Author Archives: Epicus Doomus

Did I Stutter?

Link To Today’s Strip

Back in 1994 BatYak was considered something of a modern-day Nostradamus, courageously addressing timely social issues of the day long before they became fashionable. Guns in schools, teen pregnancy, drunk prom driving, alcoholism, divorce, talk radio, medical chart snafus…BatHack saw these broad social trends coming and tried to communicate these truths to us via his unique brand of obtuse wry banter, which unfortunately was just a bit too far ahead of its time for the “average” comic strip reader to properly appreciate. In an era marked by noisy dissonant pop-culture phenomenons like Nirvana and “For Better And For Worse” Batiuk’s subtle, more writer-ly take was lost in the shuffle. It was truly America’s loss.

Anyhow, it’s a real delight to see the still-dying Fred manage to weakly mutter his approval for the #hashtag movement as his loveless wife and reluctant caretaker Ann looks on with barely interested disgust at the frail wretch of a man her philandering ambition-crushing husband has become. So it turns out that the whole #anti-guns in schools arc was just a prop to take a victory lap acknowledging that FW addressed the issue way before it became trendy and fashionable. Nicely done. If any “young people” get teen pregnant or let talk radio inspire them to blow up post offices he’ll have that covered too. Sigh.

Advertisements

17 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

A Brief History Of Stupidity

Link To Today’s Strip

You know he’s going to say this arc was “about” climate change, even though it was actually “about” six days too long. See, while I have no idea how it really works, I assume they do the artwork based on a TomBan premise, then he fills in the word balloons with his shitty dialog. I mention this because in my opinion there was something “off” about this arc, like the premise it was drawn for was something different than he ultimately opted to go with. The subject of the arc (Holly’s mother) is unseen, Funky is inexplicably shoveling snow at some sort of municipal building, apparently having forgotten that his mother-in-law already does live with him and today Holly throws an entirely inappropriate sinister smirk at Funky for no reason.

It doesn’t add up and it reads like it was supposed to be something else before, for whatever reason, BatNard dropped the original premise and threw together this piece of garbage instead. Or maybe I’m wrong and this was exactly what he intended to do all along, which is an even scarier thought.

15 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Three Rights Make A Left

Link To Today’s Strip

Oh boy. Today we see TomBat courageously dipping his toe into, uh, “climate change politics”, let’s say. It’s an issue he tackles once a decade or so. Regardless of where you stand or how you feel about climate change, I think it’s safe to say that anyone concerned with or bothered by climate would take their chances sinking in Florida over living in Westview, where months-long Antarctic-like blizzards and life-threatening leaf falls are a way of life. It makes even New Jersey look like paradise.

Yeah yeah yeah, his name is in there but please, try to refrain from “political debate” in the comment section and devote your energies toward making fun of the comic strip, please. It’s one of the few things left that all comic strip-reading Americans can agree upon. I ask for so little and give so much, just indulge me on this one. Thank you in advance.

19 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Decamping Trip

Link to today’s strip

Dear Lord what ARE these imbeciles babbling about? The “power is out at Atomik Komix AGAIN”? So this happens regularly? Looks like buying an entire dilapidated office building for a company that employs four people might not have been the shrewdest idea, especially considering it’s some sort of poorly-wired death trap. “Art” is imitating “life” again in the Funkyverse, as the AK cretins are now basing THEIR ideas on things that happen to pass their field of vision that day, just like Batom does!

That’s all for me, stay tuned for the riotous comedic stylings of none other than SoSF’s very own billytheskink!!

21 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

If He Keeps Complaining The Levy’s Going To Break

Link To Today’s Strip

“Har har har! Remember your old school’s slipshod approach to player safety and medical care? Yuk yuk yuk!”. If their high school was such a poorly-funded nightmare why do they all remember it so fondly? One minute Batom is “thoughtfully” tackling the football head injury epidemic, the next he’s chuckling over the macabre image of an injured child being lugged off the field in a wheelbarrow. What a sicko.

24 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Then There Was The Time He Did That Shitty Football Gag

Link To Today’s

“Then there was the time” = “I have given up all pretense of being a writer”. Again, he COULD be doing these jokes as straight-up Bull football gags but because he ruined the Bull character he can’t and thus must rely on awful, awful contrivances and really cheap dialog to bring his witticisms to fruition, let’s say. Buck is still pounding away on his hapless pal, doing everything he can to ensure that Bull’s last football memories will be depressing ones. Maybe it’s just the artist but there’s a certain mean-spiritedness to this Buck asshole, he’s like Dinkle without the cutesy sardonic irony thing he does. And I certainly don’t recall anyone demanding that.

16 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Fourplay/Long Time (Ago)

Link To Today’s Strip

And when the QB called for a play requiring an empty backfield, the players all ran toward the unused “back field” behind the cafeteria. Did you ever notice how “quarterback” and “cornerback” sound sort of similar? That sure is confusing. And did you ever notice those commercials they play during the Super Bowl? They sure are something. Why, sometimes they’re even more entertaining than the game!

It’d be so refreshing if Bull just punched Buck in the mouth and told him to get the f*ck out of his house. Unfortunately, though, it’s a 100% certainty that he’ll continue to meekly sit there and take it as Buck craps all over his rapidly-fading high school memories because Westviewians don’t get mad, they get wry. In fact, that inbred wryness probably explains why the Scapegoats were always so shitty. Well, that and Bull’s awful coaching.

Here’s where I’m obliged to point out that these “remember when?” retconned memories wouldn’t be necessary if BatWrite hadn’t ruined the Bull character for no discernible reason. Just like with Dinkle and his band gags, Bull could have done football jokes into infinity if only Batom had refrained from giving him a degenerative brain disorder, a disorder that apparently hasn’t even visibly manifested itself yet. Just like with Dinkle’s hearing loss (and Morty’s dementia and Lisa’s death), Bull doesn’t seem any different or worse for wear yet, leaving the reader to wonder why BatBore even bothered with that dopey half-assed CTE arc in the first place. Instead of just doing six football gags, he has to do six gags about old football gags he used to do, which explains why 99.999% of the population has no idea what “Funky Winkerbean” even means.

13 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky