Tag Archives: comma eyes

by billytheskink | December 19, 2021 · 10:30 pm

The Gig Haiku-nomy

Over the river
And through the woods, to Morton's
Nursing home we go

Funky knows the way
As he skids on through Copley
In the driving snow

…..

But wait, he's not there?!
As we learn in today's strip
No, he's got a gig

Kinda surprising
That blonde has not mistaken
Funky for Morton

A front desk message?
Who communicates like this?
They're father and son!

OK, to be fair
This weirdness is typical
For this comic strip

If he has a gig
Does that mean we won't have to
Endure skeezy Mort?

Morton the creepster
Has become a Batiukverse
Christmas tradition

36 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Amazon smirk, Anon-O-Character, anon-o-nurses, Batiukmobile®, Bedside Manor, Christmas, comma eyes, crippling snowfall, enraging hair strands, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, Funky's dad, Funkys, hatchet face, heavy snow, helmet hair, Holly, knowing smirks, Merry Christmas, Mort, Morton, Morton Winkerbean, Now Funky, oddly muted squiggly lines, smirk, smirks, smirks exchanged, snow, squiggly "L"s, squiggly lines, squiggly lines used to denote texture, The Bedside Manorisms, the raptor claw in Holly's hair

by billytheskink | April 12, 2021 · 10:30 pm

I’m not on Dinkle’s side or anything, but I struggle to sympathize with the choir ladies in today’s strip. Those stern looks of disapproval are genuine and understandable, but these ladies have got to stop setting Dinkle up for this miserable gag. This is the third time they’ve walked right into it. Yes, Dinkle is insufferable and arrogant, but they’ve had plenty of time now to learn that asking him if he knows anything about a subject is a sure way to draw out that insufferableness and arrogance. If you don’t like the way he acts when baited, stop baiting him!

At least there’s no blood this time from Dinkle biting his tongue… Well, that’s not really an improvement. For a while there I thought that maybe Dinkle could be put on a path to self-destruction by frequently questioning his credentials.

26 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as ancient Dinkle gags, arcs that go on too long, choir, choir/organ, church, church ladies, comma eyes, Dinkle, fundraising, giant mouths, Harry Dinkle, hatchet face, Lillian, mouths way too low on the face, old Harry Dinkle, recycled gags, St. Spires, things that take an unnecessarily long time, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs

by billytheskink | April 9, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Here Comes Inspiration!

Well, we aren’t reviewing individual pages of The Flash #123 in today’s strip, I guess we’ll pick that up next week. I’m kidding about that last part, let’s not actually pick this up next week, please. Please…

I’d admire Batton’s commitment to enjoying reading his favorite comics to the point that he’s essentially worn out what is now a very valuable comic book in good condition… but willingness to appreciate consumable art in a consumable way instead of foolishly betting on a longbow retirement plan is not what this dead snail of a story arc is about. It is, ostensibly, about drawing inspiration from The Flash #123, but we have seen no evidence of that. Batton just keeps saying nice things about the issue in increasingly dumb and boring ways. There is barely a hint of how or why #123 was such an inspiration, just the vague reference to “a plan”. Speaking of… are we ever going to hear about Batton’s plan? Do we even want to?

No, and no. So, what am I complaining for?

26 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as arcs where nothing happens, Batman, Batman logo, Batton Thomas, Captain America, comic book cover, Comic Book tribute, comic books, comics, comma eyes, Dead Skunk Head, DSH John, DSH's neck-hand, fallout shelter sign, fat fingering, hatchet face, huge hands, inexplicably happy people, it actually happened!, John, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, nostalgia, Punisher, The Flash, things that make you seriously regret ever starting to read FW in the first place

by billytheskink | April 6, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Flash has reached end of life status

Today’s strip gives us our first glimpse at a young Batton Thomas… back when he had the hair of a newscaster, the jaw of Rob Riggle, and the neck of something that doesn’t have a neck. Quite a contrast to today’s sad-sack Batton, who looks like he could be Pete’s dad (he’s not, John Darling program director Reed Roberts is). Trading that plaid seersucker jacket for a blue Members Only was a good call, though.

So The Flash #123 inspired Batton Thomas (and, most definitely, one Thomas Batiuk as well) to become a cartoonist, eh? How, exactly did it do that? If we are lucky we’ll get that answer in 6-10 business days. Or just visit the official Funky Winkerbean blog, where TB writes more about The Flash than he does about his own creations… Haha, yeah, you all go do that. I’ll wait.

33 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as author avatar, Batton Thomas, comic book cover, Comic Book tribute, comic books, comics, comma eyes, creepiness, creepy, Dead Skunk Head, exposition, flashback, hatchet face, inexplicably happy people, John, Komix Korner, misplaced nostalgia for things that weren't all that great to begin with, nostalgia, photo album corners, porch swing, possibly Battom Thomas, ridiculous clothes, The Flash, untied shoes, weird noses

by billytheskink | January 22, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Eye Do Not Care Anymore

Is Funky telling the truth in today’s strip? Last time we saw him get a physical was in early 2017, when he and Holly flew to Dallas (sure…) to visit a so-called “superclinic” (sure… again) for physicals. Well, Holly claimed it was an annual physical back then, so maybe the Winkerbeans’ annual January Dallas superclinic physical trip just recently happened. Not sure when that would have been, we’ve seen Funky and/or Holly every single week so far this month…

Oh wait, none of that matters. Nurse Scrunchie doesn’t care about Funky’s physical health, she just needs to know if he can afford to pay for his cataract surgery. What a scathing and original commentary on the American healthcare system! Groundbreaking stuff!

14 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as "jokes" that aren't really jokes at all, Anon-O-Character, anon-o-nurses, arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, Bad medical news, carrot cake, comma eyes, complaining, complete lack of humor, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, dull stories, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, gags that amuse only one person, gags that go on way too long, half-assed political commentary, hatchet face, manila folder, medical professionals, Now Funky, Nurse Greenhair, old gags from the 1970's, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, scrunchie, tags you never thought you'd use, unnatural hand gestures, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs, very old gags

by billytheskink | January 21, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Eye am about out of eye puns

And eye (ugh) *s-eye* (no no no) *sigh* (that’s better) sorry… I am about out of patience with this anti-majestic glacier of a story line. Every single thing in today’s strip happened in yesterday’s strip as well. I’m not sure even Garfield or Family Circus recycle at this level… I don’t know if this will help, but I have cut the 62 words in these last two strips down to 20 in an attempt to make this never-ending story stronger and more concise.

Dr. Droopy: Cataract surgery is pretty common nowadays.  It is quite safe and not especially complicated.
Funky: I'm worried! WORRIED, I TELLS YA!

19 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, awful dialog, Bad medical news, boredom personified, bug-eyes, comma eyes, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, glib doctors, hatchet face, manila folder, medical professionals, Now Funky, oddly muted squiggly lines, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, recycled gags, sad-sackery, squiggly eyebrows, squiggly lines, squiggly lines used to denote texture, stupid, things that make you seriously regret ever starting to read FW in the first place, tiny hands, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, unnatural hand gestures, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs, weird noses

by billytheskink | January 20, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Eye-ku

No need to induce
To put folks in a coma
Just use today's strip

Dramatic Funky
Or is he? Lest we forget
His time warp coma

Here's a third haiku
It is here to fill up space
Like this story arc

17 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Anon-O-Character, arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, Bad medical news, boredom personified, comma eyes, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, endless tedium, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, glib doctors, manila folder, medical professionals, mustache, Now Funky, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, things that never end, unnatural hand gestures, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs, weak sarcasm

by billytheskink | January 19, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Eye vey iz mir!

Oh, so we’re back to the jokez! in today’s strip. If we’ve learned anything in the last week and a half, it is that Dr. Droopy and Funky both are willing to dish out this cornpone but neither is willing to take it (in fact, I would argue that this is quite literally the only thing we have learned in the last week and a half).

Well, as they say, “write what you know”… Certainly no one can claim that TB doesn’t know hypocrisy.

14 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, Bad medical news, comma eyes, complaining, Complete Worthless Ass, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, dumb clothing jokes, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, gags that go on way too long, glib doctors, hypocrisy, manila folder, medical professionals, Now Funky, Old dying people, old gags from the 1970's, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, sarcasm, Sarcastic Old Bastard, sheer idiocy, smirk, smirks, smirks exchanged, stupid, surliness, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, tiny hands, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs, very old gags, weak sarcasm

by billytheskink | January 18, 2021 · 10:30 pm

¡Eye Caramba!

I apologize that the post title significantly oversells the drab discharge that is today’s strip. Funky has cataracts, just like many people over age 65. Cataracts make it hard to see clearly, as Dr. Droopy so helpfully informs us. Will Funky and Dr. Droopy decide what to do about these cataracts by Saturday? If you care about the answer to that question, please seek help.

33 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as "jokes" that aren't really jokes at all, arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, boredom personified, comma eyes, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, four eyes, glib doctors, Old dying people, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, sad-sackery, sheer idiocy, stupid, the inevitable ravages of age, the ravages of age, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs

by billytheskink | January 17, 2021 · 10:30 pm

Eye Cannot Believe It

If today’s post title didn’t tip you off already, I will warn you here and now that we are NOT done with Funky’s visit to the eye doctor in today’s strip. You don’t need to read it. You don’t want to read it. As much as I generally hope to see lots of comments on this site, I won’t be remotely offended if there isn’t a single comment posted today.

What is there even to say? That this whole strip could have been avoided had Funky just answered the doctor’s question in last Friday’s strip? There, I said it. Tune in tomorrow for more warnings, probably.

17 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as anon-o-nurses, arcs that go on too long, arcs where nothing happens, boredom personified, comma eyes, complaining, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, doctor guy, doctors, Droopy, dull stories, four eyes, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, glib doctors, idiocy, incessant complaining, Now Funky, Nurse Greenhair, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, really dumb questions, scrunchie, sheer idiocy, stupid, unneccessarily long arcs, very long arcs, waiting for things not worth waiting for

Tag Archives: comma eyes

The Gig Haiku-nomy

Parish the thought

Here Comes Inspiration!

Flash has reached end of life status

Eye Do Not Care Anymore

Eye am about out of eye puns

Eye-ku

Eye vey iz mir!

¡Eye Caramba!

Eye Cannot Believe It

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