Tag Archives: Star Wars

I Wish This Was All in Batiuk’s Imagination

I’m sure asking someone if you’re currently dreaming or your very life is somehow an imaginary story in front of a crowd and on camera will do wonders for Flash’s reputation.
This is just so dumb on so many levels. Batiuk can’t resist making everything into some kind of comic book reference or “joke”. Phil has apparently literally come back from the dead and is reunited with his former coworker/friend, and this is what Batiuk does with that moment? Instead of going with something genuinely emotional, or maybe explaining how he’s not dead anymore, he decides to criticize other people’s comic book writing? This is just sad.
At this point, why not just have Lisa randomly show back up alive next Monday?

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Return of the Phil

This doesn’t quite seem to be how normal people would react to someone randomly returning from the dead. (I know it’s a waste of time expecting people to act normal in this strip, but still). I absolutely believe that if someone in the Batiukverse did spontaneously, inexplicably return from the dead, the first thing they would do would be seek out the nearest comic convention and ruin an event honoring someone else.
Boy, is Les going to be pissed with Lisa shows up and ruins the Lisa’s Legacy Run this year.

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Are They At Comic-Con?

So I guess Flash and Ruby are the entirety of the panel? Again, I would think if you’re hosting a panel discussion with two people, you would notify (or ask) them first rather then counting on their coworkers to let them know, but I’m not a comics professional, so what do I know.
I do like how the Unnamed Moderator was able to actually give specifics about Ruby’s work, but what he’s saying about Flash sounds like the kind of thing you’d say if you were called on stage to give a speech about a total stranger.
I really have no clue at all what the sentence in the last panel is supposed to mean, though.

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Ooh, That Smell

In today’s strip, a little man asks someone what time a panel is, and gets the answer “later”, which is not helpful at all. Also, the little man is somehow smoking through a mask, despite there clearly being no hole or any way for him to do so.
I’m very amused by Flash suddenly recognizing the little man’s cigar smoke. Unless this was what Flash was smelling as his parents were gunned down in an alley after taking him to see a movie, I’m kind of shocked that he would recognize that smell and find it remarkable enough to comment on. “I know we’re at the biggest comic convention in the world where I’m about to receive the biggest honor of my life, but what about that smell, huh?”

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Landing at Bore-mandy

Blah blah blah today’s strip… blah blah blah Phil Holt… blah blah blah comic books… blah blah blah The Subterranean… blah blah blah yackity smackity…

Meanwhile… *stupid cloud bubble panel border that TB inexplicably thinks should indicate an in-strip shift from one place to another*

Everyone’s 5th favorite Stooge, “Curly-Joe” DeRita, and Darth Vader himself are hanging out at Ye Olde Comic Shoppe. What’s that all about? Spacemanspiff85 is going to be our guide as we find out (provided we do in the next two weeks). Thoughts and prayers, man, thoughts and prayers.

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Attack of the Clowns

Link to today’s strip.

“What should I do with this Santa hat? It’s red and kind of cheerful. Should I throw it in the trash?”

I hope K-2SO is suitable mortified to appear in Funky Winkerbean. I’m not sure why he’s making an appearance at all, other than Batiuk recounting his re-reading of Isaac Asimov’s “robot” stories. Which begs the question, why isn’t this Isaac from the Starbuck Jones comics? It’s one of Batiuk’s own creations, and he certainly hasn’t let up on the Starbuck Jones horn much since that was introduced. Maybe, as Red Letter Media would say, Batiuk is subverting our expectations.

Of course, K-2SO is not an Asimov robot, he’s a Star Wars droid. Who appeared in a movie, not in a comic book*, but I guess John’s shop is just an emporium for all kinds of pop culture ephemera. I wanted to say “garbage” but in the spirit of the season I’m being nice.

*Yes, there probably was a comic book adaptation of Rogue One, but considering how far Star War‘s fortunes have fallen since 2016, I doubt a lot of people are hunting it down…especially if the so-called “time jump” means that Rogue One opened fourteen years ago. And double yes, there are far older properties that are still celebrated, but I don’t think Rogue One is going to join that list. It’s a decent film in a franchise that has better entries. Funky Winkerbean should aspire so high.

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Pity Party for Two.

Link to Today’s Comic.

It seems that Darin and Jess weren’t in yesterday’s strip because Darin stomped out in a huff after not getting his coveted award. After all, and Eisner has been the lifelong dream of this business major who only fell into storyboarding after a friend suggested it offhand.

Tommy Bats seems hesitant to put this bitterness in the mouth of Les, sainted as he is by association. He’s lately split his author avatar in two. The younger Darin can be the raw id of jealousy, anger, and pride. Les is the older and ‘wiser’ superego so his response to defeat is depression, self-pity, and fatalism.

The Han Solo joke is so throwaway, the ghost of a reminder this was supposed to be Batiuk’s Comic-Con tie in strip for the year.

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Boy Howdy

Link to today’s strip

A female FW character talking about playing a strong female comic book character in a movie. Oh my, that’s just priceless, especially when it’s a female FW character with all the emotional strength of a lost puppy with its head caught in a sewer grate. An alarmingly delicate and naive waif who’s built like a Wheat Thin…maybe that’s Cartoon Conan’s type but sorry there BanTom, you blew the chance to create a buxom marriage-ruining boffo box-office sex vixen movie star character right around when you had this one trying to kill herself over seeing a candid picture of herself kissing Mason Jarre on the cheek. It’s too late to go back now, so have Cartoon Conan put it back in his pants.

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Groot Expectations

SoSfDavidO here! And here’s an early link to today’s strip, as I’m heading out to a re-enactment of William Henry Harrison’s inauguration speech this weekend and won’t be back until Monday morning.

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Daddy Issues

Link to today’s strip.

Well, this one is just terrible.  I mean, this is the sort of strip that no one wants to read, because no one would find it funny, endearing, smart, or containing anything worthwhile at all.  It’s not even a solid waste of the two seconds taken to read it; it’s just another needle jabbed into the soul.   It’s the epitome of laziness for this laziest of strips.  It’s depressing…so I guess, touche, Mr. Batiuk.

Oh well, they’re not paying me to stare at this, waiting for something to happen, so here goes.  First, we have a jokey greeting that was a tired cliche back in the nineties, still being perpetuated here in the technical vastness of the future.  Crazy’s Grecian Formula seems to be paying off, as he doesn’t look nearly as ancient and decrepit as he usually does–though to be honest he looks more like Obi-Wan from the prequels than Luke.  (Ah, the Star Wars prequels.  Truly, entertainment suited to the Funkyverse.  If anyone should make a Funky Winkerbean movie, it’ll be George Lucas.)

Secondly, we have the whole crowd, including Holly, smirking and guffawing at this display of hilarity.  Hell, a green-haired woman in the back is so amused her face is shattering.  And a couple on the far right who appear to have dashed to Comic Con directly from their wedding–she hasn’t even taken off her veil–are staring in awe at the spectacle unfolding before them.  “See?  I told you this would be better than some dumb ol’ cruise!”

Finally, we have Comic Book John, offering one of those lines that sitcom and/or greeting-card writers would turn up their noses at.  “Only at Comic Con!” looks like it’s supposed to be a thumbs up to the event, but it comes off as a thumbed nose.

Bleah, I tell you.  Bleah.  I try to avoid criticizing Tom Batiuk personally (try, I said) but this episode is good evidence that he doesn’t care and isn’t interested in trying.

It’s also evidence of dishonesty.  What he has presented here, an episode which wallows in maudlin sentimentality, is exactly the sort of strip that he would sneer at in another comic for being frivolous and avoiding the true issues of the day.  He’d probably say it’s not serious work if these people are having fun, they should be dying of cancer.  (School play, anyone?)

Well, that oughta go a ways toward earning my paycheck.  Hey, wait a minute–they’re not paying me at all!

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