Tag Archives: Chester the Chiseler

Atomik Komix Has You Covered

Link To Today’s Strip

Uh yeah, Boy Lisa, whatever you say. Another fascinating “inside” look at the comic book craft, as imagined by Pulitzer (nominee) Boy. I can practically smell tomorrow’s Sunday sidewards comic book cover from here. Fortunately for everyone involved this should mark the end of his 2018 output and we’ll finally move on to whatever he cranked out last (sigh) year. If it’s anything like this arc we’re gonna be in for a long, long 2020.

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Quasi Fake Humor

“. . . it’s worth more now as a quasi fake computer than it was a real computer”.

This has to take the prize as most awkward, crappy sentence in the history of Funky Winkerbean, if not comic strips as a whole. I mean, wow. There’s a word just obviously missing “as a real computer”, for starters, showcasing the lack of crap-giving on the author’s part and the fact that nobody else reads these strips before they’re printed. Then there’s just the fact that so many words mean literally nothing. It’s now a “quasi fake” computer? What does “quasi fake” even mean? It’s either fake or not. It’s like saying Lisa was “quasi dead”. If anything it’s more of a real computer now, since before it was blatantly cartoony, making wisecracks, and now it’s just an Alexa/Siri knockoff. Take a bow, Tom Batiuk, this has to be your peak.
Oh, and Chester apparently has something worth two-million dollars sitting around the abandoned old building where Pete and Darin work all day. And somehow a piece of junk from a movie a year ago is now worth millions of dollars.

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It’s Funny Because They Think They’re Rock Stars

Aw, isn’t that sweet, the comic book creators are helping the comic book store owner out with something comic book related going on at his comic book store! Who would have seen that coming? And what a refreshing change of pace for this strip to focus on comic books for a change.
Two things about this strip. It’s kind of funny how nobody in this strip calls or e-mails anybody for simple questions like this. I mean it’s obvious why not; if they did then Batiuk wouldn’t be able to stretch crap like this into multi-week arcs. I also think it’s kind of funny how neither Pete nor Darrin have to check with their boss or with family to see if they have any scheduling conflicts. Comic books always take priority after all.

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It’s not what you thINK

The power is out again at Atomik Komix in today’s strip?! Oh no! That means we have to read a comic about the power being out again

There is a lot in this strip, and it will make your head hurt if you actually think about any of it. So please don’t, that is the burden I have chosen to bear this week.
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Is Atomik Comix in such dire financial straights that Chester didn’t pay the electric bill? Was it because he couldn’t part with any more of his gardening catalog collection?

If the electricity in the old Batom Comics building is so unreliable that it goes out weekly…
– Why doesn’t Chester move his 3 employees to a few hundred square feet of space in one of Cleveland’s many affordable, functional, and maintained office buildings?
– Why is there no generator or other back-up plan to maintain power?
– How does this building pass city inspection? Even Cleveland has standards.

Why doesn’t Mindy know what to do? Not one week ago, she met a deadline while working from a coffee shop.

How does Mindy not know what Dr. Martin’s is? Yeah, I get that the average person doesn’t know what it is (which really weakens the Dr. Martins=Doc Martens joke) but she is paid for her apparent artistic talent and she’s never used physical ink or been into an art supply store?

Does Chester really think that ink he found in a box of unused supplies from Batom Comics is still usable for professional-quality work? For reference Batom Comics shut down in 1972.

How does Durwood’s face manage to get even longer?
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There, I’ve though about all of that for you. I have determined that there are no satisfactory answers and that this whole story arc is asinine, so don’t even think you need to worry about it. Carry on and have a nice Saturday.

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Aunt Alta Vista

Here’s the link to today’s strip. I have only a single comment:

Stop it with “Grandpa Google”! It is not a thing anyone in real life has ever said or ever will say!

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Thor’s Day, January 10

Today’s strip was not available for preview.

Isn’t that just like the comics industry? We finally have a story arc about a woman righting the egregious wrongs of the comic industry’s man-o-centric male-ocracy and then it stops being available for preview. Typical good ol’ boys club behavior, really…

Well, while we wait for the strip/truth bombs to drop, let’s take a look at the start of Mindy’s comics education, which began with the discovery of Lucy McKenzie’s comic book collection in the attic of the McKenzie home back in 2007… mere minutes after she smirked at a confused Lucy while visiting her at an Alzheimer’s home. That is really what happened.

cs4-5-2007

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Batty Batom Baloney

Welp, turns out the Batom Bullpen is actually BS, as Chester learns in today’s strip. Six panels of explanation about how working at Batom Comics in the 1950s was just like Pete and Durwood’s fever dreams and one panel of Chester getting the vapors after learning that Pete and Durwood’s fever dreams were true to life. It’s… it’s almost like we’ve seen all of this actually drawn and didn’t need any of this exposition.

Poor, poor Holtron has to witness this whole sad, sad scene.

And with that, the skink is out until next time. $10 sez this story arc is going to continue uninterrupted until my next turn at the wheel.

No takers?

None?

Yeah, I don’t blame ya.

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Starstruck Jones

Well, at least today’s strip doesn’t contain any Wayne’s World shtick so fantastically lame and over exposed that it took me hours to recognize it, like yesterday’s did… The gag is still extremely rote, though. Could we at least get a “Mr. Freeman is my father” bit? I actually kind of like that old groaner.

According to the official “Untold History” of Batom Comics, Flash Freeman created Starbuck Jones as an adult in 1954. He looks pretty good for 136.

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Why, just why?-day, April 20

Today’s strip was not available preview, so it is time to dive into the archives to find answers to the questions that YOU, the loyal and hearty SOSF readers, want to know!

Today’s question comes from B.D. Idenitpicker from Picher, Oklahoma.

When did Pete get those bags under his eyes? Was he born with them?

The answer, obviously, is yes. Pete’s eye bags were visible on ultrasound. But, I know you all are here for archival evidence, so lets see some, shall we?

FW9-2-98
Here’s Pete’s first appearance in the fall of 1998 and… what? No bags? Or are Pete’s eye bags all we see here around his nose, not his eyes themselves? I subscribe to the latter theory.

FW9-4-98
Pete’s bags are on clear display in this strip, where much-missed Act II arsonist Mooch Myers takes Durwood’s property with no intention of returning it. I would like to see more of this, actually.

FW9-10-98
Pete’s bags grew considerably here in this strip, where he creepily pines for his best friend’s future wife.

FW9-11-98
And they grow further still when talking about his parent’s divorce, because Act II was all about EVERYONE having a personal raincloud.

There you have it, sports fans. Pete has never gotten enough sleep, or learned about antihistamines. Until next time, keep sending in those post cards!

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Does This Spell The End?

Having been informed in today’s strip that the name of his newfound comic book company is already trademarked, Chester decides to employ the strategy of phonetic misspelling that made the TurboGrafx-16 the number one name in video games.

I find this strip to be fairly discordant because of the use of “Grandpa Google” combined with the revelation that an Atomic Comics already once existed. First, “Grandpa Google”… please stop trying to either make this a thing people say or pretend that it already is a thing people say. It is not and it never will be. However, stupid as it is, I can allow that it is some kind of in-universe slang. But that brings in the second point of discord. If this is a fictional universe in which people say “Grandpa Google” without being blackmailed then why does “Atomic Comics” have to be an unusable trademark? Skirting a real-life trademark is a spectacularly uninteresting story arc, not to mention that “Atomik Komix” isn’t likely to stave off a lawsuit that “Atomic Comics” would invite anyways. This makes the set up of The Phantom Menace look like Macbeth.

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