Tag Archives: Montoni's

Ramping Up

In today’s strip, Wally finally gets around to memorializing his daughter Rana’s (R for Rana) gravesite, her having been buried underneath the Montoni’s sidewalk after she died of Ultra Breast Cancer she caught as a child from a landmine in Afghanistan. This all happened off-panel a few years back when Funky was shown working out in the gym. You can tell how moved Wally is by the thought of his late daughter since his face is literally melting off from sadness.

That is probably not what’s happening here, but gosh, what if Batiuk had used the time he wasted this week on exploring Wally’s relationship with his daughter, rather than his relationship with the sidewalk?

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Tearing Up the Street

In today’s strip, Wally and his tube of toothpaste (he apparently waits until he’s at work to brush his teeth) walk by a construction worker. I wonder if it was Batiuk or Ayers who got really excited at the thought of being able to draw a jackhammer, because clearly someone put a lot of effort into that, and overlooked other things, like how the paint from Wally’s sign is somehow bleeding off the sign onto the curtains of the restaurant. I have a feeling that sign is now going to be shoehorned into every strip possible. It’s the new Becky’s Pinned-Up Sleeve.

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Bricks and Shoelaces

In today’s strip, Wally stops to make sure he’s tied his shoes. Or he is stopping to think about what he’s supposed to do when he reaches the street. Or he’s freaking out because he thinks there’s a landmine buried in the street in front of him. Or he’s pausing dramatically just in time for Montoni’s to explode after Becky’s mom planted a bomb because of Wally’s sign. Or who the heck knows, because this is such a bad strip.

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The Batiukverse National Anthem

Link To Today’s Strip

Wally plays a song on a jukebox and then mops. That’s all there is to today’s strip. I seriously don’t get how anyone involved in the creation of this thought this was worthwhile. The only possible thing I can think is that somehow Batiuk thinks Wally Winkerbean is such a beloved character that readers are eager to soak up every little bit of his life they can, even if it’s not remotely funny or interesting. Which is so bizarre.

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I Wish Funky Winkerbean Folded

So, Funky was determined to know who the Pizza Monster was, so he got John to hire someone to hold the Pizza Monster at literal gunpoint? Is John somehow Westview’s version of the veterinarian on Better Call Saul? Did John just go with the first person he knew who owned guns and was willing to commit a felony for Komix Korner store credit?
Oh, and the “joke” of this strip is beyond nauseating. Apparently, there is no such thing as a geek woman. Given that Batiuk has posted super creepy pictures of female cosplayers bending over on his own blog, you’d think he’d know better. But I kind of have the feeling he’s the kind of man who doesn’t think women or girls can be “real geeks”. I would love to forward this strip to Noelle Stevenson, Kelly Sue DeConnick, Amanda Conner, Gail Simone, Fiona Staples, Louise Simonson, Ann Nocenti, Rachel Dodson, Jo Duffy, Babs Tarr, or any of the other women in comics who have had much more successful careers than Batiuk.

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That Brown Mush on the Plate is Disturbing

Haha, can you imagine? An actual(?) superhero man is petrified just at the thought of being near a woman! Hilarious! Can you imagine if maybe an actual superhero was a woman, and not just this evil supervillain(?) Pizza Monster? The entire multiverse would collapse! They’d have to invent new words like “superheroine”, probably! Ha, total fear just from being near someone who merely suggests they might be a woman, truly this is the epitome of hilarity and quarter-inch from reality writing.

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Unmanned

So I guess some guy dressed as Mr. Monster (who is actually a character not created by Tom Batiuk, so I do feel bad now about making fun of, but really, if you’re doing a “tip of the felt tip” to another artist, maybe don’t do it super tiny in between the panels of a daily strip?) really did just bust into a crowded (ha) restaurant and pull what sure look like two real guns on somebody, just because they’re dressed up in pizza boxes? Just to find out their identity? And this is supposed to be funny? Wouldn’t it have been easier, and safer, if Funky and Harry and just pulled out bats and started beating the Pizza Monster, or maybe set the boxes on fire so the Monster would have to remove them? That seems much simpler than arranging for someone to hold somebody at gunpoint in the middle of your restaurant.
Putting aside the “haha, he never thought it could be a woman” angle, which is weird since Funky also referred to the Pizza Monster as a he earlier in the week, shouldn’t it be obvious who the Pizza Monster is, just based on the voice? Only like five people, at most, are ever shown eating in Montoni’s anymore, and it would be very weird (although much creepier) if this was just some random person with no ties at all to Montoni’s. Or is there a voice changer under the pizza boxes (that also have no eye holes, but that’s another issue)?

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Mr. Lame

Mr. Monster“? And he’s just a guy in a goofy looking spaceman outfit, and nothing remotely monster themed? Batiuk is really scraping the bottom of the barrel with his fictional superheroes here. Which probably means he’ll still have fifty more, before his strip finally ends. Each somehow worse than the last. I thought for sure this guy’s name was “McMonster”, which makes as much sense as “Mr. Monster”. Again, I can’t imagine how that would be at all legible in the newspaper.
Also, I don’t think Batiuk understands how to properly honor a beloved local tradition, or whatever he’s attempting to do with these “Pizza Monster” strips. Drawing attention to how silly it is is not the way to go.

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