Author Archives: Epicus Doomus

Requiem For A Dweeb

Yuck

Leave it to The Great Author to put a new spin on the ol’ “delicate genius writes late night indecipherable note to himself” trope. In this example, instead of having it happen to a funny or entertaining or tolerable character, he used the single most loathsome character in the history of fiction instead. Dick Facey and Cayla Tyler Moore…the wryest couple on the wryest street in the wryest town in the wryest state, already in a state of full wryness mere seconds after opening their eyes in the morning. I need a solid hour and a half before I can form full sentences in the morning but these f*cking weirdos are literally wry in their sleep, ready to start smirking as soon as they’re conscious.

And on that note, it’s time to step aside and turn the microphone over to spacemanspiff85 for the next go round!

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Silver-Tongued Drivel

Link To Today’s Banality

I’ve often joked that if BatYak’s glacially-paced little “stories” moved any slower they’d start unfolding backwards, but I never thought it’d actually happen. But here we are, witnesses to his most brazen labor-saving contrivance yet…starting already in-progress arcs from the beginning again. He just did it with the Bull arc and now he’s doing it again by pretending that Melinda is just arriving at Funky’s house now, even though we all know this not to be the case. This isn’t just another nit-picky continuity error, he’s omitting entire story lines and just starting them over again like they never happened, which sort of defeats the entire “serialized” format itself.

I did enjoy the askew lampshade, traditionally used to symbolize disorganization/squalor/disarray and/or askewicity. It’s a delightful little touch, one that really drives home the point of how Melinda is unpacking and moving in after just arriving from Florida. It’s unusual to see such attention to detail in a story that just totally ignored literally every other detail. Melinda’s brutally downbeat response to Funky’s musty old attempted gag is classic Batiuk too, as having her crack a smile might be construed as a development in their vaudevillian mother-in-law/son-in-law relationship and God forbid he lets any character growth slip through quality control, as it could invalidate his CK contract and force him into the book signing circuit full-time. And no one wants that.

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Lions And Funky And Holly…Oh My

Link To Today’s Panel

One wonders why they’d go through the trouble of moving what appears to be a huge stone lawn ornament all the way to Ohio from Florida, but then again expecting this to suddenly start making sense now is just plain foolish. The stone lion sure is oddly specific, though. I assume it has to have some tenuous connection to BatHack’s “real” life, so to speak. Hopefully he just keeps that info to himself.

Coming tomorrow: Melinda’s in-ground swimming pool arrives, followed by the water on Sunday. It’ll be an Atomik Komix cover, of course…”Oceania”, the superhero who can move entire huge bodies of water by himself. The reality bubble will feature Funky and Melinda standing next to a large tanker truck as she complains about Ohio’s “hard water” as Funky looks on stupidly.

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In The Garage

Link To Today’s Strip

“Cars”? You might be able to squeeze ONE Batiukmobile in that garage, but plural? No f*cking way. I can’t tell if that’s supposed to be sepia-toned Cory or Funky or what, nor can I tell how it relates in any way to the premise here, or why this wasn’t just a one-paneler, but at least it’s already Thursday which means this is hopefully almost over.

That’s a pretty decent house by Westviewian standards, definitely a home befitting the local pizza kingpin. Nice size, nice lawn, nice garage…it’s certainly better than Moore Manor, with its dead trees and weird detached office. Chester’s place is nicer, but than again he IS a renowned comic book collector and all. I’ve always wanted Batiuk to do a map of Westview and the surrounding area so I can see where everything is in relation to everything else, as this fascinates me to no end. Given his obvious refusal to put anything more than significantly less than the bare minimum into this thing, I assume I’ll be waiting for that for some time.

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Storage Snores

Link To Today’s Thing

A sad listless joke, built on sad tired tropes, at the expense of a sad beaten man. This is one of those stealthily depressing FW strips, one that appears harmless enough on the surface but which reveals all kinds of terrible truths about the strip in general. Most “writers” probably would have skipped over this part of the story and jumped ahead to the part where Melinda is all moved in already, but not BatYak. He obviously saw some moving trucks outside and had another “and I thought it’d be very, very funny if…” moment and yadda yadda yadda here we are, with six days of watching Funky watching people putting boxes into a truck. Sigh.

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Sisyphunkian Task

Link To Today’s Real Strip

In case you missed it, yesterday’s actual strip featured Crazy, Holly, a Flash T shirt and a really dumb menopause gag. The fake one was way better, quite frankly. Anyhow, Funky is down in Florida, supervising Melinda’s looming move back to the mid-central Ohio valley and all heck is apparently breaking loose, as Funky is already completely overwhelmed by having to put some Hummel figurines and Franklin Mint collector plates in a box. Can’t these idiots EVER just do something without bellyaching about it for six days at a time?

I’m not sure which is funnier, Holly’s brutally fractured syntax or Melinda’s vintage 1925 parlor. Sometimes I just don’t understand Batiuk’s world at all, man. On top of that, Melinda is Holly’s mother, so why isn’t SHE down there doing this? I’m sure Wally and Adeela can hold down the fort, provided there aren’t any air raid drills scheduled this week.

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Pills A Go-Go

Link To Sunday’s Strip

At first glance I didn’t recognize the old crone Morty was arguing with and I had no idea who Eluis was either. Then it all came together. Let’s face it people, we may have dodged a bullet here, as “Holly’s mother annoys Funky” has two-week arc written all over it. Better to get it over and done with on a Sunday, as no one cares about the Sunday strips anyway.

Coming tomorrow: the return of SoSF founder TFH!

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