Tag Archives: soft drinks

Memories Of Tomorrow


So John Byrne and his annoying angular faces are back for the homestretch, eh? Well, you can put lipstick on a pig and so forth, but yadda yadda yadda get the f*ck out of here with this shit. He came up with a strip-ending premise…”Summer writes a history of Westview”…and THIS is where he ends up, in some distant futuristic future full of “solar scooters” and young women in 1960s go-go attire. Everything that happened up to this point? Completely meaningless. This is the culmination of decades of furious Batiuksturbation, right here. Ugh, I just made myself sick. Continue reading


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

R.I.P., Funkman

So ends the epic OMEA 2021 Signfest (I hope). This is an awkward strip. I guess the first two panels are designed to be redundant in case the newspaper cuts them off, but having Harry ask if Funky is nervous about the surgery (and naming the type of surgery again) right after he’s told Funky isn’t looking forward to it is just awkward. Fear of death as a punchline is also awkward but totally normal for this strip. It’s funny how whenever something bad happens to Les or Lisa it’s portrayed as high tragedy, but with Funky it’s always for a lame joke or making fun of him.
Funky giving away all of his clothes is funny to me, only because I assume his wardrobe is 99% Montoni’s t-shirts and aprons.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Just To Be The Man Who Walks A Thousand Miles To Maybe Get Around To Returning Your Call

Link To Another One

So, Pete’s struggling with his long distance relationship, mainly because he refuses to grow up and put a little effort into communicating with the great love of his life, Mindy. Just like his dear old pal Boy Lisa, Pete’s “girlfriend” is an afterthought, someone he’ll get around to eventually, probably. She’ll no doubt make a fine doormat when he finally allows her to marry him in some heinous comic book-centric ceremony, perhaps they’ll even have a seldom-seen comic book-themed named child or two.

Apparently the gag here is that Pete is a perpetual man-child, notorious slacker and lazy slob, which of course you already know, as Pete has been so thoroughly fleshed-out and developed over the years to a point where he’s a familiar old friend, like Klabinchnik or Mallory or Morty. A comics page icon, if you will. Armed with this wealth of Pete knowledge, you immediately laugh along with Boy Lisa at his good friend’s weary-eyed foibles. The work of a true master craftsman who’d never taint his work with some hoary old sitcom-style trope for a cheap chuckle.

BlehTom’s bro-banter is just as bad as his chick-banter is, especially when these two dolts are doing the bantering. Either move back to Ohio and marry Mindy in that goddamned gazebo or don’t, enough with the pathetic waffling and the godlessly plodding banter already. Pete’s discussing the woman he’s supposedly crazy about and he looks for all the world like he’s discussing his inflamed prostate and subsequent urinary issues there in panel two. This nonsense would be boring even if you did happen to be into hypothetical “old school” comic book companies and idiotic comic strip crossover long distance relationships, assuming such a person exists which they obviously do not.

I suppose I should mention Rachel but honestly, why? She works at Montoni’s, she lives above Montoni’s, life is already snarking on her as it is. Why pile on?



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky