Tag Archives: sad-sackery

by billytheskink | July 19, 2020 · 1:25 am

Secrets, Lies and Errors

What fresh awfulness do we have in today’s strip? Oh, just the latest reminder that Lisa’s Story is all about Les… and that anything written or filmed about Les isn’t worth the paper or celluloid it is recorded on.

This is who Mason considers “a real hero”? Someone who apparently told the accomplished and successful actress Marianne Winters to her face that she wasn’t good enough for the role of Lisa? Someone whose advice to her on playing the role of his late wife in a scene where she is preparing to have a biopsy to confirm a probable cancer diagnosis is to think more about HIM?

Les Moore is monstrous cad and in a just Batiukverse he would have been thrown off of a railroad trestle years ago by one of a long list of suspects too long to investigate and whom no jury would convict even if caught.

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Tagged as bench, cancer films, disgust, Hollywood, how things are NEVER done, inside lingo, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Lisa, Lisa's Story, Marianne, Marianne Winters, MariLisa, Martin Johns, MasoLes, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, movies, not how movies are made, park bench, sad-sackery, silhouette, smug inept bearded jerks, soundstage, Squick, tags you never thought you'd use, wig

by billytheskink | July 17, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Snow Job Snore

Cameras are FINALLY rolling in today’s strip, which is take 3 (why?) of the contents of this Sunday strip from January 31, 1999.

Yep, even when it was actually happening, Lisa’s story was pretty much all about Les.

Les didn’t write the script for this movie, and yet, this scene is almost verbatim what was actually said back in 1999. I guess he had nothing to fear after all as the script writer must have been clairvoyant… or perhaps just too lazy to even try to punch up a bland passage lifted wholesale from the Lisa’s Story book.

If Les cannot live through seeing actors recite his own words, he knows where the door is. Even if he somehow didn’t walk through it to get in the soundstage, maybe he parachuted in or was brought in bound and gagged inside of a trunk (my favorite theory), he saw Marianne do so.

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Tagged as bench, cancer, cancer films, Hollywood, how things are NEVER done, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Lisa, Lisa's Story, Marianne, Marianne Winters, MariLisa, Martin Johns, MasoLes, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, movies, not how movies are made, park bench, retcon, sad-sackery, snow, soundstage, wig

by billytheskink | April 16, 2020 · 10:48 pm

Meeting the Four Hundred

Les just continues to mock Batton in today’s strip. Sheesh, whadda jerk! Apparently newspaper cartoonists were the original social distancing champions, which you probably would be seeing memes about if you were Facebook friends with one. Unfortunately, gags this terrible are not a rare sight in Funky Winkerbean…

Emily or, uh Amelia… whichever one wears pink and doesn’t act like what TB imagines a Hot Topic shopper to be, asks a perfectly reasonable question for a “kids these days” kid. Seriously, it is a good question and it demonstrates a knowledge of what a comic strip is, how it is distributed, and its primary measure of success. Batton, of course spins this perfectly fine question into a self-pitying humblebrag so deftly that even Les seems impressed. Newspapers may be dying, but his comic strip is in EVERY SINGLE ONE of the ones that remain! What’re you gonna accomplish in your life, Blondie?

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Tagged as Amelia, anon-o-students, Batton Thomas, Bernie, Bernie Silver, clueless students, comics, curmudgeonly oldsters, disillusionment, Emily, fake news, impending doom, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' yellow shirt, Logan Church, Maris Rogers, newspapers, Old dying people, one of those damned twins, random students, sad-sackery, Thatsnought Hewmore, these kids today, those stupid Crankshaft twins, Three O'Clock High, token black student, traveling green shirt, very old gags

by billytheskink | April 10, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Get the Buck outta here!

We can only hope today’s strip is the awful coda to this awful story arc about these awful people.

This is why you turned down Buck’s advances, Linda? Not because he was being incredibly creepy and distasteful? Not because you are still mourning your husband who committed suicide not even 6 months ago and don’t feel like jumping into any relationship? Not because you know absolutely nothing about him beyond his high school football career? Not because the only thing you two demonstratively have in common is your late husband?

I agree with Linda on one thing, though. I can’t go through this again, either.

35 Comments

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Tagged as Batiukmobile®, boredom personified, bricks, Buck, Buck Bedlow, Bull, character death, creepiness, creepy, CTE, death, disgust, disillusionment, endless tedium, impending doom, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, Linda, Linda Bushka, Old dying people, RIP Bull, sad-sackery, silhouette, Squick, things that never end, welcoming death

by billytheskink | April 9, 2020 · 11:15 pm

Buck off

Today’s strip seems almost tame after yesterday’s turn of events, but still… Yes! To think, we all called Pete the creepy one.

Everything about this continues to be bizarre and off-putting. Why is Linda apparently conflicted about backing away from Buck’s advance? Heck, why is Buck making these advances to begin with? I mean, sure, he talked to Linda a bit when he came to visit Bull but… that’s just it, he came to visit BULL. Prior to Bull’s death, he spent 95% of his time at the Bushka house with Bull. Even when he was talking to Linda, they talked about Bull!

We know nothing about Buck other than that he played high school football and that he was miraculously diagnosed with CTE. Did he have a career? Prior relationships? Family? Friends? We have no context for this behavior, which means TB has painted himself into a corner without a way to make Buck come across as anything but gross and way out of line.

38 Comments

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Tagged as Batiukmobile®, Buck, Buck Bedlow, characters everyone hates, creepiness, creepy, CTE, disgust, impending doom, Inappropriate quotes, Linda, Linda Bushka, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, sad-sackery, Squick, tags you never thought you'd use, tiny hands, very long arcs, very old gags

by billytheskink | January 14, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Die or Die Not, There Is No Try

Today’s strip takes a pre-dick-tably maudlin turn. Like we didn’t all know “Les tries to sullenly undermine this dumb movie thing” was going to be the gist of this story arc.

Even if I wasn’t short on time to write this, I’m wouldn’t archive dive to prove that Lisa did or did not say what Les is claiming at some point in time… because I can quickly and easily point to a time when she pretty much said the exact opposite.

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Tagged as cancer, Cayla, character death, chemotherapy, comma eyes, death, encroaching dread, Hollywood, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les. Cayla, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, Lisa, Lisa's Story, Los Angeles, lost cause, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, Mason's Nose, movies, retcon, retcons of retcons, sad-sackery, sheer idiocy, sickening dread, smug inept bearded jerks, welcoming death

by billytheskink | October 7, 2019 · 10:30 pm

Memories… Summer good, Summer not

It’s back to the WABAC machine in today’s strip. No, I’m not talking about the flashback to “five years ago…”, I’m talking about Bull’s funeral, which has itself moved two-and-a-half years backward in time in order to accommodate a five years ago flashback featuring players Bull last coached in the spring of 2012. Well, at least we are getting something that is actually about Bull in this one… that’s so damning with faint praise that it could keep an ocean at bay. (“Billy was a special blogger”, they said at his funeral.)

Also, I tagged both Keisha and Linda in this, because I’m not sure which one of them is standing next to Summer in panel 3.

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Tagged as awful wordplay, bad wordplay, basketball, Bull, Cayla, character death, coffin, coloring gaffes, CTE, death, dumb clothing jokes, Falling leaves, funeral, impending doom, Keisha, lame wordplay, Les, Les' Slob-ass Tie, Les. Cayla, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, Linda, Linda Bushka, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, please make it stop, rain, random students, real places in Ohio, Remembrence of Strips Past, retcon, RIP Bull, sad-sackery, sub-moronic wordplay, Summer, terrible wordplay, things that never end, things to do in Westview when you're dead, unidentified background objects, Westview H.S., Westview High School, word zeppelins, wordplay

by billytheskink | October 6, 2019 · 10:30 pm

Back Page News

Are you wondering how Bull’s wife and children are mourning his death? Maybe how his former players and fellow coaches, whose lives he surely had a large impact on, have reacted? Well, too bad for you, for the art of storytelling, and for general decency… because today’s strip is focused on four schmucks, only one of whom even knows Bull moderately well (and one who has NEVER once met the guy) and none of whom have talked to Bull in at least 3 full years. Heck, they aren’t even talking about Bull, they are awkwardly reminding us that Cindy was popular in high school.

Bull’s death only made page 2 of the Westview Gazette? This is a town with only five employers and Bull was the most decorated employee in the history of the largest of those. What could possibly have made the front page?

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Tagged as Cayla, character death, characters everyone hates, Cindy, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, CTE, death, Falling leaves, football, funeral, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' death, Les' Slob-ass Tie, Les. Cayla, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, Linda, Linda Bushka, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, Mason's Nose, newspapers, Nobottom Road, Now Cindy, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, please make it stop, rain, RIP Bull, sad-sackery, smirk, Spider-Man, things that never end, things to do in Westview when you're dead, traffic accidents, traffic fatalities, Westview Gazette, Westview H.S., Westview High School

by billytheskink | October 1, 2019 · 12:36 am

The Wreck of the Old ’97 Hatchback

Hey, so we get a microcosm of this whole story arc in today’s strip, jumping back an hour prior to the wreck that we’ve already seen… much as TB has already spoiled how this important story arc ends.

The worst thing, though, is that poor, lonesome, neglected potted plant 8-and-a-half feet up on top of the kitchen cabinets… or maybe its that Linda’s oh-so-clever hiding place for the car keys was the top of the unlocked junk drawer? The dadgum JUNK DRAWER, Linda?! The place EVERY sentient being knows that EVERY key-sized thing winds up in at one time or another? Were you even trying?

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Tagged as Batiukmobile®, Bull, car keys, character death, CTE, death, flimsy guardrails, impending doom, Nobottom Road, potted plants in strange places, real places in Ohio, RIP Bull, sad-sackery, state police, traffic accidents, traffic fatalities, twisted wreckage

by Epicus Doomus | March 18, 2019 · 10:35 pm

Nuh Body Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen

Link To Today’s Strip

A stunning turn of events today, as it’s revealed that Bull is in fact downstairs watching one of his old high school football games, a development no one could have foreseen. BatYarn once again can’t resist grinding his heel into Bull’s soul, again reminding readers that Bull is, was and always will be a sad-sack schlub and all-around loser who wasted his life on stupid sports instead of watching his first wife die and writing a book about it like more refined, studious and educated Westviewians do. Suffering from a degenerative brain disease isn’t enough punishment for Bull’s past transgressions, now he’s going to be forced to wallow in his lengthy litany of defeat for good measure, just to further drive the point home. BatTom won’t even allow Bull the dignity of becoming a drooling helpless idiot, he’s still milking him for laughs and cheap gags and apparently will continue to do so to the bitter end. Man that guy sure carries a grudge.

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Tagged as Bull, Linda, sad-sackery, WHS Scapegoats

Tag Archives: sad-sackery

Secrets, Lies and Errors

Snow Job Snore

Meeting the Four Hundred

Get the Buck outta here!

Buck off

Die or Die Not, There Is No Try

Memories… Summer good, Summer not

Back Page News

The Wreck of the Old ’97 Hatchback

Nuh Body Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen

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