Tag Archives: Old dying people

by billytheskink | August 20, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Jumping’ Jack Flashback

Today’s strip was shot in Kodachrome… despite being set even further back in time than this past week’s sepia-toned historical revision. Really sets the mood for imagined fiery death, doesn’t it?

You would (not) be surprised at how often TB goes to the well for Holly’s Act I flaming baton trick. It wouldn’t shock me if it has appeared as a gag in Act III more often than it ever actually did in Act I. But hey, after this past week, I’ll take some Sunday Funky-Holly filler, even if it involves flaming batons.

And with that, I cede the podium to Comic Book Harriet, a master of both Batiukverse history and the entertaining anecdote. I expect we will enjoy a good bit of both from her in the coming weeks.

29 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as abuse of WHS property, Act I, Act I call-backs, Anon-O-Character, batons, beds, character death, curmudgeonly oldsters, death, dream, dream sequence, dreams, explosions, Fire, fire hazards, Flaming batons, flashback, flashback thought bubbles, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, Funky's house, high school, Holly, Jerome T. Bushka A&L Automotive Stadium, marching band, marching bands, Now Funky, Old dying people, onomatopoeia, pencil-neck geek, pointless Sunday strips, Sunday, Westview High School, WHS, WHS band, WHS Scapegoats

by billytheskink | August 13, 2022 · 10:30 pm

A Cat, a Pat, a B flat, and an old bat

Oh boy, more unwelcome guests in today’s strip… and also Bingo. Bingo can stay, he’s cool.

He’s also old and decrepit… because of course he is. What tremendous misfortune, to exist in the Batiukverse. Even the cats have to be old and sad and subject to awful wordplay about hi ps.

Hopefully Bingo will take his claws to the new choir robes in the back after these yutzes leave.

48 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Bingo, cat, cats, choir, choir loft, choir/organ, church, church choir, church ladies, church organ, curmudgeonly oldsters, Dinkle, Harry, Harry Dinkle, hatchet face, hip, lame wordplay, Lillian, Old Dinkle, Old dying people, old Harry Dinkle, Pat, Pun, punnery, puns, St. Spires

by billytheskink | August 11, 2022 · 10:30 pm

With a capital P and that rhymes with D and that stands for… uh…

The real star of yesterday’s strip finally gets top billing in today’s strip!

Like certain parts of the comics page we are too polite to mention here at Son of Stuck Funky, the old pool sits sadly: unused, unloved, overgrown, and falling apart. Unlike certain parts of the comics page we are too polite to mention here at Son of Stuck Funky, the old pool has actually been replaced.

Les is one to talk about “Summers* slipping away”…. At least Funky is willing to admit his memory lapses.

^{*It has been 43 days (and counting) since Summer’s most recent appearance in this strip. The three gaps prior to that were 145, 408, and 107 days.}

39 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as bearded dick with ears, chair jammed in a diving board ladder, chairs, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, curmudgeonly oldsters, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, ladder, ladders, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' back is turned take the shot take the shot, memory bubble, memory loss, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, nostalgia, Not Summer, Now Funky, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, Remembrence of Strips Past, smug inept bearded jerks, sport, sports, swimming, Tennis, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, tile

by billytheskink | August 10, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Burning Man

One bad turn deserves another, I suppose. Today’s strip sees Les take his revenge on Funky for two strips’ worth of Crankshaft schtick with some ‘Shaft-level quote muddle-ment of his own. Where did you pull this piece of unwisdom from, Les, I Chong?

The master says: Piles of excrement comes out of both ends of Les, but only one pile can can be flushed.

53 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as bearded dick with ears, chair jammed in a diving board ladder, curmudgeonly oldsters, dismal world view, Fire, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, general dickishness, hatchet face, headband, Inappropriate quotes, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' back is turned take the shot take the shot, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, morbidity, muppet profile, Now Funky, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, pickleball, sport, sports, swimming, Tennis, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, trees, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, useless old junk

by billytheskink | August 9, 2022 · 10:30 pm

I guess that’s why they call it refuse

Les continues to set Funky up for this tiresome Crankshaft schtick in today’s strip. Why? Why is he doing this? Is.. is he enjoying this? He’s even more monstrous than I thought!

The real story behind the name of pickleball is (not-widely) debated, though all of the purported origins clear the low bar of being more interesting than the one put forth in this strip. I’m surprised, actually, that pickleball has not caught on in Westview, given that it was invented by a guy* who died of cancer…

^{*apologies to the late Joel Pritchard}

36 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as bad hair, bench, crippling yet trivial injury, curmudgeonly oldsters, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, hatchet face, injuries, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, Montoni's T shirt, Now Funky, Old dying people, park bench, pickleball, really dumb questions, silhouette, silhouettes, sport, sports, Tennis, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, trees, very old gags, Willy

by billytheskink | August 8, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Dr. Schmoe’s

Did you know Funky is old and injured? He’s so old and injured, y’all… see today’s strip for reference if you don’t believe me. When did this happen? Funky being old and injured has NEVER been mentioned in this comic strip before…

Les, though? Les is probably YEARS away from qualifying for his own cancer run’s over 65 division even though he graduated high school the same year Funky did. Look at him, no orthotics of any kind. Heck, he doesn’t even bother putting a strap on his glasses to play tennis.

30 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as bench, crippling yet trivial injury, curmudgeonly oldsters, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, Funkys, injuries, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' back is turned take the shot take the shot, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, Montoni's T shirt, Now Funky, Old dying people, park bench, sport, sports, Tennis, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, trash can, trees

by billytheskink | May 20, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Off The Depend

Today’s strip is both stupid and gross. I have nothing else to say about it.

Here are some better comic strips, read them instead…

These puns that don’t infuriate me. Most puns don’t. TB truly has a gift…

40 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as awful wordplay, bad wordplay, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, Crazy, Crazy Harry, curmudgeonly oldsters, disembodied hand, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, Funkys, hip, Holly, I used to be cool, idiocy, isn't it ironic?, lame wordplay, misappropriated wordplay, Montoni's, Montoni's apron, moronic grins, Now Crazy Harry, Now Funky, old crap, Old dying people, pizza, really dumb questions, sad-sackery, sheer idiocy, Squick, stupid, sub-moronic wordplay, terrible wordplay, the inevitable ravages of age, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, the ravages of age, tiny hands, toilet humor, unnatural hand gestures, wordplay

by billytheskink | May 19, 2022 · 10:30 pm

It’s not even a proper hip. It’s polystyrene.

Today’s strip FINALLY gets to the point, if indirectly and dishonestly. Despite his protesting, Crazy doesn’t really want to be hip… He’s not sad that he doesn’t have the time or energy to keep up with what’s popular on the ~~radio~~ Spotify these days, he’s sad that listening to new music would require a modicum of effort from him. He’s sad because he has decided he wouldn’t enjoy listening to anything new even though he hasn’t even tried.

In short, he’s sad that what’s “hip” doesn’t conform to what he already likes.

Well if that isn’t this comic strip in a nutshell…

32 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as awful wordplay, bad wordplay, bitter resignation, bitterness, bricks, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, Crazy, Crazy Harry, curmudgeonly oldsters, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, Funkys, hatchet face, hip, I used to be cool, lame wordplay, misappropriated wordplay, Montoni's, neatly lettered signs, Now Crazy Harry, Now Funky, Old dying people, old useless junk, pathetic attempts at relevance, Pun, punnery, puns, sad-sackery, sub-moronic wordplay, terrible wordplay, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, wordplay

by billytheskink | May 18, 2022 · 10:30 pm

So your Haiku is stuck somewhere between Chipmunks and early Springsteen…

Hip hip hip hip hip
Today's strip more of the same
It just never ends

Chipmunks to Springsteen
Crazy's music tastes cover
'58-'80

Only now Crazy?
How hip did you feel during
The last 40 years?!

"You can become hip,
Just listen to new music"
- Captain Funkvious

Funky's bald advice
Somehow smartest thing in years
In this comic strip

Funky's silhouette
Recognizably human
Crazy's, not so much

Listening to this
No wonder no customers
Are at Montoni's

Make it stop make it
Stop make it stop make it stop
Make it stop oh please

54 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as age discrimination, Alvin and the Chipmunks, awful wordplay, bad wordplay, Bruce Springsteen, Crazy, Crazy Harry, crosshatching, curmudgeonly oldsters, endless tedium, flying music notes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, hatchet face, hip, lame wordplay, misappropriated wordplay, Montoni's, Montoni's apron, music, music in general, musica, Now Crazy Harry, Now Funky, Old dying people, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, pizza, silhouette, silhouettes, sub-moronic wordplay, terrible wordplay, the inevitable ravages of age, things that never end, tile, unnatural hand gestures, very old gags, wordplay

by billytheskink | May 17, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Quoth the unshaven “Anymore”

If today’s strip is to be believed, Crazy Harry is completely unaware of a genre of music that has been a major force in popular music for three-and-a-half decades now, and is arguably well into its second decade as the dominant genre of music in the United States. Where has Crazy been? Living under a rock (booooooooo!) since the Reagan administration?

Funky lives up to his name for once, brimming with mildly more modern musical knowledge than Crazy, the Act I gang’s resident music fan and audiophile dating back even to his early appearances. I guess he’s now not only channeling NASCAR legend Mark Martin’s haircut but also Martin’s unexpected rap music fandom.

54 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as awful wordplay, bad wordplay, Crazy, Crazy Harry, curmudgeonly oldsters, flying music notes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, groaner, hip, hip hop, I used to be cool, idiocy, jukebox, lame wordplay, Montoni's, Montoni's apron, music, Now Crazy Harry, Now Funky, Old dying people, Pun, punnery, puns, really dumb questions, sheer idiocy, sub-moronic wordplay, terrible wordplay, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, why?, wordplay

Tag Archives: Old dying people

Jumping’ Jack Flashback

A Cat, a Pat, a B flat, and an old bat

With a capital P and that rhymes with D and that stands for… uh…

Burning Man

I guess that’s why they call it refuse

Dr. Schmoe’s

Off The Depend

It’s not even a proper hip. It’s polystyrene.

So your Haiku is stuck somewhere between Chipmunks and early Springsteen…

Quoth the unshaven “Anymore”

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