Tag Archives: tags you never thought you’d use

by billytheskink | January 22, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Eye Do Not Care Anymore

Is Funky telling the truth in today’s strip? Last time we saw him get a physical was in early 2017, when he and Holly flew to Dallas (sure…) to visit a so-called “superclinic” (sure… again) for physicals. Well, Holly claimed it was an annual physical back then, so maybe the Winkerbeans’ annual January Dallas superclinic physical trip just recently happened. Not sure when that would have been, we’ve seen Funky and/or Holly every single week so far this month…

Oh wait, none of that matters. Nurse Scrunchie doesn’t care about Funky’s physical health, she just needs to know if he can afford to pay for his cataract surgery. What a scathing and original commentary on the American healthcare system! Groundbreaking stuff!

14 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as "jokes" that aren't really jokes at all, Anon-O-Character, anon-o-nurses, arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, Bad medical news, carrot cake, comma eyes, complaining, complete lack of humor, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, dull stories, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, gags that amuse only one person, gags that go on way too long, half-assed political commentary, hatchet face, manila folder, medical professionals, Now Funky, Nurse Greenhair, old gags from the 1970's, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, scrunchie, tags you never thought you'd use, unnatural hand gestures, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs, very old gags

by billytheskink | October 21, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Getting the runaround

Did you know President Bill Clinton likes to jog? I sure didn’t, at least not until today’s strip… and when I say “today’s strip”, I mean “when he was first elected President”. Does TB think calling him “President Clinton” is not enough of an identifier for readers or did he just recently start watching a DVD box set of 1990s Saturday Night Live episodes?

What’s with all the Eeyores in the first panel? Funky just dialed up BILL CLINTON on a whim, got the former POTUS to answer directly, and was told by the man himself that he would help. Why is Rachel even questioning this?

Better yet, why am I questioning this? Any of this? It’s been a fool’s errand for decades.

48 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as 1/4 inch from reality, Adeela, Amicus Breef, An idiocy of Winkerbeans, cell phones, cellphone, delusional fantasies, deportation, enraging hair strands, exercise, Falling leaves, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, half-assed political commentary, Holly, hoodie, how things are NEVER done, immigration, leaves, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, melting faces, mistaken identity, Montoni's, Montoni's logo, Montoni's T shirt, not how the world works, Now Funky, President Clinton, Rachel, sad-sackery, sheer idiocy, stupid, tags you never thought you'd use, technology, terrible artwork, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, this is all a horrible mistake, Wally, you have got to be f-ing kidding me

by billytheskink | October 19, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Hey I once met you, and this is crazy… but here’s my number, so call me, Funky.

Holly’s persistence pays off in today’s strip… or does it?

Yes, the 27 (or 37) year old phone number for President Clinton that Funky has still works, and his call has been received by a cell phone that recognizes Funky’s personal cell phone as Montoni’s! It must be the same brand as Wally’s magic Adeela-recognizing phone. But the man answering it, unfortunately, is not the former President.

Look, I dunno if this guy is Durwood 40 years in the future or maybe James Woods after a horrible accident involving a beaker or two of acid or the world’s most embarrassing caricature of the late Jerry Orbach or if Ayers just forgot what Flash Freeman looks like… but I do know he’s not Bill Clinton.

55 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as 1/4 inch from reality, Amicus Breef, An idiocy of Winkerbeans, cell phones, cellphone, enraging hair strands, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, half-assed political commentary, Holly, how things are NEVER done, huge hands, Montoni's, not how the world works, Now Funky, Ohio, President Clinton, Rachel, sheer idiocy, stupid, tags you never thought you'd use, technology, telephone transactions, terrible artwork, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, unneccessarily long arcs, Wally, you have got to be f-ing kidding me

by billytheskink | July 20, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Thought-Les

Les, the humorless shmuck, humorless shmucks around in today’s strip.

Nothing – not cancer, not Hollywood, not even the students he loathes so much – seems to disturb and anger Les more (oy, sorry) than people laughing at him over something utterly trivial. Funky and Crazy found this out the hard way 9 years ago, in the infamous “Children left behind” strip. Despite what they are doing in Les’ imagination, I doubt they would be bold enough to so much as chuckle anywhere within earshot of Les again.

Is this how TB’s family and friends reacted to his recurring role as “Art Professor” (I think that is both his name and his profession) in the ongoing live-action saga of The Cardinal, the greatest comic superhero around who dresses like the Iowa State University mascot?

Yeah it probably is. Also, Les himself exists in The Cardinal live-action universe. *shudder*

34 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as cancer films, Cayla, Crazy, Crazy Harry, Dead Skunk Head, DSH John, Funky, Funky Cayla, Funky Winkerbean, hatchet face, Hollywood, jerkwads, Jim Kablichnick, Jim Kablichnik, John, Kent State, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, MasoLes, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, Mason's Nose, movies, Now Crazy Harry, popcorn, smirk, smug inept bearded jerks, soundstage, Summer, tags you never thought you'd use, thought provocation, wig

by billytheskink | July 19, 2020 · 1:25 am

Secrets, Lies and Errors

What fresh awfulness do we have in today’s strip? Oh, just the latest reminder that Lisa’s Story is all about Les… and that anything written or filmed about Les isn’t worth the paper or celluloid it is recorded on.

This is who Mason considers “a real hero”? Someone who apparently told the accomplished and successful actress Marianne Winters to her face that she wasn’t good enough for the role of Lisa? Someone whose advice to her on playing the role of his late wife in a scene where she is preparing to have a biopsy to confirm a probable cancer diagnosis is to think more about HIM?

Les Moore is monstrous cad and in a just Batiukverse he would have been thrown off of a railroad trestle years ago by one of a long list of suspects too long to investigate and whom no jury would convict even if caught.

34 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as bench, cancer films, disgust, Hollywood, how things are NEVER done, inside lingo, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Lisa, Lisa's Story, Marianne, Marianne Winters, MariLisa, Martin Johns, MasoLes, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, movies, not how movies are made, park bench, sad-sackery, silhouette, smug inept bearded jerks, soundstage, Squick, tags you never thought you'd use, wig

by billytheskink | April 9, 2020 · 11:15 pm

Buck off

Today’s strip seems almost tame after yesterday’s turn of events, but still… Yes! To think, we all called Pete the creepy one.

Everything about this continues to be bizarre and off-putting. Why is Linda apparently conflicted about backing away from Buck’s advance? Heck, why is Buck making these advances to begin with? I mean, sure, he talked to Linda a bit when he came to visit Bull but… that’s just it, he came to visit BULL. Prior to Bull’s death, he spent 95% of his time at the Bushka house with Bull. Even when he was talking to Linda, they talked about Bull!

We know nothing about Buck other than that he played high school football and that he was miraculously diagnosed with CTE. Did he have a career? Prior relationships? Family? Friends? We have no context for this behavior, which means TB has painted himself into a corner without a way to make Buck come across as anything but gross and way out of line.

38 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Batiukmobile®, Buck, Buck Bedlow, characters everyone hates, creepiness, creepy, CTE, disgust, impending doom, Inappropriate quotes, Linda, Linda Bushka, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, sad-sackery, Squick, tags you never thought you'd use, tiny hands, very long arcs, very old gags

by billytheskink | April 8, 2020 · 11:15 pm

Haika not believe this

Oh really, TB?
You are really going there
here in today’s strip?

I was just joking
About Buck hitting on her
But you’re doing it!

There’s no other way
No other way to read this
What is wrong with you?!

This is just awful
Gross disgusting terrible
On every level

And poor Lord Byron
Really does not deserve this
Rolling in his grave

It’s an awful month
COVID-19’s bad enough
Now this on my mind

_______________________________

Happy belated
10 year anniversary
Son Of Stuck Funky

47 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as anniversary, Batiukmobile®, Buck, Buck Bedlow, CTE, disgust, lame wordplay, Linda, Linda Bushka, lost cause, old crap, Old dying people, old useless junk, poetry, sloppy use of tape, Squick, tags you never thought you'd use, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, very old gags

by billytheskink | April 7, 2020 · 10:45 pm

Brownie Pointless

The squick continues in today’s strip…

Good grief Linda, you two aren’t even done moving all of Bull’s junk to the car and you’re trying to set up a date?! Also, “buying you A lunch”?! Who talks like that? And the worst part, you take Buck to Montoni’s! I’m pretty sure taking someone in the throes of CTE-dementia to Montoni’s is at least a misdemeanor. It certainly should be.

Buck, pick another topic. Linda has already heard all about “those privileged @#*%!!” from… oy, Brownie Point. She would know more if Crazy hadn’t stolen Bull’s DVD of Westview’s game against them… but that’s no reason to fill her in. She was married to a guy who reminisced in excess about his high school football career for 30 years, so she’s probably heard enough… eh, scratch that. Maybe listening to high school football stories is her thing.

34 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Big Walnut Tech, boxes, Brownie Point, Buck, Buck Bedlow, Jaguar, Linda, Linda Bushka, Montoni's, old crap, old gags from the 1970's, old useless junk, pizza, RIP Bull, sheer idiocy, sloppy use of tape, Squick, tags you never thought you'd use, very old gags, WHS Sports Hall Of Fame

by billytheskink | January 9, 2020 · 10:30 pm

More Les? Probably. sigh-day, January 10

Today’s strip was not available for preview, but it is making me bored nevertheless.

Typically, I dive into the archives when a strip is not available for preview but I’m so bored by this story arc that… Yeah, OK, I’ll still do it. Someone has to make an effort when it comes to this strip.

Let’s see what strip celebrates it’s sweet 16 today. Here’s Funky Winkerbean from January 10, 2004:
FW1-10-04

Facing declining revenues, DSH glumly threatens to close Komix Korner (then located across the street from Montoni’s above the Jade Dragon Chinese restaurant). Mopey Pete, who worked in the store at the time, is excited about clocking out early (he was shirking even back then). Crazy get’s really sad. Les shows up for the above ONE strip and takes everything from maudlin to insufferable. This may be the most insufferable a comic book-focused FW strip has ever been… and that is saying something!

Of course, we know that Komix Korner survives. In fact, the very next week Tony agrees to rent the then-unused Montoni’s basement to DSH for the amazing price of “whenever you can pay me”. Hilariously, he only does this after Pete applies to work at Montoni’s, apparently figuring that giving Komix Korner the Montoni’s basement for FREE handily beats the prospect of hiring PETE (and he’s a guy who hired Durwood on two separate occasions).

32 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as boredom personified, Cayla, disgust, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les. Cayla, non-pizza foodstuffs, sheer idiocy, sickening dread, tags you never thought you'd use, Teachers who hated Les, tiny lassos, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, Westview H.S., Westview High School

by Epicus Doomus | May 11, 2019 · 10:47 pm

Some Mil-Dew And Some Mil-Don’t

Link To Today’s Strip

Blech, what an unsightly mess this is, even by fictional Sunday comic book cover standards. A mildew gag…really? Yikes. And “Wild And Watery Pulp Fiction”??? Really? Sounds like someone’s comic books might have gotten a little soggy in the not-too-distant past, as this is sort of weirdly specific in a discomforting kind of way. A superhero who’s susceptible to mildew…truly the hero the Funkyverse needs.

Maybe the next Atomik Komix (I will NEVER not hate typing that) title could be “The Horrible Hack” and, like with mildew and newsprint, his natural enemy would be online comic strip snark blogs. “Ha ha ha, you’ll NEVER escape the deadly grip of my continuity ray, Horrible Hack! BAH ha ha ha!”.

Stayed tuned for Comic Book Harriet, who’s throwing herself on the grenade tomorrow!

17 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Atomik Komix, Boy Lisa, mildew, Pete, reality bubble, Sunday comic book covers, tags you never thought you'd use, The Inedible Pulp

Tag Archives: tags you never thought you’d use

Eye Do Not Care Anymore

Getting the runaround

Hey I once met you, and this is crazy… but here’s my number, so call me, Funky.

Thought-Les

Secrets, Lies and Errors

Buck off

Haika not believe this

Brownie Pointless

More Les? Probably. sigh-day, January 10

Some Mil-Dew And Some Mil-Don’t

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