Tag Archives: Montoni's

by | August 9, 2018 · 10:31 pm

Double Cheese And Matrimony

Link To Today’s Strip

Montoni’s…the wedding venue of choice for couples who just don’t really give a f*ck anymore. A “99% success rate”??? So Montoni’s has hosted 100 weddings and only one of those unholy unions failed? THAT seems unlikely. As difficult as this is to believe right now I’m actually hoping they get back to the Big Alumni Reunion Band thing or whatever it was, as at least that wasn’t entirely predictable. I like how Rocky still has absolutely nothing to say and no input to offer regarding her own wedding, which would be wildly unrealistic in any other setting but makes perfect sense in the Funkyverse. Obviously she saw her inevitable future and gave up long ago, much like TomHack’s readership did back in ’84.

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by | May 15, 2018 · 10:30 pm

Flying Fickle Finger of Fat

Link to today’s strip.

I wasn’t around, in Funky Winkerbean terms, when “Darrin Opens A Letter” famously played.  As such, I’ve only seen it in the archives here–everything at one go, rather than stretched out over days.

The pacing there seems positively riveting and action-packed compared with what we’re presented with now.  Yes–Funky is going to take an entire week to send a text message.

In fairness, unlike the Darrin story, this one at least doesn’t involve Les or Lisa in any way.  That puts it about 50 points ahead.   Just like the Darrin story, though, this one lacks anything resembling a punchline, or humor of any kind.  Par for the course these days.

 

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by | May 14, 2018 · 10:30 pm

Speech to Text

Link to today’s strip.

The signs are in; this is going to be a s-l-o-o-o-w week.  Today we have another sit-com level gag, although I think even the laugh-track would refuse to perform for this one.

I can see how this one was constructed–Holly’s last line is supposed to be the punchline, and Batiuk just worked backward from there (assuming I can use the word “worked”).  But Funky’s dialogue in panel one, and particularly the emphasized word “you” seems to imply that Funky’s the one doing all the texting, while Holly’s riposte–again with “you” emphasized–implies that she’s been doing all the texting.  Which is it?

I mean, if you cannot establish a simple premise (who does all the texting) in a single comic strip without stepping all over said premise, well, then it’s no wonder continuity, character and history are such a tangled, unaddressed mess in this strip.

I do appreciate the attempt at humor, though.  It’s not funny, but the fact that there’s a joke lurking in here is at least an improvement worth acknowledging.

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by | May 1, 2018 · 1:05 am

Don’t Eat the ‘Magical’ ‘Pepperoni’.

Today’s strip is finally up.

“Waterlogged comics! Mixed with moldy discarded pizza toppings! And mildew! That’s our hero.”

Darin stares blankly at Pete.

“It emerges from the basement: a sentient mass in the vague shape of a man, but grotesque and lumpy. An abomination of pulped paper, and smeared three-color inks, held together by black mold and marinara.”

Darin doesn’t speak.

“But there’s this beautiful woman, see and she is entranced by his doughy nature, his strange charms. Even though they can’t be together in a traditional sense, she is willing to do anything, try anything, to feel in every cell of her being the deeper spiritual connection pulsing between the flawless woman and the eldritch Comicmuck Thing! All in a homage to Swamp Thing 34! You know, Alan Moore? Rite of Spring?”

Darin reluctantly puts his pencil to paper… “Okay Pete, if you’re sure you’re okay with us using your love life that way.”

 

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by | February 18, 2018 · 12:40 am

Shadowy Agenda

Link to Today’s Strip.

Someone decided to rip of Frank Miller in exactly one panel today.

Actually the art on looks pretty good, bravo to the colorist for the gradient shades on Chester’s bald head. And you can actually tell that it is supposed to be a Hulk poster in the background. Much better than the weeklies. If you look at Saturday we have a brown Green Arrow, and a nearly black Spider Man. I know that there is a black Spider Man now, but I don’t think he’s gone for a suit the same shade as his skin.

In one entire week of strips, we’ve learned exactly HALF of why Chester is here. I’m guessing that at the end of next week we will finally learn why he wants to contact Mopey Pete.

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by | February 11, 2018 · 11:00 pm

Stairs Going Nowhere.

Comic Book Harriet here! And judging by this strip, I’m a very appropriate commentator for the coming week. I want to give kudos to poor Billy for last week’s run. He was dealt a terrible set of strips, and he was able to provide valuable context into just how freakin’ long Batiuk has been using ‘Dinkle Types His Stupid Book’ as a lazy repository for all bad band puns.

I’m sure that Tommy Boy thinks that he’s cleverly building up suspense here. Ooooooh he’s not letting us see the person who is so excited to be finding the Komix Korner for the first time! Who could it be? What drama will it lead to? Is it the long lost Afghani parents of Becky the One-Armed-Wonder and Dead Skunk Hair’s adopted step-daughter Rana? Who have just tracked the..bwahahahah… I can’t even finish that without laughing. Because Rana was dropped down the memory hole YEARS ago!

We do have to wonder why anyone ever, in the history of time, would have gone on an interet mission looking for Komix Korner.

Debt collectors.

It’s gotta be debt collectors.

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by | November 8, 2017 · 10:30 pm

A Special Denouncement

It’s about time! I was wondering if we’d ever get there, but today’s strip finally gives us the call back to John Darling we’ve been expecting. Yes, Phil is terrible at his (former) job, just like he was back in 1979. Back then, making fun of the local weather forecaster was a comedy trend surpassed only by making fun of Billy Carter…

JD7-30-79
This strip appeared opposite an ad imploring you to come test drive the all-new Chevrolet Citation…

Oh, for Pete’s sake!

I remain baffled by the pie case at Montoni’s. Who eats pie there?
That’s a rhetorical question of course, nobody eats anything at Montoni’s. Not even Crazy, who is only ever seen there sipping a bottomless coffee or soda and avoiding his job. But still, what’s with the pie case?

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