Tag Archives: TV

The Gritz of Old Hollywood.

Link to Today’s Strip

Yup. It’s just a neighborhood covered in billboards. Due to Botcons and TFcons in the area, I’ve been to Hollywood four or five times myself. Because every time I went, there was someone else in the group who hadn’t seen it. It’s certainly a place. I’m glad I got to see it once. Point at the stars on the Walk, go to the pavement of the Chinese Theatre, and put my own hands where Harrison Ford (and literally thousands and thousands and thousands of foreign tour groups) have put their hands before.

But I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite place to go in LA.

Because it’s a street lined with desperation. Every person you pass that isn’t a tourist is an uncomfortable sales pitch waiting to happen: smiling with their mouth but not their eyes, scanning every fanny-packed stranger, hunting for the barest indication of eye contact to swoop in. Its not the kind of place for the untrained midwesterner who is used to benignly waving with all five fingers extended at strangers when they pass them on the highway.

Everyone in the comments has been shocked by the survival of the Chateau, and most of Hollywood proper. But I’ll remind you that there have numerous Southern California wildfires since the hotel was built in 1929. I pulled up my old map I made of the fire last year, just to confirm that Hollywood was probably spared, while Cindy and Mason’s Malibu McMansion went up in smoke.

The Bronson Caves are in Griffith Park.

So yeah, it would have been a near thing. If I was the owner, I would have been nervously sniffing my dinner plate of cocaine, and making calls with promises of bribes to the Fire Chief.

But the REAL non-sequitur today is the Starbuck Jones billboard. The premier for that movie was supposed to be going on during the fires last year. Were we supposed to have some pandemic related delay? Those things aren’t cheap to rent, and Hollywood regularly repaints itself in the trappings of whatever the next big blockbuster will be. When I was last there, every billboard, bus stop, and park bench was painted with the Hellboy 2019 movie that bombed.(#notmyHellboy.)

So, we have two options. One, the movie’s release was delayed an entire year and I’m just forgetting. I mean the 2021 Comic Con badges were Starbuck Jones too.

Two, this is a Tommy Wiseau The Room situation. The movie’s already bombed, but they’re hoping to drum up interest in the DVD sales. So they’ve paid for a single Hollywood billboard, month after month, year after year. Four years from now, Masone Jarree will still be staring with his black soulless eyes through his fishbowl helmet out at the drivers on Sunset Blvd.

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We All Scream

J.J. O’Malley
February 26, 2021 at 11:43 pm
I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I almost want there to be a complete tour of the new and “improved” Chateau Winkerbean tomorrow, just so our six days of sloughing through (apparently) one very repetitive day-long conversation won’t have totally been in vain.

Hate to spoil it for ya, J.J., but I have a feeling that today’s strip is about as close as we’re gonna get to seeing the actual reno in progress. Throwaway panel 1 is a lovingly detailed rendering of a gutted kitchen, chock full of the kind of details–the orange extension cord, discarded sheetrock and wood, exposed studs and electrical–that have me thinking Batty snapped some reference pix during the real-life reno of his own kitchen that inspired this arc.

Also in panel 1, to the left of the FW text, we see Holly’s profile, which tells us that they’re sitting in a room that’s just off the kitchen. Which makes me wonder how she could forget that the ice cream and everything else has been moved to another location.

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Eye Don’t Have Any Idea…

First, a big hand for Epicus Doomus for taking a three week stint writing these posts. Yeoman’s work, truly. I can’t tell you how many times this strip has had me wanting to tap out after one week day.

Looks like today’s strip continues what we saw last Friday and Saturday, and what has dominated 10 of the 18 strips printed since Christmas Day… yes, it is yet another installment of At Home With The Winkerbeans. Part Pluggers… part Lockhorns… It somehow manages to fall short of even the absolute worst that those two mockable comics page mainstays have to offer. Heck, I’m not even sure what is going on here.

Is the joke that Holly’s vision is even worse than Funky’s? (Believe it or not, there is 4 year old precedent for this.) Is it that Funky’s vision is so bad that he thinks their DVR has a clock when it doesn’t? Is it that neither of these characters wear glasses regularly even though they both demonstrably need to? Does TB think DVR clocks are ubiquitous in the way VCR clocks once were? (They aren’t.)

One down, thirteen more to go…

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In The Hot Seat.

Link to today’s strip whenever it appears

Comic Book Harriet reporting from the scene of the missing previews. Literally sweating bullets over trying to come up with something that hasn’t been said already by the hordes of commenters, or, as Batiuk likes to call us, ‘Beady-Eyed Nitpickers’.

Seeing a bunch of fresh names in the comments section lately brings a smile to my heart. Hate reading crappy comics is one of life’s greatest pleasures, like music, or fine wine, meant to be shared with like-minded connoisseurs. I don’t know if you people are coming back to watch the world burn, or have just found the place, but the you’re stoking the fire with some pretty hot fuel for thought.

Such as.

I hope everyone will give SpacemanSpiff85 a massive round of internet points for putting up with almost an entire shift of no previews. He was able to transmogrify something out of nothing, which is the exact opposite of what Tom usually accomplishes.

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Wow, That’s a Lot of Flames

Today’s strip was also not available for preview. I’m expecting it to be a single panel of every character in the strip burning in the golf club flames, while Les stands safe to the side mocking them for not remembering to stop, drop and roll. And then Monday the strip will start all over again in Act II without any kind of explanation.

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Instant Replay.

Link to today’s strip

Funky and Holly have satellite TV? They’re in town right? Why don’t they just get cable?

I’ll admit, I’m a technological Luddite. When I moved to my own place I hooked up an antenna to my TV so I can watch the three local stations that can still come in analogue. But mostly I bum Wifi off my housemate and use it to watch pirated episodes of Time Team on YouTube from my laptop. I got one of those Roku sticks for Christmas to turn my WalMart bargain flat-screen into a ‘smart’ TV, but I just use it for more YouTube.

So it sickens mean to realize that Funky and Holly are more ‘tech savy’ than me. Holly most of all. In fact, for the rest of this week I am choosing to imagine that Holly just shut off the satellite feed from the remote and pretended like it fritzed out to mess with Funky.

And what is up with Funky this week? Did Ayers lose a bet with Batiuk and now has to draw Funky getting a surprise prostate exam from the Invisible Man every day?

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Buzzer Beaten

Link to today’s strip

Some of you yesterday were wondering about the lack of a punchline. Today we learn the joke. In his desire to prepare some kind of boiling black tar substance Funky has missed a last second Hail Mary shot. And Holly shrieked in almost climactic ecstasy. Was this a playoff game? It’s so Batiukian to either be incredibly specific, (We are at the Ohio Music Educators Conference!) or frustratingly vague. (Our sportsball team is playing a non-specified game against a non-specified opponent.)

By the look on Funky’s face in the last panel, this will be more than just a petty annoyance to him. He looks like a man who has just shit his own pants upon noticing his grandchild playing in traffic while delivering a eulogy at his wife’s funeral.

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Saturday, November 30

Today’s strip wasn’t available for preview…

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DV Aaarrrggghhh

Proof that video technology in the Funkiverse has indeed progressed beyond those VHS tapes that everyone hoards and cherishes.  We haven’t even seen Miranda this week, but her trail of destruction extends to every room of the Winkerbean house. In the comments here yesterday, Epicus described Tuesday’s zoomed in computer monitor gag “relatable,” and I find myself relating to today’s. Some years back, my wife’s grandmother, may she rest in peace, lived with us for awhile after being flooded out of her home. And oh boy, did she love her tee vee. We didn’t (and still don’t) have a DVR, but Nana watched the tube all hours of the day and night. “Downton Abbey” and “Golden Girls” not so much, but “Law & Order” apparently can be found any time on one cable channel or another, and after awhile, that signature “DUN DUN!” sounder that gets played at scene changes drove me right up the wall.

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How Les Got His Groove Back

Link To Today’s Strip

Today’s strip was not available for preview.  Rumor among industry insiders is it was pulled at the last minute when editors realized it was an extremely explicit and detailed portrayal of Les and Cayla engaging in their traditional “Les and Lisa” roleplaying.  Those in the know say that the original strip and all its printings have been burned, and the ashes dumped into the deepest part of the sea.  Those unfortunate enough to witness the strip are being given the best counseling and seeing eye dogs available.

 

So here’s today’s strip.  You know what is one of the best things about comics as a medium?  I’d say it’s how you can pair funny or engaging writing with exciting, dynamic visuals.  Or you can just have two unattractive people in a bland, boring house stare silently at a TV while you copy and paste in jokes from “Funniest Football Banter of All Time, Volume 3”.

Coming up tomorrow-the nightmare continues, only this time with the talented and witty Epicus Doomus in charge!

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