Author Archives: Epicus Doomus

Pin Pull Wizard

Link To Today’s Strip

These “Funky at the gym” arcs don’t really give you a lot of material to work with. Another bland gag from a bland character in a bland setting in a bland comic strip. Of course it could be worse, but that’s all relative. At least it’s kind of a joke, so there is that. In fact in December you could go back and review 2020 and pick out the ten “best” individual strips and this one would probably make the cut, which is not an endorsement. Actually it’s downright depressing.

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E-Fail

Link To Today’s Real Strip

Ha! Fooled ya! Funky isn’t dying, at least not today. If you missed yesterday’s “real” strip, no you didn’t. Funky on the treadmill reading e-mails…one of FW’s most beloved “running” gags. Get it? Anyhow, Lard Ass has been going to that gym for the better part of a decade now, so you’d think he wouldn’t be quite this imbecilic by this point.

And that BatHam, always with the e-mail gags. It’s like how my parents were with VCRs, this internet stuff will never not be voodoo to him, no matter how dated it gets.

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Sheer Heart Attack

Link To Today’s Strip

Finally, some genuine mid-week suspense for a change. Is he going to play this for laughs or are we about to travel down Batiuk’s Dark Path yet again? The last time Funky had to face his own mortality all sorts of hi-jinx ensued, not the least of which was the birth of “Starbuck Jones”. Maybe this time Funky will go back in time and tell BatYam to forget all about this “serious” new direction of his and go back to writing gags before it’s too late. I can’t see this being quite that ambitious, but a good ol’ Funky health scare beats the hell out of four more days of gym jokes. It’s way funnier too.

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The Entire Funky Winkerbean Experience In One Panel

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Every once in a while a work of art comes along that completely encapsulates the very act of experiencing it. Ladies and gentlemen, I submit to you panel one, the work that every FW strip parodist has been striving for since Photoshop 1.0. IMO it’s easily the pinnacle of Act III thus far. If BatYam’s entire career is remembered only for this, it was all worth it. When they someday build the FW Hall Of Fame panel one will be hanging in the entrance foyer. If he made T shirts of this I’d definitely buy one.

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The Winterbean Of Our Malcontent

Link To Today’s Installment

Where’s Fitness Girl? She was actually one of the less irritating characters in the strip. But of course, just like with Buddy, he had to go and f*ck it all up. Fitness Bro’s already getting on my nerves and ordinarily a “Funky Goes To The Gym” arc is like Ambien with none of the cool side effects but in all seriousness I was genuinely relieved when I saw it wasn’t about Lisa and her stupid f*cking ashes and benches again. And I know you are too.

The guy who writes this thing really, really sucks at naming his strips, you know? “John Darling” gives you no indication that the strip is about a wacky TV host or whatever he was supposed to be before Batom spitefully killed him off. “Crankshaft” has all sorts of hilarious connotations and if he was unaware of those connotations that only makes it funnier. And of course there’s “Funky Winkerbean”, a title that practically demands a “huh?” from anyone who hears it. I mean it probably sounded totally hysterical under a black light with a homemade honey bear bottle bong under a “Just Hang In There, Baby” poster, but sometimes perhaps it’s a better idea to refrain from mailing the letter to the trademark office until the next morning. You can’t even say it out loud without getting confused glances, as it sort of sounds vaguely obscene in a weird G-rated way. Bet you he wishes he could have that one back.

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Ultima Thulame*

*(Pronounced “Too Lame”)

Link To The Sunday Strip

What’s with the “pronounced Tor” gag there in panel four? Another sly dig at Hollywood? In order for something to be an “inside joke” someone else needs to get it, so I don’t know.

So poor, poor Klabichnik is annoyed and frustrated by his sub-cretinous students…there’s a theme FW rarely touches upon. It might make more of an impact if it wasn’t the punchline of every single FW teacher/student gag, but then again probably not.

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Palme d’Bore

Link To Today’s Strip

It took me a minute to decipher Mason’s idiotic babbling. He means palm trees. Get it? It’s so embarrassing when BatNap tries too hard to be clever. It doesn’t really happen that often and it’s easy to see why.

Didn’t they travel to NYC together? Why is Mason leaving without Les? The entirety of Les’ involvement with the cancer movie consisted of giving Mason a general idea of where he scattered Lisa’s ashes then showing him a bench in a city they visited once? That sort of seems, uh, not right. The contents of that cancer book of his become more and more enigmatic all the time, sometimes it’s the story of a dying woman’s courage in the face of death and sometimes it’s the Encyclopedia Lisatannica, complete with extensive footnotes.

Note Les’ incredibly obnoxious pose in panel one. Mason is actually thanking Dick Facey for the privilege of allowing him to stonewall him with his overly sensitive and quite frankly pissy attitude, like Les just granted this major Hollywood celebrity a priceless audience with a true artist. Well, I least that’s what I get out of that image, but Les is capable of enraging me even when he’s very poorly rendered from a distance. History has shown again and again that BatYap is nothing if not lazy, so let’s hope this marks the end of the cancer movie trip down bad memories lane, if for no other reason than a lack of effort.

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