Tag Archives: Linda

Credit Where It’s Dull

Epicus Doomus
June 1, 2017 at 11:27 am
…[S]houldn’t “Ms. Lopez” be “Mrs. Bushka”? Did Bull die off-camera or something?

Here’s another unanswered question: is Jim being witty or does he just not know what a credit union is? Another question, and this one’s for any teachers out there: are you required to pack up and schlep home all your belongings at the end of every school year? Linda’s got but one box but it looks to be loaded with books; Jim’s got two boxes but still manages to get a hand free to push open the automatic door. Burchett gets to introduce another new character: that janitor who vowed to one day kick the ass of the guy whoever the hell peed in his closet 40 years ago.

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Don’t Try and Con ‘er

I don’t know about you, but man, RB’s art is still giving me the heebie jeebies. Today it’s that second panel, where Linda is looking right at us with her beady eyes, beady eyebrows, and weird bottom teeth. Her shoulders and elbows are all weird, undulating contours…don’t her arms appear bony? And there’s a ominous, diagonal black shadow behind her: why? And when did she start wearing her ID badge so prominently? Detective Lopez of the Westview PD.

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It’s Beta Than Nothing

SoSFDavidO here, peeking in on this week’s lack of action!

Ah boy, another strip, another plot device pulled out of thin air. Ignoring the fact Harry’s head is on backward in Panel 1, where was this tape the whole time? Funky’s Magical Safe of Holding? Does anyone remember the size of video cameras that used VHS tapes like in today’s strip? I do, and they were the size of a small dairy goat. The idea Harry lugged one of those things to a game and filmed anything is ludicrous. Bull already *lived* the event, what’s a tape going to do but remind him of how old, fat and tired he looks?

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Bore And Snore-der

Link To Today’s Strip

“Yo, Petey! Listen, you know those thirty pallets of blank VHS tapes you boosted right before the format went extinct and couldn’t ever find a buyer for? Well listen, there’s this town in Ohio….”.

“Welcome to Slippery Pete’s Blank VHS Tape Emporium, formerly “Citizen Khans”, how can I help you? Two dozen blank VHS tapes? Why sure, that will be two hundred dollars, please (chortle).”

Taping…LOL. Taping “Law And Order” for twenty years…LOL again. “Too busy coaching”…uh yeah, sure he was, Linda, sure he was.

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No Formats Left Behind

Link To Today’s Strip

It really IS a videotape! Someone actually brought a VHS camcorder to Bull’s last game? Or is this some ancient tape Dinkle unearthed while he was endlessly roaming around WHS for no sensible reason? These people and the videotapes, that was a technological advancement Westviewians oddly embraced for some reason instead of shunning it like they always do.

“What? Movies with sound? Kids today are so spoiled. I’ll stick to my silent films, this is just a fad.”

“Ahhh, the color, the tint…just two more silly knobs to have to fiddle with. I’ll stick to my old black & white TV, thank you very much.”

“Video games? On the TV? Where do you put the comic book? Kids today are so weird.”

“WOW! A camcorder! I can make my own video tapes! I’m gonna record everything and save all the tapes even if the format eventually dies out!”

One of these is not like the others. Imagine it, you’re at a WHS football game, filming with your phone. Then you look up and notice the angry faces of the locals, all of them with huge old-fashioned VHS camcorders hoisted on their aching sagging shoulders. You begin to hear the murmurs…”fancy technology wiz thinks he’s so cool”…”yeah, let’s see him dub copies with that thing”…”damn kids today”. The crowd begins passing around hand-written little notes mocking you. And when you innocently ask whether that horrible wooden trough thing is really supposed to be the men’s room the fed-up mob attacks, running you out of the bleachers and back to your futuristic dream world. And it’s all on videotape.

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Meeting Of The Mindless

Link To Today’s Strip

Woe, woe, woe…Merry Funkmas!!! Everything is inexplicably back in living color today as Dinkle bravely forges ahead through typical Westviewian blizzard conditions to visit his old pal…Bull? Sure, why not? I don’t recall ever seeing those two interact, this oughta be really…(zzzzzzzz). I’ll tell you this right now: if Bull is angrily sitting there next to some overturned water cups I’m outta here for the week. Ditto if Dinkle starts with the music-based puns…”passing his baton” and such. This has “dismal and lifeless” written all over it as it is, there’s just no need to pile on.

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My Mother Said, To Get Things Done, You’d Better Not Mess With Major Tom

Link to today’s strip.

Wow.

You see that, sportos?  If you start out in sports and athletic endeavors, your life will end in crushing failure after a career of setback after setback.  Any chance for happiness will be snatched back at the last moment, leaving your suffering ever more exquisite.  Serves you right for bullying certain people we could name.  Those people practice the only pure sport known to man, running!

You just wasted your entire life.  You could have done things differently–you could have followed the smart people, and become a big comic book fan.  Those people never ever fail at anything, and are always living fulfilling lives.  People smile and wave at them, and offer them rewarding jobs just because they’re comic book fans.  Just think, right now, Linda could be bringing you milk and cookies as you sat in the attic reading about the Flash.  But no, in the strip, you’ve never even mentioned whether you even like comic books.  Loser!

I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a naked expression of hatred from a creator to his creation as today’s strip.  This goes way beyond harsh into rabid, frothing vendetta-land.  This is a person deciding his child’s kindergarten painting wasn’t very good–so it needed to be shredded in front of said child’s eyes as a lesson.  This is “vindictive” with a capital “murder,” to the point where I honestly can’t believe what I’m seeing.

And it would have been so easy to turn it around, to make it something positive.  Get rid of Bull’s dialogue in panels 4 through 6, and replace it with Linda:  “Bull, it’s okay.  That’s the last act of your old life.  The life where you were always worried and angry and things kept going wrong.  That life’s over, and we’re starting your new life tonight.  The one where we face life together.  You and me.”  Then the lights go out, but there’s the hopeful tinge that Bull actually has something to look forward to.  But no, we get an ever descending chorus of bleakness, then the lights go out.  I’m surprised there wasn’t a “BANG!” sound effect in that last panel.

It seems weird, because it sure looked like Bull was being rehabilitated.   As HeyItsDave pointed out on the 24th, Bull has a long list of favors that he’s done for Les.  I mean, if you can’t get absolution doing favors for Les Moore, than your star really is about to shatter.   But there’s always been a rather blatant contempt for sports in the strip.  Yeah, Wedgeman and the other team members were stupidly evil, but that’s typical for a lot of comic strips.  The real “sports is nothing and requires no talent” bit came when a star quarterback emerged from smoking loser Jared.  No practice, no hard work, no talent, anyone could do it.

Today’s strip, though.  I mean, like a nine-car pileup, it’s hard to look away.  This strip really looks like a revenge fantasy that Tom Batiuk drew without ever intending to publish (a sort of voodoo-strip, if you will).  But then there was this deadline, see, and time got short–

Makes me wonder if he has Sunday revenge-strips all drawn, inked and colored about all of us.  Somehow, I would not be surprised.

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