Have you been paying attention to Crankshaft this month?
If not, then today is not going to make a lick of sense.
Currently in Crankshaft, Cranky’s grandson Max and his common-law wife Hannah, have gone back to working for Channel 1. Channel 1 subsequently suffered an implausible ransomware attack and is having to air reruns of The John Darling Show. Did you know that Darin’s wife, Jessica, is the daughter of her father, John Darling, who was murdered? Les Moore wrote a book about it.
Did you also know that Max, the not-a-husband of Hannah, (the woman who spoke of these tapes as if they were some long forgotten media), is also the nephew of John Darling Jessica’s father, who was murdered?
And this is why Batiuk’s random decision sometime last year to, without explanation or official announcement, just drop the time differential between Westview and Centerview is going to muck up way way way more than it is ever going to ‘fix’. Because his two strips are more incestuous than a GRRM fantasy setting. And so many of these relationships were founded during the time the differential was in play.
I mean, did YOU know that when Pete finally ties the knot with Mindy it will make Darin his cousin-in-law? (I know BillyTheSkink does.) But does TOM?
What about Emily and Amelia. You know, the blond twins that just graduated from high school this year?
Well, if Crankshaft and Funky Winkerbean are now on the same time plane, they sure grew up a lot in just a week.
I can hear the arguments already. ‘The time skip just confused people.’ ‘Hardly anyone is going to notice in the week to week.’
The thing is, Batiuk is obsessed with the legacy of his work. If this was cheap, disposable, storytelling then randomly unraveling the time skip in bits and pieces, uncommented on, wouldn’t matter. But what about the work AS A WHOLE? You can sit down, right now, and read all of Act III. It only takes a few hours. It actually improves quite a bit on being consumed this way. 15 years, binged all at once. And if you do that, then the Crankshaft crossovers show up once or twice a year.
And now they’re not going to make any sense. Dozens of stories, dozens and dozens of strips, are going to be in this weird de-canonized place. Because they CAN’T have happened. All that confusion is going to crop up about four hours into consuming Act III.
I guess it’s called writing.
Speaking of writing! Someone got a little creative in the comments this week and wrote a little golfing arc for us. I don’t have the time to adapt the entire thing in MS paint. But I thought I would bring you the thrilling conclusion. Especially since this Sunday’s strip is so unbearably unpunny.
So here it is! Satisfying Shit by Sorial Promise, Comic Book Harriet, Batiuk, Davis, and Ayers.
And that’s it for me this shit.
I mean SHIFT! SHIFT! SHIFT!
PPS: For any of you wondering about the Smokey Williams, Jefferson Jacks, sitch from my last shift. Strike Four! came and I read it. There was a long arc of Crankshaft mentoring Smokey Williams (Cayla’s Father) to a Cleveland Indians World Series victory. Crankshaft then gets a WORLD SERIES RING, and I laughed and laughed and laughed at how similar it was to the Les Moore wins an Oscar plot.
Smokey Williams is never racially targeted in his appearances.