Tag Archives: Hollywood

Boyz On The Hood

Today’s strip is too stupid for words. These two drove up to the Hollywood sign to reflect on all of those poor souls who never find the success in the entertainment industry that they completely stumbled into and NEVER earned? Tone deaf doesn’t even begin to describe how tone def this is.

Which one of these two owns this 2009 Mitsubishi Eclipse and how long have they actually been a 16 year old girl in disguise? It is so close to the unprotected edge of the mountain… won’t someone please drop this thing into neutral? Pretty please.

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Haik-UNIVAC

Still talking about
Holtron ownership transfer
here in today’s strip?!

Wealthy Boomers are
Out there laying down stacks for
Sperry-Rand mainframes?

Why didn’t props group
Make a more mobile Holtron
For the first movie?

No really, why not?
Or why did they need Holtron
In the first place, huh?

Sentient Holtron
Has always been property
This is just so wrong

A better comic
Would be Short Circuit rip-off
With Holtron and Frank

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Off you go, into the mild new blunder

Mr. Director (Martin Johns) doesn’t even feign disappointment in today’s strip, as Pete and Durwood officially quit the Hollywood jobs they never much actually did. In fact, he seems thoroughly excited to be rid of these two sacks of misshapen rocks.

It is one of the most understandable moments in recent Funky Winkerbean history. You can see the relief washing over him, finally losing these two deadweights without having to incur any pushback from Mason. I expect it is like the feeling when an awful coworker, one who could never get fired because of a relation/connection to upper management, decides to leave. Mr. Johns is one of the least disagreeable shmucks in the recent history of this comic strip and I’m almost happy for him today.

Pete and Durwood… Atomic Comics… movie rights… CME’s sudden shortage of Cecile B. DeMille-era director’s chairs… Don’t care.

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Cinday, April 10

Today’s strip was not available for preview, which I’m sure suits Cindy and her allegedly flagging beauty just fine, so I’m going to do what I pretty much always do when there is no strip to preview… post an old strip.

I wonder what was going on in Funky Winkerbean on this date back in, oh… let’s say 1991.

FW4-10-91

Cindy was grounded for two weeks due to her poor grades and couldn’t go to the mall (the horror!), so when her grounding finally ended the mall threw a celebration for her return. Westview’s mall hasn’t been seen or mentioned in years (last appearance: Father’s Day 2012, maybe?). With the struggles malls are facing nationally, the general economic climate in Westview, and the apparent fact that no-longer-a-resident Cindy was responsible for a significant amount of their business, I think it is safe to say it has long since been shuttered.

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Femur? I barely know her…

Hey party people, billytheskink here wishing Son Of Stuck Funky a very happy 8th Birthday! Has it really been eight years? Feels like eighty reading this strip…

I was going to say I was here from the beginning, but apparently I wasn’t. Not in the comments section anyways. Nevertheless, I was a Stuck Funky regular who made my way over not too long after that first post and I’ve been here ever since. The community here has been one of my favorite things on the internet for each an every one of its eight years of existence. Big thanks to TFH, Epicus, and everyone who has taken on the duty of decency that is cutting this strip down to size.

Oh yeah, there’s today’s strip to look at. *Yawn*. Cindy is still insecure… and now she is blind, as a kissing Mason’s razor-sharp features have gouged out her eyeballs. Please add “enjoy it while it lasts” to the list of things no one has said about Funky Winkerbean in 25 years.

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Hollywood Squares

Link To Today’s One

“So what do you think about having me repeat the premise one more goddamned f*cking time, Darin?”

“Well, I’d sure hate to force my always-complaint wife and young son to move again just so I can chase yet another ridiculous comic book-related pipe dream……”

“HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”

As their Hyndau Axolotl chugs down Hagglemore Lane in a cloud of leaded gasoline smoke, the “guys” ponder their next move. Do they blow off their commitments and a potentially lucrative payday to write silly dialog and doodle on behalf of Chester’s wildly half-assed idea or do they continue to humiliate and degrade themselves on Hollywood’s cruel, sadistic, indifferent and depraved altar instead? Decisions, decisions. They wanted to add a ninety year old actor they found living in squalor to a half-finished movie and bam, just like that he’s a global superstar getting married to ninety year old starlets. But pondering a job offer? That will require months if not years of endless introspection and rehashing as they very slowly ponder this crucial comic book-altering choice.

I almost can’t believe this is still going. This arc began back on February 12th, this is (gasp) week six right now. Not a whole lot of modern-day FW arcs go on for this long, especially consecutively like this. We’ve seen more Boy Lisa over the last six weeks than we’ve seen in years, it wasn’t all that long ago when the poor sap couldn’t even get a single weekly arc to himself. And everyone was OK with that, actually. But I have to say, this arc’s annoying staying power sort of surprises me, mindlessly skipping from story to story is kind of his trademark and it’s jarring when he doesn’t do it.

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Spot Six Differences!

Wow! Bob Weber of Slylock Fox would be proud of today’s offering.

At first I thought there was something wrong, and they simply hadn’t updated the strips. Because today is a reprint of yesterday’s strip. But upon further inspection there do seem to be tiny, subtle differences between yesterday and today. See if you can find all six!

It took me hours and hours, but I finally found one: The cosmic treadmill that Pete and Darin bought on their second honeymoon is in the background of panel two! How many can you find?

What a fun and interactive game Batiuk has given us. It may not progress the plot, deepen the characters, or be even in the least bit interesting or funny, but at least it fills a Friday shaped hole in our week. One more box checked off as we all coast inevitably to an obscure retirement, and an unlauded death.

So Fun!

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