Tag Archives: Comic-Con

A Veritable Smorgasbord…of Horror.

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Comic Book Harriet back again. And I want to thank Beckoning Chasm for taking one for the team. The last slot was an absolute void of material, even when the strips were available, and he filled it up with snark like only an inviting ravine extending into nothingness knows how.

And what a treat for me! We have Mopey and Mindy! A sad sack of a man only defined by comic books, and a carbon copy of every other blonde in the strip, only defined by the men around her.

I mean, seriously, can you be more of a non-character? Not to get nerdy, but we are dealing with some serious replicative fading. Each Cindy clone gets less and less viable. Cindy at least has a detailed history of independent action. And she used to have an actual personality before the Westview blandification virus infected her and turned her into the same neurotic depressive as everyone else, like an insidious hive-mind of wryness.

Jessica is less interesting, has never had a personality, and also is partially defined by her father, John Darling, who was murdered. But at least she attempted a career for a while separate from her husband. She also occasionally has conversations with other women that pass the Bechdel test.

But Mindy is like a box of expired No-Doz. Perky, yes. But completely flavorless and kind of nauseating. She wandered into her boyfriend’s office one day and he gave her a job because she was good at coloring in the lines. What did she do before other than work at the Valentine? What does she like? Did she ever have any kind of dream that wasn’t being handed a job by a man she knew? The only things we know about her inner life is that Cranky is her grandpa. Pete is literally dating the memory of an elderly man.

Still we’ve got a real buffet of monsters in the background here! From left to right. We have man presumably unironically wearing a Cincinnati Reds shirt. With a projected 7.9% chance to make the playoffs this year, and an average home game attendance of 20,000, nearly filling up half their ballpark, their future is definitely so bright they’re gonna need shades. His landwhale wife in her pointy sunglasses looks like she could have walked to the fair straight from the Far Side. And her terrifying tiny wig may have been stolen from a pediatric cancer patient.

Between Pete and Mindy is either an escaped convict in a hat or a construction worker on break. Right of Mindy’s head is the reincarnation of King Tut, complete with sloping forehead, elongated skull, slim body, and slight gut. Mindy’s arm is blocking his feet, so we can’t tell if he was cursed with a club foot in this life too. Next to him is a poor shoulderless woman who either has prominent rounded ears or a horrifyingly unfortunate nose.

Then we have the return of the dickhead! He even has a nice little coronal line where the shaft of his neck meets his glans, I mean face. He is drinking a refreshing beverage from a reusable cloth cup and straw he has fashioned from leftover fabric from his shirt and hat.

His wife looks like an extra from Planet of the Apes trying to pass. Lucky for them two of their three children look relatively normal. The poor kid in the stoller though. Pull that sunshade down! No one needs to see that! And it’s child abuse to let your lumpy potato child roast in the sun until he’s nice and crispy brown.

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Sloppy Second Place.

Link to Today’s Comic.

So Tom at least realized that is would be beyond crass to have ‘Lisa’s Story’ WIN the award. We’ve learned something about the lines he will and wont cross.

But when you thought the plotline couldn’t get any weirder or more half-assed, we don’t get to see the announcing of the award, or the immediate reaction. We jump from before the award being announced to some time following later.

I would hate to be Tom’s wife, the man has trouble experiencing a climax. Everything is foreplay to him, followed by a blackout and then an awkward denouement. Since his massive Atomic Komix startup saga tapered off even his foreplay has been perfunctory. Perhaps we are entering the era of endless quickies, shorter and shorter storylines eventually turning the strip back into the one shot comic it once was.

Panel One: Cayla hands her ‘Honey’ divorce papers.
Panel Two: Les drinks while being insulted by an imaginary cat.
Panel Three: Les asks out an attractive woman at a book fair.

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Whistling Dicksie

Link to Today’s Comic.

Well Darin and Jess are already drunk, and are hanging all over each other like two kids necking at the back of the old Valentine Theatre. Jess has lost a finger. In fact all the hands are extra hideous today. And Cayla is missing a neck. What a treat!

Les has absolutely no grounds to be ashamed of a friend making a scene, but it’s nice to see him miserable anyway.

Something I had never really noticed until I was examining the last panel is how the Funkyverse house art style generally doesn’t include lip tint. Normally it doesn’t stand out. But Jess today, with fully detailed lips, really should have them colored nice and pink or red, as would befit a lady at an awards show. instead she has a terrifying flesh colored pucker on her face, like she has an asshole for a mouth.

Cayla has an asshole for a mouth too. But his name is Les.

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Self-Defrecating Humor.

Link to Today’s Comic.

Today’s strip is merely an inverse retread of yesterday’s strip, and commenting about Les being an insufferable twit has become an exhausting refrain. So instead some notes on the art.

In Panel one Cayla has a gross lobster hand deformity and seems to be putting her finger directly into her drink, no doubt slipping herself a mickey.

Darin and Jess have identical poses and smiles, which REALLY ups the creep factor between the two of them. Are we sure they’re not actually half-siblings? I wouldn’t put a little statutory indiscretion beyond Jess’s father, the talk show host, John Darling, who was murdered. Lisa could have been paid off to pin the deed on some jerk she got blackout drunk. Explains how she afforded law school.

Darin’s jacket is the same color as Cayla’s skin. I’m sure a Freshman Social Sciences major could write a seven page paper about the subtle metaphor of white male privilege clothing and protecting itself with by adopting the exterior trappings, the skin, of persecuted classes of society. But I think the colorist just was really really lazy today and only used six colors.

In the last panel, Les’ massive hand couldn’t really be attached to either shoulder as drawn. Instead it seems to extend directly from his crotch, pointing upward. A huge, disgusting, awards erection.

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The Power of Negative Thinking.

Link to Today’s Comic.

Wow, this is the exact same philosophy my dad takes with sports. He will run his favorite team down and ‘bet’ on the worst outcomes all secretly in the hopes that this ‘anti-jinxing’ will tip the odds in his favor. It’s kind of endearing when my dad does it, because my dad isn’t an asshole.

Give Cayla points on being well aware of the weird, facetiously self-deprecating, magical thinking of her husband. She knows what a smug depressive he is, and so far she’s stayed with him anyway. Maybe she has some kind of really fringe sadomasochistic fetish about being with an insufferable twat.

Crazy Harry’s opera glasses are an interesting touch. The art yesterday didn’t seem to indicate the room was that massive, so Harry must be blind as a bat.

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Wry or Twee? That is the Question.

Link to Today’s Comic.

Today’s strip was also not available for preview, but if it isn’t an painfully unfunny normie vs nerd joke I’ll be very surprised.

Beckoning Chasm had an interesting thought yesterday, that I wanted to examine further and get your opinion on:

“Two years ago, I would have bet money that Les would lose the award to something obviously lightweight and brainless (and popular). It would give Les a chance to bemoan how works of depth and subtlety are never rewarded for their excellence.

Now that the strip has gone full-on wish-fulfillment, I honestly would not be surprised to see him win.”

This strip used to be an endless parade of failure, but in the last few years it has more unwarranted rewards than Judge Parker, with a few medical issues tossed in now and then to remain ‘topical’. So what does the StuckFunky Commentatorverse think? Does Dead St. Lisa get the prize?

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Ghosts of Strips Prescient.

Link to Today’s Comic.

And BOOM we’re there! Like TommyBats had suddenly remembered he didn’t have a Comic Con angle this year and so last-minute pulled this out of his self-aggrandizing ass.

As some of you may know, the Stuck Funky writer’s bullpen have no ability to preview Sunday strips. So, may I say, that I predicted today’s strip on Thursday nearly perfectly, and many commenters also guessed the Women-Be-Shopping angle.

And what kind of nonsense is that last panel? Long boxes? People buying and selling comic books? SDCC is dominated by the synergistic interests of megaconglomerates like Disney/Marvel/Fox/Lucasfilm and AT&T/Warner Bros/DC Comics. It’s a pop culture trade show, with booth after corporate booth, trying to generate buzz on the newest Netflix TV Show, Marvel Movie, Video Game, or Cartoon in order to increase stock prices based on predicted reception of a new release. It’s the nerd equivalent of wandering through the Varied Industries building at the State Fair, while people try to sell you hot tubs, massage chairs, and seamless gutters.

You want a folksy but crowded ‘farmer’s market’ of genuine nerds pursuing private enterprise? Don’t go to San Diego.

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