I Didn’t Catch the Name of the Parade

I’m confused, is Dinkle excited about this event he just participated in? I think it’s a party, or a parade, or something? I’m not sure, this comic is so subtle and definitely doesn’t spend day after day repeating the same premise, it’s hard to catch all the details sometimes.  Seriously, by this point I feel like anyone who was ambivalent or indifferent about the parade probably hates it by now.
So, Dinkle liked the parade, and he’s happy with Harriet. Based on this strip’s history, tomorrow he’ll be telling her he expects her to put out now.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

29 responses to “I Didn’t Catch the Name of the Parade

  1. Y. Knott

    All credit to Chuck Ayers: in panel three, that’s definitely the face of a woman who is thinking “Only a few more steps to go, Harry. The giant bear trap I’ve been luring you towards is ju-u-u-u-st up ahead. That’s right….a little further, and I’ll be the one making an “in step” pun … as the bear trap slices right through your instep!”

    • Rusty Shackleford

      I imagined her thinking to herself: “Walking together? I was glad your gigs got you out of the house for weeks on end! “

      Maybe Harriet can get Dinkle to go down to the Dale Evans and sit with the other old guys.

  2. William Thompson

    Do Batiuk or Ayers ever have second thoughts about the artwork? Don’t they ever find it a bit off, like now? Because in that last panel Dinkle looks like a leering, decrepit Lugosi about to put the bite on Stephen Furst. Oh boy, this isn’t great!

  3. Sourbelly

    Next panel, Harry chews Holly’s face off. It’s OK – nobody will miss her.

  4. Gerard Plourde

    We’re still rehashing the Tournament of Roses Parade? Do we still have four days of Dinkle? This is worse padding than the week it took for Linda to open the letter from the NFL.

  5. J.J. O'Malley

    Harry’s Original Panel Three Word Balloon: “We’ve been in step together the whole…Hey,wait a minute! You’re not my wife and dedicated fan, Harriet Dinkle! You’re a young Chicago-based film critic Roger Ebert!”

  6. ComicBookHarriet

    I have nothing to say about today’s strip that won’t be said better by our crazy commenters.

    But I did want to put a plug in for the 2021 Worthy Awards voting currently up on Mary Worth and Me! Did YOU think dogs were great!? Let everyone know with your votes!

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Love the Worthies! I voted yesterday and yes I do think dogs are great. But the best story of 2021 was the white trash girls fighting. That story got cut short so we could have more of Estelle and Wilbur…bleh…

      I wish we could have a similar event here where we vote on the best story, etc.

      • Y. Knott

        Be careful what you wish for … this might involve having to re-experience moments (or entire plot arcs) of FW you had blessedly forgotten!

    • Perfect Tommy

      If Estelle had said yes, would they be registered at Pet Smart?
      Dodged a bullet there.

  7. Banana Jr. 6000

    The only thing we ever see Harriet do is cater to Dinkle’s every last whim. She’s a lot like Cayla, and her role as Les’ enabler. So this isn’t romantic or cute at alll.

  8. I have a feeling Batiuk was expecting a lot more attention and praise than he got. Hence the endless dragging out of this story.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      It’s like Batiuk assumed Dinklemania would be taking over America this week, and made sure he had in-universe content ready to match it. I wonder if he kept his personal calendar open this week, to be available for the morning talk shows when they inevitably called to arrange an interview.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Well that moment has passed and on his blog he has already moved on with a new post today. Now he is comparing himself to The Beatles and their creative talent.

        Nobody cares Tom because the finished product sucked. Maybe you should seek other people’s advice before running with the first idea that pops into your head.

        • The Duck of Death

          Oh, lord. I thought you might be exaggerating, but no. He compares himself to the Beatles preparing Sgt. Pepper, Springsteen nurturing Nebraska, and Andrew Wyeth to boot.

          • Banana Jr. 6000

            And all this self-praise describes one of the most off-putting moments in Funky Winkerbean history: Holly taking her top off to reveal her mastectomy to a crying Lisa. And the stage directions sound like a 12-year-old trying to write a porno movie. Read it and keep your lunch down, I dare you.

          • Gerard Plourde

            “Ideas that you speak about before they’re fully formed are like little birds that then fall from the sky and lie on the ground with their feet pointing up in the air (even if you’re just talking to yourself, the universe hears; trust me on this).”

            The size of the ego that post purports to display is incredible. But, conversely, it also explains the product we’re seeing. Talking to himself implies examining the story and seeing the holes. Instead of confronting this dilemma, it appears that he writes the initial draft, sits on it for a year, and then publishes it as is.

          • Charles

            My God, that’s worse than I thought it would be. It had occurred to me that perhaps Batiuk doesn’t think about, reflect upon or examine his ideas once he comes up with them, but I couldn’t possibly imagine that he’d be so bad a writer that that was actually his method. I thought he was just lazy. This explains so much about how his stories start with a premise and then go absolutely nowhere. He can’t go big with these stories, because that would mean he’d have to think about them, and he thinks that’s bad, probably because every idea he’s had immediately falls apart at the slightest consideration. So he tries to keep it “pure” by not sullying it with reflection or refining.

            That’s how he can have the Bull’s Suicide Story primarily focus on Linda opening a letter from the NFL. That’s how he can have the Gay Prom Story be resolved not by confronting the conflict, but by avoiding it. It’s how he can burn down Los Angeles and have the only question be whether Les changes his mind about letting Marianne see Lisa’s tapes, a conflict that didn’t even exist prior to that denouement.

            And even his biggest achievement, the one thing he boasts about every chance he gets, Lisa’s Story, is nothing more than a bunch of disjointed, poorly realized vignettes that have very little to do with one another. They didn’t build to anything. They didn’t develop a theme. It was just “this happens” and then “that happens” and then “this happens again” and then finally “Lisa dies”.

            Hey Batiuk, you know those “thinking” and “considering” and “examining” and “reflecting” things that you steadfastly avoid? That you indeed praise yourself for avoiding? They’re what can make your writing actually good. An idea is nothing. It’s shit, and consequently, everything you write is shit.

            It’s a good thing he went into a medium that’s gag-a-day, since that’s about the extent that his method would allow. Too bad he didn’t stay there.

            Honestly, after reading that, I have to wonder if it’s even worth reading any of his strips anymore, even just to snark them. Just thinking about them enough to put them in some sort of context to snark them is more work than he’s done on them himself.

  9. Maxine of Arc


  10. billytheskink

    The third panel should have been Harriet saying “You really could have, Harry. You really should have.”

  11. Banana Jr. 6000

    Oh look, they’re in step literally, and then they’re in step figuratively! Mr. It’s Called Writing strikes again.

  12. Banana Jr. 6000

    And TB has finally updated his blog, three days after his world-altering appearance in the Rose Parade. It’s about how special Lisa’s cancer story was.

    • Tom from Finland

      The blog really gives a feeling of huge dissappointment.
      It would have been nice to at least congratulate the band directors of their showmanship award and show picture of the finished float after puffing it in several blog entries, but now it`s like nothing interesting happened over the weekend and he had to do a filler post with a copy paste from a FW collection.

      • Y. Knott

        It helps explain a bit about Batiuk’s writing style, though, which is all build-up and no payoff. “All build-up and no payoff” is Batiuk’s life.

        “I’m gonna be a respected artist … I’m gonna win a Pulitzer … my creation’s gonna be on national TV where everyone will see it!” But after all the build-up? None of this ever happens.

        Fifty years of this have taught him that (at least for Batiuk) that’s what life is. I mean, in his case, it’s because the gap between his outsized storytelling ambition and his extremely limited storytelling ability is too wide to ever be reconciled. But it’s processed by Batiuk as “real life is all build-up, and there’s never any payoff.” So the lesson he’s learned from his real-life disappointments is — whether in his life or in his writing — to milk the build-up for whatever it’s worth, because build-up is all you’re ever gonna get. And when the build-up is over, just get out and move on…

        • Tom from Finland

          It didn’t occur to me to think about it like that, but i think that’s a great summary of what is going on! (and it’s sad)

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        It’s not just disappointing; it’s extremely rude.

        The Saluting Band Directors Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/BandDirectorSalute/ has repeatedly thanked Tom Batiuk for his involvement, continued to promote his comic strips through this week, and just today said “We are pleased that Harry Dinkle and his wife Harriet are spending a few extra days in Pasadena after the Rose Parade.”

        Meanwhile, the Funkyblog can’t even be bothered to congratulate them for the award they won. Even the pre-parade blog posts about the float and whatnot were never about anything except Dinkle and FW. The float’s impressive animatronics, the historical relevance of being the first combination float/band entry in Rose Parade history, and the band directors’ impressive resumes got no mention from Tom Batiuk, even though they did from the national TV broadcast. But don’t take my word for it: https://funkywinkerbean.com/wpblog/?s=rose+parade

        It’s no wonder FW’s “hero” characters act the way they do. They don’t actually thank their partners, they just acknowledge their existence once in awhile. “We’ve been in step the whole way” is empty, self-serving horseshit, and any real woman would realize that. Ditto for Les’ ” I’ve learned to appreciate what I have” and Pete’s “you complete me, Mindy.” We’ve seen enough of all three of these relationships to know they’re one-way streets.

  13. be ware of eve hill

    Dinkle: We’ve been in step together the whole way.

    Missing fourth panel
    Dinkle: My way.

  14. Epicus Doomus

    Schmaltzy sentimentality… one of Batom’s favorite crutches. Blech.