And now, we return you to your scheduled program of…
Speaking Frankly, The Fallen Leaf.
Tonight we’re travelling back to a magical place, Hollywood. And we’re travelling back to a magical time, 2016.
Tag Archives: Hollywood
Silverfiche
OK, which one of you yutzes bet Tom Batiuk that he couldn’t put together another strip about Bernie Silver’s senior pictures? I suppose we have you to thank for today’s strip…
The good news is we can all boot up our Packard Bells and our MS Paints and join Bernie out in Tinseltown, where we’ll be paid handsomely for our rudimentary green screen skills (citation needed). Here’s a blank Bernie to start with:
Now go forth… The possibilities are endless!
History!
Sports!
Economics!
The deaths that built Gordon Lightfoot’s house!
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Clap on! Clap off!
Marianne does NOT look like someone who is willing to give away her Oscar in the first today’s strip. No, she’s looking at that Oscar the way most characters in this strip look at comic books.
The rest of this is as rote and pat as an Oscar acceptance speech can be, so let’s have some fun with another crowd shot of “famous” faces. Help me fill in the blanks and fix the mistakes where my corrective lenses deceived me.
- A replicant
- NO NECK JOE!
- Alana Haim deserves better seats than this
- Stanley Tucci on a ski trip
- David Duchovny’s face
- HAL 9000 putting on its best gold
- Debra Jo Rupp
- General U.S. Grant again
- A cumulonimbus cloud
- I don’t know, but her body language is appropriate
- David Duchovny’s hair
- Cousin It
- Beldar Conehead
- Hogarth Hughes
- Maria, from Sesame Street
- Cassidy’s sister, Alexus Kerr (see, I can do it too, TB)
- Yoko Ono
- Harold Lloyd (I mean, if Phil Holt is alive…)
- The Chinless Contessa
- Given her glare I’m guessing this is either Gretchen Gold or Cordelia Rama
- Burt Reynolds (again… Phil Holt)
- Jennifer Anniston’s hair
- Sid, from accounting
- We have General Grant, so why not Robert E. Lee too?
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Hai-can’t with this
Here is today's strip Is it worse than we all feared Or simply as bad If I was popcorn I would be quite offended By this portrayal Les hated this film Why would he even watch this Was happy it failed In this case, "writer" Would not describe Les as he Did not write the script This deserves more scorn I'm a skink, I can't rant, so I'm counting on you Rip this thing to shreds Kill it with all of the fire Or just acetone
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Special Enragement
In today’s strip, Marianne is coming off as not simply composed but rehearsed, belying the nerves and words she had just a few days ago. Or maybe Marianne is just that good of an actress and really is worthy of that Oscar… I have to admit, only a great actress could say that Mason and Lisa’s Story deserve Academy Award nominations without breaking out in riotous laughter.
Let’s look at some odds on who this Oscar-worthy “very special person” is:
- 100-1 Cassidy Kerr, for giving Mason points on the backend
- 1,000-1 “Mr. Director” Martin Johns, for keeping his head when Marianne went AWOL from the Starbuck Jones set, actually trying to reach Marianne instead of pointlessly pontificating, and then contacting the actual authorities like a sane person
- 1 million-1 Cable Movie Entertainment and Clay Wallace, for letting Mason pitch Lisa’s Story at another studio with no resistance after he torpedoed their Lisa production by quitting to become Starbuck Jones (nope, it ultimately wasn’t the infamous “kill fee”)
- 75-1 Cindy, for arranging to use Bull’s funeral as a pre-production springboard for the movie
- 275-1 Holly, for demanding the movie be made but not demanding her role be portrayed
- 50-1 Rex Morgan MD, for… uh, aren’t people always giving him things for no reason?
- 700-1 Cayla, for being inhumanly comfortable with being treated as a silver medal
- 40-1 Marianne’s oncologist, for obvious reasons
- 10-1 Lisa, for dying
- 27-1 Lisa’s oncologist, for obvious reasons
- itsgonnabehim-1 Les, for absolutely no defensible reason at all
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Son of Stuck Funky 
