Tag Archives: tags you never thought you’d use

by billytheskink | September 26, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Thoughts and Ayers

Hope you all enjoyed yesterday’s respite from the boringly toxic (or rather, toxically boring) Melinda-Holly relationship, because we’re back for (checks calendar) WEEK 3?! of it in today’s strip. Things between these two are so bad that Holly will ignore good advice that is widely known by nearly every adult who has ever engaged in athletic behavior just to spite her nagging mother.

This strip has everything! Needless exposition! Falling leaves! Absolutely nothing likable! References that would have been topical 3 decades ago! References to death! And more word and thought bubbles than you can shake a baton at!

48 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as alumni band, anger, band, band practice, batons, death, enraging hair strands, exposition, Falling leaves, fury, Holly, Holly's mom, Holly's mother whose name escapes me at the moment, Jane Fonda, leaves, Melinda, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, nostalgia, old crap, Old dying people, pissiness, references that were real topical a year ago, tags you never thought you'd use, terrible overacting, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, thought provocation, Westview HS Band, WHS band

by billytheskink | July 8, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Rag-snore-rok

Hey, we’re finally getting around to the reason behind Flash and Phil’s falling out in today’s strip and it’s… less than fascinating to say the least. Durwood, who asked Flash to elaborate on their split to kick this week off, appears to already know the answer to his own question anyways. So was the primary reason Durwood brought Phil up to Flash so he (and, by extension, TB) could humblebrag about selling Phil’s old comic book covers for the St. Lisa charity? I think that is a reasonable assumption.

I don’t know what to make of the fact that Flash is smiling as Durwood brings up the straw that broke the Holt-Freeman partnership camel’s back, so I won’t make anything of it much like how nothing has been made from this story arc’s rancid ingredients.

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Tagged as air travel, airplanes, Batom Comics, Batom's bizarre comic book fantasy world, chemtrails, Chester, Chester the Chiseler, Chester's intrigued face, comic books, comics, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, Darin, embarrassing errors a comics fan shouldn't make, Flash Freeman, insufferable assholes, Phil Holt, photo album corners, retcon corner thingies, Ruby, Ruby Lith, tags you never thought you'd use, terrible artwork, The Subterranean, weird noses, word zeppelins

by billytheskink | April 8, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Do you bereave in magic?

Can you believe it?
'Twas eleven years ago
That this site began

Let us all wish a
Happy anniversary
To SOSF!

Haiku all around!
It is how I celebrate things
I'm fun at parties

Now to Today's strip
Will DC send to TB
A cease and desist?

Young Batton enthralled
By Flash's famous power
Doing magic tricks?

Instead of the Flash
Batton imagines himself
In an audience

Batton's take away
From this famous Flash issue
Explains TB well

If Batton likes this
Doug Henning must be mind-blowing
Much less Copperfield

Thank you commenters
For the last eleven years
And what is to come

47 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as arcs where nothing happens, awful dialog, awful wordplay, Batton Thomas, boredom personified, comic book cover, Comic Book tribute, comic books, comics, complete lack of humor, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, death, dull stories, fat fingering, huge hands, inexplicably happy people, Komix Korner, lame wordplay, magic, orphans, rare sidewards weekday strips, tags you never thought you'd use, The Flash, tiny hands

by billytheskink | January 22, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Eye Do Not Care Anymore

Is Funky telling the truth in today’s strip? Last time we saw him get a physical was in early 2017, when he and Holly flew to Dallas (sure…) to visit a so-called “superclinic” (sure… again) for physicals. Well, Holly claimed it was an annual physical back then, so maybe the Winkerbeans’ annual January Dallas superclinic physical trip just recently happened. Not sure when that would have been, we’ve seen Funky and/or Holly every single week so far this month…

Oh wait, none of that matters. Nurse Scrunchie doesn’t care about Funky’s physical health, she just needs to know if he can afford to pay for his cataract surgery. What a scathing and original commentary on the American healthcare system! Groundbreaking stuff!

14 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as "jokes" that aren't really jokes at all, Anon-O-Character, anon-o-nurses, arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, Bad medical news, carrot cake, comma eyes, complaining, complete lack of humor, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, dull stories, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, gags that amuse only one person, gags that go on way too long, half-assed political commentary, hatchet face, manila folder, medical professionals, Now Funky, Nurse Greenhair, old gags from the 1970's, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, scrunchie, tags you never thought you'd use, unnatural hand gestures, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs, very old gags

by billytheskink | October 21, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Getting the runaround

Did you know President Bill Clinton likes to jog? I sure didn’t, at least not until today’s strip… and when I say “today’s strip”, I mean “when he was first elected President”. Does TB think calling him “President Clinton” is not enough of an identifier for readers or did he just recently start watching a DVD box set of 1990s Saturday Night Live episodes?

What’s with all the Eeyores in the first panel? Funky just dialed up BILL CLINTON on a whim, got the former POTUS to answer directly, and was told by the man himself that he would help. Why is Rachel even questioning this?

Better yet, why am I questioning this? Any of this? It’s been a fool’s errand for decades.

48 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as 1/4 inch from reality, Adeela, Amicus Breef, An idiocy of Winkerbeans, cell phones, cellphone, delusional fantasies, deportation, enraging hair strands, exercise, Falling leaves, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, half-assed political commentary, Holly, hoodie, how things are NEVER done, immigration, leaves, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, melting faces, mistaken identity, Montoni's, Montoni's logo, Montoni's T shirt, not how the world works, Now Funky, President Clinton, Rachel, sad-sackery, sheer idiocy, stupid, tags you never thought you'd use, technology, terrible artwork, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, this is all a horrible mistake, Wally, you have got to be f-ing kidding me

by billytheskink | October 19, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Hey I once met you, and this is crazy… but here’s my number, so call me, Funky.

Holly’s persistence pays off in today’s strip… or does it?

Yes, the 27 (or 37) year old phone number for President Clinton that Funky has still works, and his call has been received by a cell phone that recognizes Funky’s personal cell phone as Montoni’s! It must be the same brand as Wally’s magic Adeela-recognizing phone. But the man answering it, unfortunately, is not the former President.

Look, I dunno if this guy is Durwood 40 years in the future or maybe James Woods after a horrible accident involving a beaker or two of acid or the world’s most embarrassing caricature of the late Jerry Orbach or if Ayers just forgot what Flash Freeman looks like… but I do know he’s not Bill Clinton.

55 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as 1/4 inch from reality, Amicus Breef, An idiocy of Winkerbeans, cell phones, cellphone, enraging hair strands, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, half-assed political commentary, Holly, how things are NEVER done, huge hands, Montoni's, not how the world works, Now Funky, Ohio, President Clinton, Rachel, sheer idiocy, stupid, tags you never thought you'd use, technology, telephone transactions, terrible artwork, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, unneccessarily long arcs, Wally, you have got to be f-ing kidding me

by billytheskink | July 20, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Thought-Les

Les, the humorless shmuck, humorless shmucks around in today’s strip.

Nothing – not cancer, not Hollywood, not even the students he loathes so much – seems to disturb and anger Les more (oy, sorry) than people laughing at him over something utterly trivial. Funky and Crazy found this out the hard way 9 years ago, in the infamous “Children left behind” strip. Despite what they are doing in Les’ imagination, I doubt they would be bold enough to so much as chuckle anywhere within earshot of Les again.

Is this how TB’s family and friends reacted to his recurring role as “Art Professor” (I think that is both his name and his profession) in the ongoing live-action saga of The Cardinal, the greatest comic superhero around who dresses like the Iowa State University mascot?

Yeah it probably is. Also, Les himself exists in The Cardinal live-action universe. *shudder*

34 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as cancer films, Cayla, Crazy, Crazy Harry, Dead Skunk Head, DSH John, Funky, Funky Cayla, Funky Winkerbean, hatchet face, Hollywood, jerkwads, Jim Kablichnick, Jim Kablichnik, John, Kent State, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, MasoLes, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, Mason's Nose, movies, Now Crazy Harry, popcorn, smirk, smug inept bearded jerks, soundstage, Summer, tags you never thought you'd use, thought provocation, wig

by billytheskink | July 19, 2020 · 1:25 am

Secrets, Lies and Errors

What fresh awfulness do we have in today’s strip? Oh, just the latest reminder that Lisa’s Story is all about Les… and that anything written or filmed about Les isn’t worth the paper or celluloid it is recorded on.

This is who Mason considers “a real hero”? Someone who apparently told the accomplished and successful actress Marianne Winters to her face that she wasn’t good enough for the role of Lisa? Someone whose advice to her on playing the role of his late wife in a scene where she is preparing to have a biopsy to confirm a probable cancer diagnosis is to think more about HIM?

Les Moore is monstrous cad and in a just Batiukverse he would have been thrown off of a railroad trestle years ago by one of a long list of suspects too long to investigate and whom no jury would convict even if caught.

34 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as bench, cancer films, disgust, Hollywood, how things are NEVER done, inside lingo, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Lisa, Lisa's Story, Marianne, Marianne Winters, MariLisa, Martin Johns, MasoLes, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, movies, not how movies are made, park bench, sad-sackery, silhouette, smug inept bearded jerks, soundstage, Squick, tags you never thought you'd use, wig

by billytheskink | April 9, 2020 · 11:15 pm

Buck off

Today’s strip seems almost tame after yesterday’s turn of events, but still… Yes! To think, we all called Pete the creepy one.

Everything about this continues to be bizarre and off-putting. Why is Linda apparently conflicted about backing away from Buck’s advance? Heck, why is Buck making these advances to begin with? I mean, sure, he talked to Linda a bit when he came to visit Bull but… that’s just it, he came to visit BULL. Prior to Bull’s death, he spent 95% of his time at the Bushka house with Bull. Even when he was talking to Linda, they talked about Bull!

We know nothing about Buck other than that he played high school football and that he was miraculously diagnosed with CTE. Did he have a career? Prior relationships? Family? Friends? We have no context for this behavior, which means TB has painted himself into a corner without a way to make Buck come across as anything but gross and way out of line.

38 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Batiukmobile®, Buck, Buck Bedlow, characters everyone hates, creepiness, creepy, CTE, disgust, impending doom, Inappropriate quotes, Linda, Linda Bushka, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, sad-sackery, Squick, tags you never thought you'd use, tiny hands, very long arcs, very old gags

by billytheskink | April 8, 2020 · 11:15 pm

Haika not believe this

Oh really, TB?
You are really going there
here in today’s strip?

I was just joking
About Buck hitting on her
But you’re doing it!

There’s no other way
No other way to read this
What is wrong with you?!

This is just awful
Gross disgusting terrible
On every level

And poor Lord Byron
Really does not deserve this
Rolling in his grave

It’s an awful month
COVID-19’s bad enough
Now this on my mind

_______________________________

Happy belated
10 year anniversary
Son Of Stuck Funky

47 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as anniversary, Batiukmobile®, Buck, Buck Bedlow, CTE, disgust, lame wordplay, Linda, Linda Bushka, lost cause, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, poetry, sloppy use of tape, Squick, tags you never thought you'd use, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, very old gags

Tag Archives: tags you never thought you’d use

Thoughts and Ayers

Rag-snore-rok

Do you bereave in magic?

Eye Do Not Care Anymore

Getting the runaround

Hey I once met you, and this is crazy… but here’s my number, so call me, Funky.

Thought-Les

Secrets, Lies and Errors

Buck off

Haika not believe this

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