After spending more than a month on this insipid story arc and these irritating characters, today’s strip offers some much welcome relief… I’m speaking, of course, of the Green Pitcher, far and away the best character in Act III Funky Winkerbean (and probably Acts I and II as well, to be frank). By the way… hello there, I’m billytheskink and I’m… uh, I guess I’m going to talk about the Winkerbeans as they talk about Adeela.
FASCINATING! (In my best Merv Griffin voice)
More interesting than Funky’s understandable concern for his restaurant’s assets or the icy glares of his family members is his continuing transformation into Gasoline Alley mainstay Slim in both attitude and appearance. Less interesting, of course, is Wally’s inability to use his phone to tell Funky that Adeela’s arrest had to do with her (mistaken) immigration status.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Special Dumblivery
The panel borders of today’s strip are just holding it, just enough to keep it from —
It burst into the frame! Get out of the way! Get out of the way!
Get this Funky! Get this Funky! It’s boring and it’s crashing! It’s crashing terrible! Oh my, get out of the way please. It’s boring, bursting into the frame and it’s — and it’s falling on the boring cast and all the folks agree that this is terrible. This is one of the worst catastrophes in the world.
And oh, it’s…boring, oh, four or five segments into the strip. It’s a terrific crash, ladies and gentlemen. The smirks and the lameness now and the text is crashing into the foreheads, not quite to the boring cast. Oh, the humanity and all the characters smirking around here. I told you. It’s — I can’t even type to the readers whose snark we host here. It – It’s….I — I can’t type ladies and gentlemen.
Honest, it’s completely a mass of smirking dreck. And everybody can’t hardly read it. It’s hard, it’s crazy. Folks, I — I — I’m sorry. Honestly, I — I can hardly read it.
I — I’m gonna step away where I cannot see it. Funky, that’s terrible. I – I can’t….Listen folks, I — I’m gonna have to stop for a minute because I’ve lost my head. This is the worst thing I’ve ever witnessed.
With sincerest apologies to Herb Morrison and humanity… and Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin (who TB should also apologize to).
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Tagged as Adeela, airplanes, Amicus Breef, An idiocy of Winkerbeans, boredom personified, delivery people, deportation, enraging hair strands, excessive word ballooning, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, green pitcher, half-assed political commentary, Holly, how things are NEVER done, immigration, Montoni's, Montoni's logo, multiple Montoni's logos, not how the world works, pizza, pizza delivery, President Clinton, Rachel, Ridiculous Contrivances, sheer idiocy, smirk, stupid, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, unnatural hand gestures, Wally, weird noses, word zeppelins