While most of the now-reassembled idiocy of Winkerbeans mopes at a Pete-level in today’s strip, Holly is taking charge! How, exactly, she expects a photo of Act II Funky with the mayor of Centerville to help Adeela remains to be seen…
Before we get into the explanation for this bit of Batiukverse history, let’s take a minute to appreciate the magnificent uselessness of Amicus Breef, who today is repeating the exact same legal vernacular he spit out two days ago… like a 14 year old who just learned the phrase “subpoena evidence” and keeps saying it because he thinks it makes him sound smart. It has been some time since TB introduced such a remarkably incompetent character, which is saying something.
OK, now for the tale of the time Funky and his mullet met President Bill Clinton. It was the summer of 1993 and the Westview school district was facing its latest challenge in getting voters to approve yet another school levy (or “tax issue” as Fred and Nate referred to this one). Dinkle decided the best way to drum up support was to get the recently elected President Clinton to appear at a rally headlined by his WHS band. Being a well-known former band geek, the President actually showed up, endured the band’s performance, and finished things off by playing a saxophone duet with Dinkle. On his way out of town, President Clinton demanded pizza and Dinkle recommended Montoni’s. Thus:
Dinkle also gave the President a gift for showing up at the rally… *sigh* It was a box of comic books, of course.
After spending more than a month on this insipid story arc and these irritating characters, today’s strip offers some much welcome relief… I’m speaking, of course, of the Green Pitcher, far and away the best character in Act III Funky Winkerbean (and probably Acts I and II as well, to be frank). By the way… hello there, I’m billytheskink and I’m… uh, I guess I’m going to talk about the Winkerbeans as they talk about Adeela.
FASCINATING! (In my best Merv Griffin voice)
More interesting than Funky’s understandable concern for his restaurant’s assets or the icy glares of his family members is his continuing transformation into Gasoline Alley mainstay Slim in both attitude and appearance. Less interesting, of course, is Wally’s inability to use his phone to tell Funky that Adeela’s arrest had to do with her (mistaken) immigration status.
Link To Today’s (zzzzzzzz)
Like I often say, this Pulitzer (nominee) Boy guy really, REALLY needs to get out more. While it’s nice to see
Rachel the green pitcher again, this is a weak, weak gag, even by FW standards. I mean sure, it’s the second weekend of January 2018 and the 2019 strips are finished and ready to go into the prepaid CK envelope but he’s still a few strips short and has to come up with something fast or the whole weekend will be ruined so he throws together a few slapdash strips on the fly. I get that, but still, at least pretending to try would be the polite and decent thing to do for the readers, CK and himself…or so you’d think if you knew nothing about FW and the guy who writes it. But alas, I do. Every minute spent on FW is another minute he can’t spend at that pizza place, the post office signing books or looking out the window and as Lisa showed us, life is short.
Montoni’s is busy in today’s strip! What? And Holly is flustered to the max and jealous of unhealthily self-conscious Cindy all the sudden*? Crazy!
Speaking of Crazy, his advice… isn’t ironic? I don’t know, actually, but I do know it’s been relevant to TB for decades. If only TB would take it one day.
Wait, Montoni’s is busy with regular FW cast members. Sheesh, this strip doesn’t even truly earn its “the rare Montoni’s customer” tag. This, THIS level of business has Holly frazzled and exhausted? She is as cut out for food service as Funky is for giving out marriage advice.
* Holly being self-conscious about her body hasn’t happened in a while, but to be fair, it actually isn’t new. It even goes back to when she was the other shoe.
Thanks for putting up with me and my blue tongue for the past two weeks. Thoughts and prayers for our next blogger…
Link To Today’s Strip
Holy shit on a shingle, it’s Tony! It’s been YEARS since he’s made an appearance. Ditto the infamous green pitcher. Tony is off to Florida for the winter, as indicated by his staggeringly gaudy retiree shirt, commonly used to establish retirement among adorable old coots. Which begs the question: why does he keep coming back to Ohio if he’s retired? I don’t know but, as I pointed out yesterday, at least it doesn’t involve Les or comic books, so the fact that this conversation makes almost no sense at all is largely irrelevant. Dare I say that as a longtime FW reader I’m actually almost enjoying this daily parade of long neglected characters, as I think everyone’s had their fill of Atomik Komix for the next few decades.
April 15, 2016 at 7:51 am
Characters just seem to vanish without a trace in this arc. First Jessica disappears after the movie, and now Cindy and Mason seem to have ditched the Dorknamic Duo in Westview on their way back to California.
Jessica’s whereabouts are still unknown, but today Darin, Pete, and Funky are replaced by Mason and Cindy (or “MaCin” as they must be know in the tabloids) and Holly at Montoni’s counter. Mason the actor bemoans how fickle Hollywood’s rejection can result in “the actor’s story” ending in obscurity and despair; probably not wise to bring this up with his fiance sitting right next to him.
Anyway it’s been a fun few weeks celebrating this blog’s sixth anniversary! Thanks to each and every one of you for reading and commenting and being such a wonderful online community. SoSFDavidO jumps into the driver’s seat tomorrow!
Wow, greasy, fattening pizza (which Funky undoubtedly donated) and flat Montoni’s root beer for all! Thanks Jessica! You really know how to show gratitude in today’s strip! You’d think from the look on Jessica’s face she’d just gotten them all tickets to Disneyland. The look on Cayla and Keisha’s faces say it all; please God, not another slice of Westview’s worst and only pizza.
Today’s “comic” strip was not available for preview.
Ew, Cindy, get a towel! No one reading today’s strip saw you walk in from the rain so it looks like you’re sweating like a racehorse while heaving your chest and panting at Funky. It’s not a good look for you. It’s not a good look for anyone. And with Funky’s stupid answer that would have me back out the door and into the snowy–err, rainy generic Westview day.
Hey SoSFers, billytheskink here for my second tour of duty. Please bear with my pointless observations and references that usually only I find amusing and continue your excellent snark and discussion in the comments.
So much, and yet, ultimately, so little is going on in today’s strip.
Let us start with the so little, for those whose memories were fried by the back-to-batiuk Dick Tracy and Crankshaft crossovers, this is the auspicious beginning of the interview with Mason that Les arranged for Cindy. Today they are introduced… and that’s it. Mason is remarkable cheerful bout meeting Cindy, considering that this interview basically is happening because of the silent threat that Cindy might reveal Mason’s presence in Westview on the Cleveland evening (Clevening?) news. Funky’s comment is perhaps supposed to give us the idea that Mason’s cheer has to do with Cindy’s looks, but considering that she does not move an inch between the panels I think it is just as likely that TB accidentally put a space between “in” and “action”.
On to the so much…
– This is probably the first time in 30 years that a man
kissing a woman’s hand wearing a Members Only jacket has been called “charming”.
– I just now noticed that the Montoni’s man on Funky’s apron is really just a dismembered head and hands.
– Cindy is pulling off the difficult one-handed awkward turtle in panel 2.
– She is also remarkably calm having her hand so close to Mason’s face. Look at thing, you could cut a roast on it.
– The green pitcher is always a welcome sight amidst the general schmuckery that occurs at Montoni’s.