and clearly has on pants in last Saturday’s strip. Different day, I guess. In either scenario, though, we’re left to note how ridiculous it is that Batton spends so much time in the Atomik Komix bullpen. He, ostensibly, has a job drawing a comic strip, but we’ve never seen him do it. Heck, we’ve never even seen the strip-within-a-strip… and it’s not like Funky Winkerbean is above that kind of thing. He likes comic books and frequents Komix Korner from time-to-time (SUCH a unique trait in the Batiukverse, I know), but he doesn’t appear to be a regular there like he is here at the Atomik Komix bullpen. He likes or feels obligated to jog. And that’s it. That is everything we know about the guy. I don’t necessarily care to know more, but if TB insists on having his author avatar hang around places where it makes no obvious sense for him to hang around then Batton needs some purpose and motivation.
Oh yeah, also… Ruby is old, water is wet, and Chester now wears the look of someone clinically depressed.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as Atomik Komix, author avatar, Batton, Batton Thomas, boredom personified, bullpen, Chester, comic books, comics, curmudgeonly oldsters, Darin, depression, disembodied hand, drafting table, eyelids, Flash, Flash Fairfield, Flash Freeman, Flash treadmill, glasses, gray ashen landscape, hatchet face, jaunty scarves, labored setup, merry-go-round, mind-numbing tedium, Mindy, Minty Pete, Mopey Pete, muppet profile, oddly muted squiggly lines, Old dying people, pencil, pencil necked geeks, pencil-neck geek, Pete, Phil, Phil Holt, possibly Battom Thomas, retirement, Ruby, Ruby Lith, sad-sackery, scarf, seldom-seen characters wearing hats, slowly dying inside, squiggly "L"s, squiggly lines, squiggly lines used to denote texture, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, tile, unnatural hand gestures
by billytheskink | August 10, 2022 · 10:30 pm
Burning Man
One bad turn deserves another, I suppose. Today’s strip sees Les take his revenge on Funky for two strips’ worth of Crankshaft schtick with some ‘Shaft-level quote muddle-ment of his own. Where did you pull this piece of unwisdom from, Les, I Chong?
The master says: Piles of excrement comes out of both ends of Les, but only one pile can can be flushed.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as bearded dick with ears, chair jammed in a diving board ladder, curmudgeonly oldsters, dismal world view, Fire, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, general dickishness, hatchet face, headband, Inappropriate quotes, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' back is turned take the shot take the shot, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, morbidity, muppet profile, Now Funky, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, pickleball, sport, sports, swimming, Tennis, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, trees, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, useless old junk
by TFHackett | August 5, 2022 · 10:30 pm
So You Can Take that Cookie
William Thompson
August 4, 2022 at 11:12 pm
I’m morbidly curious as to how Funky can get even more childish…
Even more embarrassing than childish: Funky’s coming off as an thrifty old pensioner. One could expect Ed Crankshaft or Funky’s dad Mort to make such a chintzy request. But we know Funky to be a man of sufficient means to buy all the stale cookies he wants. I suspect that Batiuk is channeling a line from his hero Woody Allen: “Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.” “Yeah, I know; and such small portions.”
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as coffee, facepalm, Funky, hair horn, Holly, insufferable assholes, muppet profile, projector, quarter inch pinch, the raptor claw in Holly's hair
Son of Stuck Funky 
