So ends the epic OMEA 2021 Signfest (I hope). This is an awkward strip. I guess the first two panels are designed to be redundant in case the newspaper cuts them off, but having Harry ask if Funky is nervous about the surgery (and naming the type of surgery again) right after he’s told Funky isn’t looking forward to it is just awkward. Fear of death as a punchline is also awkward but totally normal for this strip. It’s funny how whenever something bad happens to Les or Lisa it’s portrayed as high tragedy, but with Funky it’s always for a lame joke or making fun of him.
Funky giving away all of his clothes is funny to me, only because I assume his wardrobe is 99% Montoni’s t-shirts and aprons.
Tag Archives: green pitcher
R.I.P., Funkman
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Pizza, Actually
Or it might be when you give your oldest childhood friend your treasured copy of “Contrivance Man Vs. The Zanthian Blorks” # 1 so he he can complete his collection even though you could have easily gotten $125 for it on FleaBay. It depends on where you are in Westview at the time. Unless these are characters I am unaware of, this is an extremely rare example of BatYam devoting an entire Sunday strip to random anon-o characters, which doesn’t happen a lot in the Funkyverse. Ditto actual customers in Montoni’s. That certainly doesn’t happen every day either.
I assume that maybe this is an homage to something, maybe those old “Peanuts” strips or something. And it’s harmless enough, I suppose. I guess sometimes FW is just plain deeply weird as opposed to deeply weird and highly annoying like it usually is.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is
While most of the now-reassembled idiocy of Winkerbeans mopes at a Pete-level in today’s strip, Holly is taking charge! How, exactly, she expects a photo of Act II Funky with the mayor of Centerville to help Adeela remains to be seen…
Before we get into the explanation for this bit of Batiukverse history, let’s take a minute to appreciate the magnificent uselessness of Amicus Breef, who today is repeating the exact same legal vernacular he spit out two days ago… like a 14 year old who just learned the phrase “subpoena evidence” and keeps saying it because he thinks it makes him sound smart. It has been some time since TB introduced such a remarkably incompetent character, which is saying something.
OK, now for the tale of the time Funky and his mullet met President Bill Clinton. It was the summer of 1993 and the Westview school district was facing its latest challenge in getting voters to approve yet another school levy (or “tax issue” as Fred and Nate referred to this one). Dinkle decided the best way to drum up support was to get the recently elected President Clinton to appear at a rally headlined by his WHS band. Being a well-known former band geek, the President actually showed up, endured the band’s performance, and finished things off by playing a saxophone duet with Dinkle. On his way out of town, President Clinton demanded pizza and Dinkle recommended Montoni’s. Thus:
Dinkle also gave the President a gift for showing up at the rally… *sigh* It was a box of comic books, of course.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Dude, where’s my car?!
After spending more than a month on this insipid story arc and these irritating characters, today’s strip offers some much welcome relief… I’m speaking, of course, of the Green Pitcher, far and away the best character in Act III Funky Winkerbean (and probably Acts I and II as well, to be frank). By the way… hello there, I’m billytheskink and I’m… uh, I guess I’m going to talk about the Winkerbeans as they talk about Adeela.
FASCINATING! (In my best Merv Griffin voice)
More interesting than Funky’s understandable concern for his restaurant’s assets or the icy glares of his family members is his continuing transformation into Gasoline Alley mainstay Slim in both attitude and appearance. Less interesting, of course, is Wally’s inability to use his phone to tell Funky that Adeela’s arrest had to do with her (mistaken) immigration status.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Confirmation Pie-as
Like I often say, this Pulitzer (nominee) Boy guy really, REALLY needs to get out more. While it’s nice to see Rachel the green pitcher again, this is a weak, weak gag, even by FW standards. I mean sure, it’s the second weekend of January 2018 and the 2019 strips are finished and ready to go into the prepaid CK envelope but he’s still a few strips short and has to come up with something fast or the whole weekend will be ruined so he throws together a few slapdash strips on the fly. I get that, but still, at least pretending to try would be the polite and decent thing to do for the readers, CK and himself…or so you’d think if you knew nothing about FW and the guy who writes it. But alas, I do. Every minute spent on FW is another minute he can’t spend at that pizza place, the post office signing books or looking out the window and as Lisa showed us, life is short.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Good advice that you just didn’t take
Montoni’s is busy in today’s strip! What? And Holly is flustered to the max and jealous of unhealthily self-conscious Cindy all the sudden*? Crazy!
Speaking of Crazy, his advice… isn’t ironic? I don’t know, actually, but I do know it’s been relevant to TB for decades. If only TB would take it one day.
Wait, Montoni’s is busy with regular FW cast members. Sheesh, this strip doesn’t even truly earn its “the rare Montoni’s customer” tag. This, THIS level of business has Holly frazzled and exhausted? She is as cut out for food service as Funky is for giving out marriage advice.
* Holly being self-conscious about her body hasn’t happened in a while, but to be fair, it actually isn’t new. It even goes back to when she was the other shoe.
Thanks for putting up with me and my blue tongue for the past two weeks. Thoughts and prayers for our next blogger…
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Cavalcade Of The Forgotten
Holy shit on a shingle, it’s Tony! It’s been YEARS since he’s made an appearance. Ditto the infamous green pitcher. Tony is off to Florida for the winter, as indicated by his staggeringly gaudy retiree shirt, commonly used to establish retirement among adorable old coots. Which begs the question: why does he keep coming back to Ohio if he’s retired? I don’t know but, as I pointed out yesterday, at least it doesn’t involve Les or comic books, so the fact that this conversation makes almost no sense at all is largely irrelevant. Dare I say that as a longtime FW reader I’m actually almost enjoying this daily parade of long neglected characters, as I think everyone’s had their fill of Atomik Komix for the next few decades.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Sunset Blowhard
HeyItsDave
April 15, 2016 at 7:51 am
Characters just seem to vanish without a trace in this arc. First Jessica disappears after the movie, and now Cindy and Mason seem to have ditched the Dorknamic Duo in Westview on their way back to California.
Jessica’s whereabouts are still unknown, but today Darin, Pete, and Funky are replaced by Mason and Cindy (or “MaCin” as they must be know in the tabloids) and Holly at Montoni’s counter. Mason the actor bemoans how fickle Hollywood’s rejection can result in “the actor’s story” ending in obscurity and despair; probably not wise to bring this up with his fiance sitting right next to him.
Anyway it’s been a fun few weeks celebrating this blog’s sixth anniversary! Thanks to each and every one of you for reading and commenting and being such a wonderful online community. SoSFDavidO jumps into the driver’s seat tomorrow!
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Pizza My Mind
Wow, greasy, fattening pizza (which Funky undoubtedly donated) and flat Montoni’s root beer for all! Thanks Jessica! You really know how to show gratitude in today’s strip! You’d think from the look on Jessica’s face she’d just gotten them all tickets to Disneyland. The look on Cayla and Keisha’s faces say it all; please God, not another slice of Westview’s worst and only pizza.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Son of Stuck Funky 
Special Dumblivery
The panel borders of today’s strip are just holding it, just enough to keep it from —
It burst into the frame! Get out of the way! Get out of the way!
Get this Funky! Get this Funky! It’s boring and it’s crashing! It’s crashing terrible! Oh my, get out of the way please. It’s boring, bursting into the frame and it’s — and it’s falling on the boring cast and all the folks agree that this is terrible. This is one of the worst catastrophes in the world.
And oh, it’s…boring, oh, four or five segments into the strip. It’s a terrific crash, ladies and gentlemen. The smirks and the lameness now and the text is crashing into the foreheads, not quite to the boring cast. Oh, the humanity and all the characters smirking around here. I told you. It’s — I can’t even type to the readers whose snark we host here. It – It’s….I — I can’t type ladies and gentlemen.
Honest, it’s completely a mass of smirking dreck. And everybody can’t hardly read it. It’s hard, it’s crazy. Folks, I — I — I’m sorry. Honestly, I — I can hardly read it.
I — I’m gonna step away where I cannot see it. Funky, that’s terrible. I – I can’t….Listen folks, I — I’m gonna have to stop for a minute because I’ve lost my head. This is the worst thing I’ve ever witnessed.
With sincerest apologies to Herb Morrison and humanity… and Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin (who TB should also apologize to).
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Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as Adeela, airplanes, Amicus Breef, An idiocy of Winkerbeans, boredom personified, delivery people, deportation, enraging hair strands, excessive word ballooning, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, green pitcher, half-assed political commentary, Holly, how things are NEVER done, immigration, Montoni's, Montoni's logo, multiple Montoni's logos, not how the world works, pizza, pizza delivery, President Clinton, Rachel, Ridiculous Contrivances, sheer idiocy, smirk, stupid, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, unnatural hand gestures, Wally, weird noses, word zeppelins