Tag Archives: Batiukmobile®

by | November 9, 2018 · 10:30 pm

Here Come Old Flattop

Charles
November 7, 2018 at 8:36 pm
You mention Buddy’s mismatched legs, but failed to mention the ridiculous strap that’s chafing him just below his anus. When he’s not shitting on it he’d no doubt be dragging his ass along the ground because of its itchiness. There is no dog vest or harness in the world that fits like that.

I’m giving that comment from Charles a bump, because it’s funny, because we see that awkward strap again in today’s strip, and, well, because there’s really not a whole lot else to comment on. Either Wally gave up driving following that road rage incident back in ’09, or, with both working at Montoni’s, these two can only afford one car.

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by | August 18, 2018 · 10:39 pm

Going With The Flow

Link To Today’s Strip

Another rather listless outing, but on the plus side they’ve finally picked up Holly’s mom, which means this arc is at least half (or maybe a quarter) over. Hey, I’m just trying to find the any upside here. On the downside, just think of all the airplane bathroom gags he passed on here. So many missed opportunities.

Sweet merciful Ohio, what a miserable two weeks, eh? It flew by like bunion surgery it did. Stay tuned for the return of billytheskink beginning tomorrow, let’s all hope the BanMan “skips ahead” to something a tad more, uh, “interesting”, like the looming band reunion or maybe the looming wedding. Ah, who am I kidding? It’s gonna be comic books and we all damn well know it.

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by | August 17, 2018 · 10:28 pm

Depends What The Meaning Of “There” Is

Link To Today’s Trudge

Bah, it’s the most tired “long car ride” gag of all-time, a joke that was tiresome back in the 1920s, which means it’s right in BatNard’s wheelhouse. No Holly, you’re obviously not “there” yet and believe me, we ALL wish you were. I certainly hope he’s not doing another week featuring the ride back to Ohio, as based on these gags he’s already totally out of “car trip” material, but then again I wouldn’t put it past the sick bastard either.

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by | August 16, 2018 · 10:31 pm

That’s STEP Significant-Other-In-Law To You, Fat Man

Link To Today’s Strip

Nice to see BatLoaf slowing things down a bit today and letting us know that he’s in no rush at all to marry Cory and Roxanne anytime soon. Hey, 2023 is going to need a highlight too, ya know.  As usual, BatWad is apparently plumb out of dialog already and resorting to desperate babble, which is sort of harrowingly accurate when you really think about the scenario here. But I digress.

Perhaps this will mark a new direction for the strip. “A reality-based comic strip that depicts unbelievably mundane issues in a yawn-provoking and tedious manner”. Oh, wait. Never mind. 

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by | August 15, 2018 · 10:31 pm

It’s The Little Differences

Link To Today’s Fascinating Installment

Good ol’ McArnolds, known for Arnold McArnold, the Beef Thief, Mayor O’ Patty and of course Sneer, the big purple one. “I will have a One-Fourther with cheese, a Sea-O-Sandwich, some Belgian fries and a box of McArnoldland cookies, please”. Over ten billion bored witless. The “soda” vs. “pop” gag was pretty funny the first ten thousand times I heard it so the impact is somewhat dulled here for me, although it’ll surely resonate with the new (guffaw) generation of FW readers who didn’t read “Archie” back in the early 1970s like I did.

Wouldn’t it be nice to be as easily amused as Holly is? “WOW, the f*cking fire hydrants are painted YELLOW here!”…”The power lines are…are…they’re UNDERGROUND, man!”…”I can’t BELIEVE that place just sold me three handguns!!”…but alas, I’m from New Jersey thus way too cynical and jaded to be impressed by these trivial cultural differences. Just wait until they arrive in Florida and order themselves a cup of brown sugar bubble water with frozen water chunks and a sipping tube.

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by | August 14, 2018 · 10:31 pm

Videocracy

Link To Today’s Thing

Yet another cutting and timely observation about This Darned Technology Today, courtesy of the BanMan, who’s never more than five or ten years behind these “modern trends”. What a lifeless, listless outing. What’s next, a gag about unreliable GPS directions? Or that annoying warning sound your car makes when the seat belt isn’t buckled?

I assume that’s Morty driving in Funky’s sepia-toned flashback, for what it’s worth. This joke is so generic it’s almost impossible to think of anything to say about it aside from the usual generic snark. It sucks, it’s boring, it’s stupid and etc. Thus far this car trip to Florida is every bit as tedious as we all assumed it’d be. Where the hell is Cell Phone Girl when we really need her?

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by | August 13, 2018 · 10:31 pm

Driving Miss La(zzzzzzzzz)

Link To Today’s Installment

Did you ever attempt to explain a FW story arc to a non-FW reader? “Well, these two characters are driving from Ohio to Florida to pick up the one character’s mother so they can bring her to a Big Alumni Band Reunion and today the one character falls asleep in the car”. Then you get the “look” every FW reader gets when they try to explain the strip to those who’ve never dipped their toes in Batiuk’s tepid pool of failure and apathy. It’s very similar to today’s panel three.

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