“When I had to close my business, business really picked up!”. The dialogue in this strip is so often very very awkward. It’s funny, just three days ago he was talking about the financial stresses he was under, and now he’s talking about how much business they had. It’s almost like whoever writes this doesn’t care much about continuity.
It’s funny, the last line is surely meant to be very dramatic, but given the context and history of this strip it’s way more likely that Batiuk is just talking about how Funky likes to cosplay.
Tag Archives: Batiukmobile®
One Long Boring Day at a Time
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Park Your Carcass(es)
I’m pretty sure a sales fundraiser in which you wind up with a garage full of unsold merch is kind of a bust, no? What exactly is Classic Dinkle’s plan here in panel 1? Even if a polar vortex were to descend on Westview tonight, and linger through Christmas and New Year’s, no poultry (especially organic) would still remain edible. Those “Sam ‘n’ Ella’s” turkeys would soon be living up to their name. If “next year” means “next Thanksgiving,” then the premise becomes even more absurd.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Pizza Forfeiture
The ICE agent snacking on the pizza represents the cold soulless hand of an unfeeling bureaucracy and so forth. Sigh. Obviously Adeela needs to get in touch with The Gang in order to straighten this unfortunate kerfuffle out, but her phone is bricked, so I dunno. It’d be way funnier if they really did ship her off to Iraq on the 8:15 out of Columbus but I seriously doubt she’s going anywhere except (sigh) back to Montoni’s, where she’ll make some sort of weakly wry quip about how she’s still better off in Westview.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Supermarket Sweep
Computers…can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em. The “facial recognition software” at the supermarket (!) targeted poor, poor Adeela, who apparently looks JUST LIKE the OTHER Adeela in Westview and yadda yadda yadda “we’re just doing our jobs as dispassionately as possible” and so forth. So it’s off to the Westview House Of Detention, which I imagine looks just like the Mayberry jail, only with comic books and pizza. Crappy comic books and cold pizza, natch.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
You Should Never Have Opened That Door
And today the pace hits absolute zero. Something HAS to “happen” now, as we’re at peak entropy (Batiuktropy). The laws of comic strip physics simply will not allow BatTrudge to drag this scenario out any further.
Coming tomorrow: a rare Sunday single panel strip featuring an Adeela silhouette saying “hello?”.
Monday: “Hello?”
Tuesday: “Hmmm. There doesn’t seem to be anyone here. It’s dark and scary. I will proceed further.”
Wednesday: ICE agent silently watches.
Thursday: ICE agent: “Hold tight, team, she’s almost….”.
Friday: “HOLD IT RIGHT THERE SCUMBAG!”
Saturday: shocked Adeela.
Sunday: “What is this that is happening to me?”
Prove me wrong, Mr. Pulitzer Nominee sir, prove me wrong.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
The Night The Lights Went Out In Westview
It’s like that scene in “Goodfellas” near the end where Jimmy tries to lure Karen into a shady storefront under the pretense of giving her boosted clothes so he can presumably kill her. Only way dumber and with terrible dialog. And pizza. I mean didn’t Adeela grow up in the most dangerous country in the world? Surely she’s not dumb enough to fall for THIS old gag…is she?
And why do the cops need to set up this elaborate ruse to ensnare Adeela in the first place? Couldn’t they have just raided Montoni’s, busted the place up, tased her and dragged her away? I mean look at her, she’s pretty much a female Funky in a hijab, it’s not like she’s going to run away or get very far if she does. But here they are, setting up a whole pizza sting operation, complete with tails and fake storefronts. What was the plan if Cory or Our Other Delivery Guy showed up? The plot holes are more like gaping plot maws now, creating their own inexorable story-sucking gravity and swallowing all common sense and plausibility.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Suspense…(sigh)…Builds
Good Lord. No one else tells stories like this. No one else has ever even considered it, in fact. He telegraphs exactly what’s going to happen days in advance then takes for-f*cking-ever to get there. If she just says “hmmm, looks empty, I’d better call them” in the first panel the story is suddenly going three times faster. But our pal BatHak simply doesn’t do things that way. If he ever made a movie it’d be thirty hours long AFTER editing.
And it’s not like we’re gaining any insight about the character here, as she’s just thinking out loud for some reason. Those word balloons really should be thought bubbles.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Deep (Dish) Cover
“Adeela exited Montoni’s carrying a pizza for delivery. She walked through Montoni’s front door toward the delivery car. The car had a Montoni’s decal on the door. Adeela opened the door and placed the pizza inside the delivery car. The ICE agent watched from the shadows. He used his phone to alert the other agent about Adeela’s departure.”
Right there, that explains the lack of Pulitzers. Once again BatNard has written a story that consists entirely of plot holes. Oh, and padding…a shit-ton of padding. They can’t just go and arrest Adeela, they have to go through a whole logic and continuity-defying process first, for no other reason than to make the goddamned story longer. Remember, this is Adeela’s very first delivery, thus the ICE agent either a) got really lucky, b) bugged Montoni’s or c) has a mole on the inside. Maybe Rocky finked Adeela out in an attempt to get more screen time.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
