Tag Archives: Linda

Surly To Bed, Surly To Rise

Link To Today’s Chapter

It’s FW at its darkest and most dramatic today, as an enraged Bull desperately flings his precious football DVDs around in an idiotic frenzy, refusing to return to bed until he’s able to re-live one more old football memory. How this is supposed to differ from non-CTE Bull is beyond me, but there you go. It’s sort of funny how one-dimensional Bull is and how every single aspect of his character, even his psychotic breakdowns, centers around high school football and it’s also mildly amusing how mundane the actual activity (looking for a lost DVD) is, given how this is apparently supposed to portray how “unstable” Bull is supposed to be right now. Maybe tomorrow he’ll violently attack the toilet brush or lash out angrily at that welcome mat that’s always getting stuck under the door.

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Nuh Body Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen

Link To Today’s Strip

A stunning turn of events today, as it’s revealed that Bull is in fact downstairs watching one of his old high school football games, a development no one could have foreseen. BatYarn once again can’t resist grinding his heel into Bull’s soul, again reminding readers that Bull is, was and always will be a sad-sack schlub and all-around loser who wasted his life on stupid sports instead of watching his first wife die and writing a book about it like more refined, studious and educated Westviewians do. Suffering from a degenerative brain disease isn’t enough punishment for Bull’s past transgressions, now he’s going to be forced to wallow in his lengthy litany of defeat for good measure, just to further drive the point home. BatTom won’t even allow Bull the dignity of becoming a drooling helpless idiot, he’s still milking him for laughs and cheap gags and apparently will continue to do so to the bitter end. Man that guy sure carries a grudge.

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Linda Couldn’t Sleep At All Last Night

Link To Today’s Strip

Nothing else in the Funkyverse ratchets up the drama and tension like a good old fashioned silent Monday cliffhanger strip does. Where is Bull? The mind simply reels at the potential ramifications of this startling revelation. Is he alive? Is he dead? Is he in the house? Did he leave? And if so, where did he go? The possibilities and ramifications are practically infinite.

And of course by “infinite” I mean two. He’s obviously either watching TV or he’s over at the ol’ ball field, once again reflecting on the moronic life he’ll eventually be forgetting. Sometimes I wonder if a) Bull’s CTE will ever actually manifest itself in any visible way and b) will anyone be able to tell the difference when that happens? I mean it certainly hasn’t seemed to affect his ability to hang around remembering things, as it’s literally all he’s done since his diagnosis.

And I really appreciated the visual imagery today, as I’m sure I’m not the only regular FW reader who always (shudder) wondered what Linda looked like when she was (gak) waking up. Turns out she looks the same, only crabbier. Good to know.

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You Got the Silver

What’s my opinion, Bernie? How about this: next time the school levy fails to pass, my opinion is that the school could save some budget by doing away with “The Bleat.” I’d also recommend giving the boot to clueless, ineffectual teachers like Mr. Moore and Mrs. Bushka, but sadly, they’re tenured in. “Tenure” must also explain why past-their-prime, mirthless franchises such as Funky Winkerbean (and Crankshaft) continue to occupy the ever shrinking amount of real estate allotted to newspaper comics.

It’s been my honor to share the FW misery with you these past couple weeks. Though I am loathe to give away spoilers, TB has already teased in his blog about next week’s “prestige” arc, ripped from last year’s headlines, and comicbookharriet will break it all down for you starting tomorrow.

 

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Clock Him NOW!

Some of the possible signs and symptoms of CTE may include…cognitive impairment…

from The Mayo Clinic page on CTE

Not only may Batiuk have finally succeeded in making me feel empathy for Bull…I think I’m experiencing a little “cognitive impairment” myself. Or maybe TB is the one who’s losing it. Back in 2011 he spent a week crafting a retcon in which Bull had only been pretending to physically abuse Les so that the other bullies would leave him alone. I think Les may have done Bull’s homework for him, or tutored him, or some shit, in return…I really don’t remember or care. Neither can I remember (help me out here, billytheskink) if Linda was part of the gang in Act I, or did she not show up until they all were adults in Act II. She didn’t know Bull and Les in high school? All the confusion even has Les scratching his head.

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Snow Daze

Linda continues to kvetch about the negative impact that Bull’s condition will have on her retirement plans. I guess it’s a quarter inch from reality that someone faced with having to care for a partner in declining health is entitled to feel bad and complain. It sure makes for a depressing “comic” strip though. Does Linda have any other friends in whom she can confide, aside from Les, who until this week has demonstrated zero concern for the well being of his old tormentor and tennis partner?

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Afford-a-Bull Care

“You usually think of CTE just happening to professional football players, not washed up, never was-es like your husband.” “I know, right?” Batiuk’s already wringing plenty of pathos from the CTE uh, “epidemic.” Today he ups the ante with a shot at health care costs. He even has Linda assume the broke Mr. Monopoly “Pay Poor Tax of $15” stance for effect. Bull was around the NFL long enough to have a cup of coffee, but he went on to be a teacher, coach, and AD for about three decades. He may not be flush, but is better prepared than many to deal with a health crisis.

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