Tag Archives: Les

Quiz Bowel

It is comics like today’s strip that remind me how good I have it. I’m not taking high school English from Les Moore. I never had to take high school English from Les Moore. It is as if he is intentionally trying to be the opposite of the teacher that successful people so often cite as the inspiration that got them to make something of their life. What a miserable experience in every single way this strip is.

Les’ senior students did poorly on their quiz last Monday and now his freshman students have done poorly on theirs… I see a common denominator here. I bet these students would too if Westview High had a math teacher.

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Les Quizérables

Hello SOSFers, billytheskink here to ponder the ponderous ponderings of this comic strip with you all for the next couple weeks.

Why does Garfield hate Mondays? He’s a cat, he doesn’t have a job. His owner doesn’t have a job that keeps him from making lasagna on Mondays (or a job at all, even… is Jon still supposed to be a cartoonist?). I guess Mondays are when Nermal shows up, but that happens on rare occasions and Nermal always sticks around for at least a week anyways, making whole weeks terrible.

I have just now realized that Garfield hates Mondays because he read today’s strip, and it is hard to blame him. I think I hate Mondays now too.

We have seen Les berate his students before (including just under a month ago, in fact), but this time he has decided to leave the classroom door wide open so passers by can hear him humiliate every single student he has been charged with teaching. You know, maybe this is TB’s attempt to bring a balanced perspective to this strip. He’s done an anti-bullying story arc, why not a pro-bullying one?

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Un-A-Track-Tive

Link to today’s strip

Look at that first panel, it just screams “I have nothing here”. And whaddya know…he doesn’t. Unless you consider today’s bit of woeful wordplay to be “something”, which I do not. Still though, after two weeks of marching band gags I’m willing to accept this one even in spite of Dick Facey’s loathsome presence. What a dick.

And that’s it for me, fellow snarkers…stay tuned for the Funk-tastic snark stylings of billytheskink, who hopefully manages to avoid the onslaught of band gags that haunted me this time around!

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Even His Tools Try To Escape From Him

Link to today’s strip.

Not much to say about this one.  Of course it stars Les, so that’s a drop of three letter grades right there.

I nominate panel six as the Official Portrait of Les Moore.  It’s his best side and self-descriptive at the same time.

Thus ends my stewardship in the Funkyverse.  Let’s see, some people chatted about snacks, then other people chatted about awards.  Holly printed something by mistake, and Les almost lost a pencil.  Wow, it’s a wonder I was able to survive all that incredible action.

Starting tomorrow, the lovely and talented Epicus Doomus will be your host.  Let’s all please give him a warm, SOSF welcome! (Applause sign lights up.)

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Let’s Go to the Tape

Link to today’s strip.

How many years has Les been teaching at Westview High?  And yet, according to panel two, he still has to tape a paper sign to his window.  You’d think the teachers would have little engraved signs on the doors or windows, but no, No One Will Escape…The Entapening.  (This film has not yet been rated.)

Is Tom Batiuk on the payroll of the 3M company?    That…actually, that wouldn’t surprise me.

As far as the actual content of the strip is concerned, I can’t make any sense out of it.  He wants them to be prepared for the test, and that’s fine, but then he goes on into nonsense land.

Just as an experiment, I went back though this years strips and replaced his last panel dialogue with something else.  With one exception, these are unaltered.  The slightly altered one is first.  I think they make just as little sense as the original, but are improvements nonetheless.

 

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Harper Les

Link to today’s strip.

Greetings, folks, BChasm here, back behind the soundboard.  Thank you, TFH, for a typically stellar performance–now I know what it was like, back when The Monkees followed their opening act, Jimi Hendrix, on to the stage.

The secret to being a good guest host is working with good material and bringing out something unique.  The secret to being a great guest host is working with no material at all and coming up with something, which brings me to today’s piffle.

I guess it was about a year ago that Harper Lee published Go Set A Watchman, and I further guess that Tom Batiuk thought that would be suitable grist for his mill…somehow.    I always assume that all of Les’ students are idiots, so I’ve learned nothing new about Amelia (whichever of the twins she is).  But once again Les shows himself to be a colossal dick.

In my time in school, all the way through college, I never had a professor mock me by reading out one of my incorrect answers.  And I fail to see what point Les is trying to make.  If he thinks she’s not paying attention, a simple “Please see me after classes” written on the exam would suffice just fine.   During which the teacher would discuss the student’s difficulties and make suggestions.   You know, trying to help the student–something he’s supposed to be doing–rather than taking the opportunity to show what an ass he is.

So, I suspect Les’ after class meeting would start with some stupid wordplay and might finally get around to asking Amelia about her class performance.  Then she’d respond to his question, “Gee, Mr. Moore, you’re so boring.  You drone on and on about your dead wife when you’re not making these awful puns.  I’m going back to Crankshaft.”

That might be a nice thing to be able to do, any other teacher would think.  Somehow, though, I suspect Les finds it just fine in Westview, where all must celebrate his dickery.

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★★★★★

“You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.”
― Saul Bellow

Nope, but you do have to be able to read what you wrote the morning after. You’ll remember Les as the guy who a week (and ten years) ago showed up in Crankshaft to pooh-pooh the creative techniques of his fellow writers at a book festival. Please tell me how jotting down ideas that come to you in your sleep differs at all from “I go to sleep and allow my dreams to write my book for me.”

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