Tag Archives: archive deep dive

Cranking It Up!

CBH at the helm for this one. And FIRST OF ALL.

We’ve reached the maximum busy season for farm work here in CBHville. Where we are trying to simultaneously finish planting beans, chop rye hay, spray weeds, apply fertilizer, care for cows, AND (most daunting of all) clean my parent’s basement for my sister’s family to arrive for Memorial Day.

I was feeling overwhelmed.

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Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

“I Think My Water Just Broke!”

Hello beady eyed nitpickers of all ages! I hope you’re all ready for this, because today, we reach the end of John Howard’s appearances in Act II of Funky Winkerbean. It’s December 2006, Lisa’s Story is in full swing, and as if impending cancer death wasn’t melodrama enough, Batiuk also has Becky Winkerbean heavily pregnant while her husband, Wally, is stationed in Iraq.

Why does Donna look so sinister in the last panel? Has she moved from scrapbooking to murder?

At this time Becky and Wally are the serfs inhabiting the apartment above Montoni’s. And let that sink in for a moment. That Wally Winkerbean moved into that apartment twice, with a different woman each time.

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Mother’s Little Helper

First and foremost! Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms, Grandmas, Aunts, and Female Mentors in our comments section. I hope that somebody spoiled each and every one of you today in the way you love best, whether that be your favorite food, a foot massage, a long Sunday nap, or an obnoxiously obsessive post about a defunct comic strip.

Whatever you did today, pretty good chance it was better than Rose Murdoch’s Mother’s Day back in in 2014.

I hate you, Mom. I hate you soooo much. I only let you live in my house so I can watch up close the misery and fear you feel as your mortal vessel crumbles around your poisonous spiteful soul.
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Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tribulations and Trials

DCH John Howard is charged with heinous comics crimes! CBH is on the case! I am highly qualified to provide legal commentary and counsel on this fictional court room drama. Below, a list of my qualifications.

1.) My friend is a lawyer.

2.) I have a working internet connection, and am not afraid of the CIA seeing my search history.

3.) My mom has 60% of the OJ Simpson Trial recorded on VHS.

4.) I once got two speeding tickets in one week.


Let me flash some of that sweet sweet knowledge!

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Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

In Defense of The Slimy Classics.

John Howard has been arrested for ANIME CRIMES!!!

Seen here! Artist’s rendition of the scene!
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Filed under Son of Stuck Funky