Tag Archives: air travel

Whizzer of Oz

Today’s strip also wasn’t available for preview. Based on Batiuk’s track record with Crankshaft, I’m assuming we’re in for a solid week of airplane urination “humor”.

 

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Can Decoder Rings Melt?

Today’s strip wasn’t available for preview. My guess is it’ll be a single panel of Jeff holding out his decoder ring for a kneeling Pete to kiss, while Mindy swoons in the background.

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Doo Diligence

Link To Today’s Strip

So Mason is insisting on holding a phony casting call just to assure Les that he’s putting every available resource into finding the perfect Lisa, even though he’s already decided who’ll play her? So they’re going to waste thousands of dollars and everyone’s valuable time just to put the smug bearded dick with ears at ease? BatHam’s insane “inside Hollywood” fantasies are spiraling out of control again. This is the most laughable cancer movie premise yet and they haven’t even settled on the cast yet. For anyone else setting your story on the set of a Hollywood movie would have all sorts of potential, but just like with Starbuck Jones he instead opts to focus on the most mundane aspects, like picking up a guy who’ll be sitting in during casting. Yet another fanciful sub-universe full of lore, characters and lingo where absolutely nothing ever happens. Sigh.

Why is Cindy always chauffeuring Les around? Isn’t she some sort of newscaster? It always amazes me how everyone in the Funkyverse always seems to have nothing better to do at any given moment. “The same driver”…he mentioned another arc, albeit a way more recent one this time. He’s suddenly doing that all the time and I find it kind of unnerving.

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Top-Down Approach

After paying to fly Les 2,000 miles to LAX, you’d suppose Mason would at least spring for an Uber to bring him the rest of the way. Instead, the task falls to the eternally youthful and hot Cindy Summers Winkerbean Jarre to fetch Les. because what else are true friends for? Also, does Cindy still even have that job at Buddyblog? His arrival in sunny California has done nothing to snap Les out of his apathy; he even slouches in the passenger seat of Cindy’s sporty, battleship gray roadster. Batty’s gone to great lengths to depict Les’ complete lack of confidence. And you knew that TB was going to compose some kind of wry punchline around “pitch”… but when else have we seen Les “pitch” anything? His endless book signings attract fans who come prepared to buy his work (in multiple!). He sure doesn’t “pitch” an appreciation of language arts to the generation of students who’ve endured his class. He pitched himself in matrimony–twice–and somehow succeeded both times. You know who can pitch though? Mrs. Les Moore, aka Cayla. Come to think of it, Les is the last denizen of the Funkiverse who should be making sporto analogies.

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What’s the deal with Les’ mood?

OK, when I typed “So, what’s the deal with airline food?” in yesterday’s post, I didn’t think Les would seize upon that and give us a airline complaints routine that even Milton Berle wouldn’t steal in today’s strip. I’m truly and terribly sorry. Seriously, I genuinely apologize and take full responsibility for this crime against newsprint. Somebody has to take responsibility…

Les griping about the airline nickel-and-diming him just doesn’t track, as Mason paid for his flight, a fact that was mentioned in the strip as recently as… literally yesterday. Well, I mean, the idea that Les and Cayla were charged extra for their stated “free” trip doesn’t track. Les griping at the slightest opportunity, of course, does. If Les was acting like this the whole flight he should be grateful that he wasn’t tossed out of the plane without a parachute. A nation sighs at the missed opportunity.

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Moore Problems

I’m billytheskink and this is 2020’s first Les Moore story arc. There, you’ve been warned.

I tagged today’s strip with “first world problems”… but even that is far far far too broad a description of any problem that could result from “my friend the movie star is giving us both a free trip to Los Angeles next week.” Cayla seems to have some self-awareness about this, but this is the Act III Funky Winkerbean where Les is a saint, even when he’s whining. We’ll just have to wait a few days to find out what his “righteous” reasoning is.

Also, we will probably add this storyline to the long list of times people in this strip have flown across the country to conduct a meeting that could have been held over the telephone or a videoconference. This seems to happen multiple times a year.

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Hot John Darling’s Daughter-on-Boy Lisa Action

Two panels of Jess and Darin making out. I don’t think we needed two panels of them making out in the entire history of this strip, let alone back to back on one day. And I really don’t like Batiuk making us thing about what Darin’s breath tastes like.
Tomorrow’s strip: Darin and Jess are undressing each other right in the middle of the concourse, and Darin says he’s glad he switched to his clean pair of Flash underwear.

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Unsurprisingly Lame

So ends the epic saga of Butter and Zanzibar. Ha. This strip being what it is I’m sure we’ll have several more storylines about that stupid thing. The movie premieres at the Valentine, Butter and Zanzibar happen to still believe and drop by the theater, Cindy and Jess win Oscars, Butter and Zanzibar tell Cindy and Jess about another murder they committed so they can make a sequel documentary.
This is like the third or fourth time Jess/Darin have flown cross-country this year. And it’s just as boring now as ever. I’m used to Batiuk’s incredibly low standards for this strip, but there isn’t anything remotely surprising about this. I have a feeling we’re supposed to find this all touching, which I’d be shocked and disturbed if there were any Jess/Darin shippers out there.

I would seriously love tomorrow’s strip to be Darin saying he’s at work now and can’t pick Darin up, so maybe she should’ve called ahead of time.

 

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This Comic is All Catch

It took me a little while to realize that’s supposed to be Cindy, what with the prominent bags under her eyes and the abrupt change in hair color, much grayer than it used to be. I wonder if the artist realized that Cindy and Jess, visually, were both basically just “hot young blonde” and realized Cindy needed to look older for some reason.
What is Jess even doing in Hollywood anymore? Is she still working on the stupid documentary about her dad? I think if she missed her family so much, she could do the work back in Ohio, since apparently all it consists of is sitting in front of soundboard and computer monitors with no mouse or keyboard in sight next to a Buddy Blog “journalist” for some reason.
And why does Jess think there’s some catch? The people in this comic fly back and forth between Ohio and California at the drop of a hat.

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O2 Stupid

Prepare to re-enter the Funkyverse. Return all brains to the “off” position

Ho-ho-ho! Take THAT, airline industry! Always nickle and diming the hell out of the little guy, amirite? Luggage, peanuts, oxygen…is there anything those vultures don’t charge you for these days? Why I remember back in the day when flying was fun and glamorous and the sexy stewardesses would hand out food, booze, smokes and candy like it was candy…back before technology stole our souls and turned us into a nation of chullo-wearing….(zzzzzzzzzz).

Ooops, drifted off there. Yeah, it’s probably not the worst FW gag ever (as if) and the always objectionable Dinkle doesn’t say anything or contort his face into an obnoxious cackle, so there’s that. It’s pretty rare, so savor it.

Coming on Monday (minor spoilers): A distraught Becky stumbles into band practice. A student reminds her to sterilize her trombone mouthpiece.

“Band Director For Life Harry Dinkle’s plane was shot down over a large pig feces retention pond in North Carolina. It spun in…there were no survivors.”

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