Tag Archives: sad-sackery

by billytheskink | May 28, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Stropp me if you’ve heard this one before

Today’s strip recalls one of the very last things that ever appeared in Act I… and uses it to mourn the death of print media? Look, I dunno what’s going on in the last panel, but I can tell you what happened in flashback panels.

After bumming everyone out with his awful valedictorian speech, Les just… hung out in the auditorium until everyone left, sulking in the unfulfillment of getting a high school diploma.

^{This would have been a perfect time for “Mooch” Myers to burn the school down.}

Then he headed out to the “Student Council Graduation Party” in the middle school gym, as seen in today’s flashback, finding the place deserted aside from Coach Stropp.

^{Be glad Les doesn’t narrate his life any more.}

Why was the Student Council Graduation Party a dumb idea? Why was the party deserted?

^{You couldn’t draw Coach Stropp’s resplendent jacket in today’s flashback, Ayers? For shame…}

Yep, Cindy held a huge graduation party at the mall that everybody attended… including MTV VJ Karen “Duff” Duffy and some poor souls who entered an MTV contest to win a free trip to Westview.

^{…and they call the show that dominates MTV’s schedule now Ridiculousness.}

Les, however, sat in the middle school gym with his free copy of the yearbook, reminiscing about the good times he had with his friends in high school rather than going and actually spending time with him. After a week’s worth of strips of this, Act II began…

I do not know if next week will time warp us into Act IV or not, but I do know I will be leaving this site in the skilled hands (and mind) of ComicBookHarriet. Godspeed.

20 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Act I, Act I call-backs, anon-o-students, badly taped signs, bearded dick with ears, bricks, bricks WHS, Cayla, Cayla's pink shirt, Coach Stropp, comma eyes, crowd, flashback, gym, horseplay, Jack Stropp, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les. Cayla, poorly taped signs, recycled gags, sad-sackery, smug inept bearded jerks, swimming, technology, very old gags, water, water bottles

by billytheskink | May 26, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Modest Louse

I neither understand nor care what Les is droning on about in today’s strip, though I do find it hard to believe any student would invite him to a graduation party… including this one. Les was invited to Montoni’s alcohol-free graduation party in ’98 (not by a student), it was about as well-attended as you would expect.

^{If the party is alcohol-free, then why are they switching from present to past tense mid-sentence?}

Cayla, for her part, is a strange combination of scandalized by a swimsuit style that has been fairly common and quite popular for half a century and nonchalant about seeing her younger self galavanting merrily beside the (time?) pool.

42 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as anon-o-students, balloons, bottled water, Cayla, comma eyes, dull stories, flying music notes, graduation party, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les. Cayla, music, poor female characters, sad-sackery, smug inept bearded jerks, Squick, sunglasses, swimming, tiny trees, trees, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, water, water bottles

by billytheskink | May 25, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Fortune Dweller

Uh… Cayla, had you met your husband before today’s strip?! Good feeling… ha! You’d get a “ha ha” if that was genuinely funny.

THIS, by the way, is why Les is (rightfully) not allowed to speak at graduations…

^{Where were you when Lisa was recording, Marge’s significant other?}

^{Note: Barry Balderman didn’t leave WHS because he was bullied or ignored, he left because he was obsessed with being valedictorian and had a nervous breakdown after he overheard Principal Fred Fairgood say that Cindy had the highest GPA in the class. What he did not overhear was that Fred was making a dumb joke that GPA stood for “Greatest Popularity of All”. Les earned those boos and then some.}

Lest you think that WHS might make the mistake of letting Les speak at graduation again because everyone who was in the administration when he was a student is retired… They aren’t.

I’m half certain that (then vice-) principal Nate has committed to work at the high school until he (or Les) dies in order to make sure that Les never steps in front of a graduation ceremony microphone ever again.

45 Comments

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Tagged as Anon-O-Character, anon-o-character with oddly-shaped head, Anon-O-Characters, anon-o-students, bearded dick with ears, Cayla, clueless students, comma eyes, Complete Worthless Ass, constant misery, disillusionment, four eyes, heavy-handedness, Inappropriate quotes, LBD, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' Slob-ass Tie, Les. Cayla, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, random students, sad-sackery, smug poses, squiggly eyebrows, traveling green shirt, unbearable smugness, Westview H.S., Westview High School, WHS

by billytheskink | May 20, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Off The Depend

Today’s strip is both stupid and gross. I have nothing else to say about it.

Here are some better comic strips, read them instead…

These puns that don’t infuriate me. Most puns don’t. TB truly has a gift…

40 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as awful wordplay, bad wordplay, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, Crazy, Crazy Harry, curmudgeonly oldsters, disembodied hand, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, Funkys, hip, Holly, I used to be cool, idiocy, isn't it ironic?, lame wordplay, misappropriated wordplay, Montoni's, Montoni's apron, moronic grins, Now Crazy Harry, Now Funky, old crap, Old dying people, pizza, really dumb questions, sad-sackery, sheer idiocy, Squick, stupid, sub-moronic wordplay, terrible wordplay, the inevitable ravages of age, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, the ravages of age, tiny hands, toilet humor, unnatural hand gestures, wordplay

by billytheskink | May 19, 2022 · 10:30 pm

It’s not even a proper hip. It’s polystyrene.

Today’s strip FINALLY gets to the point, if indirectly and dishonestly. Despite his protesting, Crazy doesn’t really want to be hip… He’s not sad that he doesn’t have the time or energy to keep up with what’s popular on the ~~radio~~ Spotify these days, he’s sad that listening to new music would require a modicum of effort from him. He’s sad because he has decided he wouldn’t enjoy listening to anything new even though he hasn’t even tried.

In short, he’s sad that what’s “hip” doesn’t conform to what he already likes.

Well if that isn’t this comic strip in a nutshell…

32 Comments

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Tagged as awful wordplay, bad wordplay, bitter resignation, bitterness, bricks, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, Crazy, Crazy Harry, curmudgeonly oldsters, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, Funkys, hatchet face, hip, I used to be cool, lame wordplay, misappropriated wordplay, Montoni's, neatly lettered signs, Now Crazy Harry, Now Funky, Old dying people, old useless junk, pathetic attempts at relevance, Pun, punnery, puns, sad-sackery, sub-moronic wordplay, terrible wordplay, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, wordplay

by billytheskink | May 15, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Hip to be square

I’m sure Epicus Doomus is happy to not be blogging about old men having boring conversations for the first time in ~~months~~ weeks (tip of the Funky felt-tip to you for your endurance), but neither I (billytheskink, hello there) nor the readers are going to be so lucky. Nope, today’s strip offers a change of venue but not of subject, old men just won’t stop blandly contemplating the decline of themselves and their worlds… and our venue may well shift back to last week’s graveyard by the end of the week if Crazy can’t name that tune in 12 notes.

Yep, Crazy’s a goner. Dang, and I had Frd Fairgood in the death pool.

50 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as apron, backs of ears, Crazy, Crazy Harry, curmudgeonly oldsters, flying music notes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, hip, jukebox, labored setup, lame wordplay, Montoni's apron, Montoni's, Montoni's T shirt, music, music in general, Now Crazy Harry, Now Funky, Old dying people, pepperoni, pizza, sad-sackery, terrible wordplay, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, trite dialog

by billytheskink | October 1, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Dej-UGH Vu

We can only hope that today’s strip marks the end of this story arc and the depiction of this unhealthy and unsettling Melinda-Holly relationship for some time (infinity is a time, right?).

With that, I will focus my commentary on Holly’s use of term “EMS Vehicle”. So, did TB just not like the way “ambulance” fit in the word balloon or does he have a thing for using awkwardly bland language? I mean, its not an incorrect term of course, but if Holly calls an ambulance an “EMS Vehicle” then Melinda ought to have said “medical facility” or something like that yesterday instead of “hospital“… y’know, to maintain this strip’s reputation for exceeding consistency.

38 Comments

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Tagged as alumni band, ambulance, awful dialog, Batiukronym, batons, complete lack of humor, crippling yet trivial injury, crosshatching, Flaming batons, Holly, Holly's mom, Holly's mother whose name escapes me at the moment, incessant rain, injuries, Jerome T. Bushka A&L Automotive Stadium, Melinda, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, nostalgia, Old dying people, rain, sad-sackery, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, WHS, woman with receding hairline

by billytheskink | June 28, 2021 · 10:30 pm

All The News That’s Fit To Sit

“Really good news” for Ruby and Flash in today’s strip! We learned the “really good news” yesterday, of course, and Ruby and Flash will have to wait to learn it until… well, hopefully sometime this week. Please let them learn it sometime this week!

“What is the point of this strip?” is a question that could be asked about Funky Winkerbean almost daily, yes, and it is a question that is never going to lead to any satisfying answers… but let’s pontificate anyway on today’s long panel of pointlessness. Is there really any reason at all to not have Durwood, Mindy, and Mopey Pete tell Ruby and Flash in this strip that they will be honored at Comic-Con in a month? Not revealing the news to them today does absolutely nothing. There is no suspense for the reader because we all learned the news yesterday. There is no suspense or anticipation for the characters because they have barely expressed the need or even want to be recognized for their work. Ruby and Flash have been glorified props in nearly every strip they have appeared in, existing almost solely to help Atomik Komix’s hard-shirking employees shirk even harder. Why wouldn’t Comic-Con and the Eisner Awards reach out to Ruby and Flash directly instead of relaying the news to Pete? Why wouldn’t these three wait for the Eisner folks to inform Ruby and Flash even if they got the news first? Why would Ruby offer her sad-sack take on the state of the comics industry as a response to the question “guess what?” posed by a coworker? Shouldn’t everyone who works at Atomik Komix be well aware of the sales of both their titles and the titles of their competitors? And what is Flash even doing here? He doesn’t work for Atomik Komix. Please tell me he’s not going to become a fixture, the Dinkle to Pete’s Lefty…

All this is doing is padding out the week worse than I padded out the preceding paragraph by asking hopeless and rhetorical questions. Oh, silly me, the point of this strip was in front of me the whole time!

32 Comments

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Tagged as arcs where nothing happens, Atomik Komix, awards, Batom's bizarre comic book fantasy world, boredom personified, comic books, Comic-Con, comics, complete lack of humor, Darin, Darin's blue shirt, Eisner Awards, fake news, Flash Freeman, hatchet face, Holtron, huge hands, mind-numbing tedium, Mindy, Minty Pete, Mopey Pete, Pete, Pete's Plaid Shirt, Ruby, Ruby Lith, sad-sackery, silly awards, that crappy old school computer, things that take an unnecessarily long time, traveling green shirt, unearned awards, weird noses, window

by billytheskink | April 4, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Batton Exchange

Welcome to Son Of Stuck Funky’s week-long 11th anniversary spectacular! Well, it will be tacular, at least, we shall see on the spec… Today’s strip kicks thing off with a ~~bang~~ flash! You can have that one for free, TB. Hey, maybe I’ll even pay YOU to take it.

So, I’m billytheskink, and I am (apparently) contractually obligated to take over the author’s seat here at SOSF whenever Batton Thomas makes his annual appearance. I really should have read the fine print. But really, I covered both of Batton’s previous appearances, April-May 2019 (he crashed DSH’s Free Comic Book Day) and April 2020 (Les invited him to mope in front of his class), naturally. One could argue that he also appeared back in January of this year, moping about Komix Korner mere days before my last stint here started, but one could also argue that old moper was Jff Murdock.

Apparently Batton “used to be famous”. I guess that is why he only started appearing in Funky Winkerbean in 2019.

37 Comments

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Tagged as Batton Thomas, comic book cover, Comic Book tribute, comic books, comics, Dead Skunk Head, inexplicably happy people, John, Komix Korner, memorabilia, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, nostalgia, sad-sackery, The Flash

by billytheskink | January 21, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Eye am about out of eye puns

And eye (ugh) *s-eye* (no no no) *sigh* (that’s better) sorry… I am about out of patience with this anti-majestic glacier of a story line. Every single thing in today’s strip happened in yesterday’s strip as well. I’m not sure even Garfield or Family Circus recycle at this level… I don’t know if this will help, but I have cut the 62 words in these last two strips down to 20 in an attempt to make this never-ending story stronger and more concise.

Dr. Droopy: Cataract surgery is pretty common nowadays.  It is quite safe and not especially complicated.
Funky: I'm worried! WORRIED, I TELLS YA!

19 Comments

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Tagged as arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, awful dialog, Bad medical news, boredom personified, bug-eyes, comma eyes, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, glib doctors, hatchet face, manila folder, medical professionals, Now Funky, oddly muted squiggly lines, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, recycled gags, sad-sackery, squiggly eyebrows, squiggly lines, squiggly lines used to denote texture, stupid, things that make you seriously regret ever starting to read FW in the first place, tiny hands, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, unnatural hand gestures, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs, weird noses

Tag Archives: sad-sackery

Stropp me if you’ve heard this one before

Modest Louse

Fortune Dweller

Off The Depend

It’s not even a proper hip. It’s polystyrene.

Hip to be square

Dej-UGH Vu

All The News That’s Fit To Sit

Batton Exchange

Eye am about out of eye puns

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