Tag Archives: Harriet

Raisin The Bar…Lowering The Standards

Link to today’s strip

For what seems like the thousandth day in a row I have no idea what the gag here is supposed to be. Are the background anon-o-characters supposed to be characters I’d recognize? “Immaculate metro stations”…huh? There’s no “joke” here, again. And not only that, there’s no “story” either. Color me totally baffled. I even visited the official FW blog just to see if maybe something there would shed a little light on whatever the hell is going on here but (of course) there’s no help there unless you’re looking for way, way too much information on fictional comic book covers. All in all one of the most pointless FW arcs ever and that includes the band box arc AND the Food Film scam.

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Uniformly Awful

Link to today’s strip

Speaking of uniform, every single Dinkle strip is exactly the same. Premise, premise, sub-moronic Dinkle punchline delivered with grotesque cackle as background characters look on bemusedly. Yeah Harry, if this Van Houten guy hadn’t discovered how to make chocolate more palatable you wouldn’t have been able to sell chocolate to raise money for (sigh) band uniforms…what an incredible lucky break for you. And if early man hadn’t discovered how to kill, behead and eat large birds you’d have been shit out of luck on Thanksgiving too. Who the f*ck THINKS this way? Does this man EVER think about anything other than marching bands and fundraisers? I guess that’s supposed to be the joke, I think. But it’s not funny enough (at all) to be the joke, unless of course you think band fundraising is inherently funny, which almost no one does. I can’t even begin to imagine what someone unfamiliar with FW would think upon reading this. Fortunately though, that scenario rarely comes up.

Coming this fall: Harry’s scheme to create band uniforms MADE of band candy is thwarted when his clarinet section goes down with a near-fatal peanut allergy. Attempts to design peanut product-free band uniforms prove futile.

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Unlike FW And Humor, For Example

Link to today’s strip

What? I have no idea why this is supposed to be funny. Totally irrelevant punch line, no wordplay, just a strange inexplicable statement that, based on the reactions of the characters, is apparently supposed to be a joke of some sort. “Candy and culture go hand in hand”…I suppose his daffy marching band antics might pass for “culture” in Westview but even that’s a real stretch. And it still doesn’t make this a real joke either.

That third panel is definitely one of the more bizarre FW panels of the year so far from an artistic perspective. Harriet and Prince Chocula manage to muster polite smiles as a clearly deranged and out-of-touch Dinkle makes an ass of himself within seconds with his bizarre babbling. He looks completely insane there, it’s the drooping eyelids that really send it over the top IMO.

Culture. Candy. Hands…nope. I still don’t see how this is a joke. Apparently the mere concept of band candy sends BanTom into hysterics, but that’s a discussion best saved for another day.

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O2 Stupid

Prepare to re-enter the Funkyverse. Return all brains to the “off” position

Ho-ho-ho! Take THAT, airline industry! Always nickle and diming the hell out of the little guy, amirite? Luggage, peanuts, oxygen…is there anything those vultures don’t charge you for these days? Why I remember back in the day when flying was fun and glamorous and the sexy stewardesses would hand out food, booze, smokes and candy like it was candy…back before technology stole our souls and turned us into a nation of chullo-wearing….(zzzzzzzzzz).

Ooops, drifted off there. Yeah, it’s probably not the worst FW gag ever (as if) and the always objectionable Dinkle doesn’t say anything or contort his face into an obnoxious cackle, so there’s that. It’s pretty rare, so savor it.

Coming on Monday (minor spoilers): A distraught Becky stumbles into band practice. A student reminds her to sterilize her trombone mouthpiece.

“Band Director For Life Harry Dinkle’s plane was shot down over a large pig feces retention pond in North Carolina. It spun in…there were no survivors.”

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Adventures In Chocolateering

Click here to find the fruit

Well, he’s resuming one of FW’s twenty thousand dangling plot threads, so that’s something. Unfortunately, though, it’s this one. Dinkle and his perpetually-ignored wife are traveling to Belgium to cash in big-time on Dinkle’s outrageous WHS band candy scam, but unfortunately for both Harry is a complete imbecile whose devotion to marching bands has left him totally unable to perform simple everyday tasks like a regular person. And because this is FW and he’s dealing with a government agency (at the airport no less), incompetence, annoyances and non-stop hassles are in store for everyone…including FW readers…assuming there are any, of course.

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All Things Must Passport

Harriet (or the Dinkles’ talking car) expresses disbelief over the waiting time required to process passport requests. I don’t have a fake nor a real passport either; I agree with Harry that a fake passport could take less time but am also pretty sure that for travel purposes, it would be even more useless than today’s punchline.

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Losing Track

Programming note: SoSF’s 7th Anniversary draws nigh! In honor of the occasion, we’ve brought back the “randomized page headers” that were such a hit a year ago. Enjoy, and stay tuned for an anniversary giveaway! Stay Funky.


The series of inconvenient events continues
as Dinkle and Dinklette must travel somewhere outside of Westview to a town that still has a post office. And what at what post office/bureau of motor vehicles/doctor’s office/retail store/fitness center/old folks home in the Funkiverse are you not greeted by a miserable, sarcastic, unattractive person who proceeds to insult you to your face?

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