Tag Archives: comma eyes

by billytheskink | November 16, 2022 · 10:30 pm

What’s in your head, in your head? Ruby, Ruby, Ruby-y-y-y

I’d argue that today’s strip is the product of an AI tasked with generating images for the word “wistful”… but that’s an insult to artificial intelligence and I don’t want to be responsible for unleashing Skynet. This is just completely sad, but in the stupidest way.

Mindy is the one that really punches up the stupidity here. First, “when” Ruby retires is essentially right now, it doesn’t need to be discussed as if it is well in the future. Second, Mindy also draws a paycheck from Atomik Komix… so does she dramatically underestimate the financial resources it takes to travel extensively or does Chester really pay that well?

And if Chester pays that well, why can’t he spend some money on an office that doesn’t look like a dungeon crawl game being played on a vintage grayscale Macintosh? Maybe everything in the office is made of stone. So that’s why they called him “Chester the Chiseler”!

94 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as arcs where nothing happens, Atomik Komix, Batton, Batton Thomas, boredom personified, Chester, Chester's 'intrigued' face, comic books, comics, comma eyes, curmudgeonly oldsters, disembodied hand, Dreadfully unimaginable scenarios, enraging hair strands, eyelids, gradient voids, gray ashen landscape, hatchet face, labored setup, lack of imagination run amok, Mindy, muppet profile, Old dying people, pen, pencil, pens, retirement, Ruby, Ruby Lith, seldom-seen characters wearing hats, silhouette, silhouettes, tags you never thought you'd use, travelin, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, unnatural hand gestures, wistfulness

by billytheskink | November 6, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Damate Climage

Much thanks to Banana Jr. 6000 for slogging through Summer’s ludicrous Could Be A Book Deal Here moment over these past two weeks… which, despite revealing that Montoni’s is apparently closing (!!!) and launching Summer off to interview countless uninteresting people who appeared in this strip 30-40+ years ago, does NOT continue in today’s strip. I’m not mad about that or anything, but I am surprised.

But should I really be surprised? Over the past 5 years or so we’ve seen TB shift well away from the two workplace communities (Westview High School and Montoni’s) that have defined this strip for pretty much all of its existence, largely replacing them with this new one he’s created at Atomik Komix (toss in the Komix Korner scenes and the shift is even more pronounced). If you had told me 5 years ago that comic books would somehow become MORE important in this comic strip in the near future I wouldn’t have believed it possible. But it is and they are, as very clearly evidenced by today’s strip in which TB’s latest issue du jour has taken on even more critical importance because it has now directly affected his author avatar’s sad little comic-obsessed world.

P.S. – I am now refusing to use the asinine term for climate change that TB continues to flog even though no one else on the planet uses it. I’m going to call it damate climage or climage damate or issue du jour or nothing at all for the rest of this story arc and the foreseeable future. I am aware this is stupid, but it is not as stupid as the term I’m refusing to use. Thank you in advance for your understanding.

88 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Atomic Komix, Atomik Komix, author avatar, Batom's bizarre comic book fantasy world, Batton, Batton Thomas, binders, bullpen, Captain Silver Age, climate change, climate damage, comic books, comics, comma eyes, contempt for comic book nerds, dismal world view, first world problems, Flash treadmill, four eyes, gray ashen landscape, Komix Korner, Mopey Pete, mysterious drawers, not how the world works, not the way the world works, Pete, Pete's Plaid Shirt, Pineapple computers, running ideas into the ground, the comic book industry, The Inedible Pulp, treadmills

by billytheskink | August 16, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Where there’s an ill there’s a way

So much for Summer’s reappearance… with today’s strip we’re now seven panels removed from Monday’s “Hey Harry! What Brings?” with no end in sight to the sepia-toned sadness blocking Ms. Moore from view. If that’s not bad enough for poor Summer, Lisa can’t be bothered to even mention “her daughter” by name in the word salad she spits out in panel 2.

Are we headed toward another unnecessary and uninteresting retcon?

For years, mankind thought they knew the origin of the Lisa tapes… but they were WRONG.
WHAT IF… recording an incessant number of Lisa’s final few hours on earth wasn’t Les’ idea at all, but instead, the brainchild of a completely different nerdy MAN?
The TRUE origin of the Lisa tapes revealed… This August. Playing exclusively in Funky Winkerbean.
[read in movie trailer voiceover voice]

38 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Act II, Act II tragedies, awful dialog, bug-eyes, cancer, cancer films, comma eyes, Crazy, Crazy Harry, Harry, Lisa, Not Summer, ponytail, porch swing, retcon, sad-sackery, seldom-seen characters wearing hats, sepia-tone, sepia-toned flashback, smirk, smirking, Summer, Taj Moore-hal, the lisa, the Lisa tapes, trite dialog, unnatural hand gestures

by spacemanspiff85 | June 24, 2022 · 10:28 pm

Funky Likes Food

“Who cares about my son getting married, I’m hungry!“. Get it, everyone? Funky is fat, and apparently doesn’t give a crap about his family. Did Batiuk just skip right over the actual ceremony, or is everyone just posing for the photos beforehand? If that’s the case, then Funky isn’t eating any time soon.
I really hope Funky is blurting this all out really, really loudly, just stealing all the focus onto himself. I also like that Holly ask to ask for clarification about Funky’s comment, rather than just assuming the wedding is his dream come true, like any rational person would.

28 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as camera, Carla, comma eyes, Cory, Darin, flowers, Funky, glasses, Holly, Rocky, soldier, the looming wedding

by billytheskink | May 28, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Stropp me if you’ve heard this one before

Today’s strip recalls one of the very last things that ever appeared in Act I… and uses it to mourn the death of print media? Look, I dunno what’s going on in the last panel, but I can tell you what happened in flashback panels.

After bumming everyone out with his awful valedictorian speech, Les just… hung out in the auditorium until everyone left, sulking in the unfulfillment of getting a high school diploma.

^{This would have been a perfect time for “Mooch” Myers to burn the school down.}

Then he headed out to the “Student Council Graduation Party” in the middle school gym, as seen in today’s flashback, finding the place deserted aside from Coach Stropp.

^{Be glad Les doesn’t narrate his life any more.}

Why was the Student Council Graduation Party a dumb idea? Why was the party deserted?

^{You couldn’t draw Coach Stropp’s resplendent jacket in today’s flashback, Ayers? For shame…}

Yep, Cindy held a huge graduation party at the mall that everybody attended… including MTV VJ Karen “Duff” Duffy and some poor souls who entered an MTV contest to win a free trip to Westview.

^{…and they call the show that dominates MTV’s schedule now Ridiculousness.}

Les, however, sat in the middle school gym with his free copy of the yearbook, reminiscing about the good times he had with his friends in high school rather than going and actually spending time with him. After a week’s worth of strips of this, Act II began…

I do not know if next week will time warp us into Act IV or not, but I do know I will be leaving this site in the skilled hands (and mind) of ComicBookHarriet. Godspeed.

48 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Act I, Act I call-backs, anon-o-students, badly taped signs, bearded dick with ears, bricks, bricks WHS, Cayla, Cayla's pink shirt, Coach Stropp, comma eyes, crowd, flashback, gym, horseplay, Jack Stropp, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les. Cayla, poorly taped signs, recycled gags, sad-sackery, smug inept bearded jerks, swimming, technology, very old gags, water, water bottles

by billytheskink | May 26, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Modest Louse

I neither understand nor care what Les is droning on about in today’s strip, though I do find it hard to believe any student would invite him to a graduation party… including this one. Les was invited to Montoni’s alcohol-free graduation party in ’98 (not by a student), it was about as well-attended as you would expect.

^{If the party is alcohol-free, then why are they switching from present to past tense mid-sentence?}

Cayla, for her part, is a strange combination of scandalized by a swimsuit style that has been fairly common and quite popular for half a century and nonchalant about seeing her younger self galavanting merrily beside the (time?) pool.

42 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as anon-o-students, balloons, bottled water, Cayla, comma eyes, dull stories, flying music notes, graduation party, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les. Cayla, music, poor female characters, sad-sackery, smug inept bearded jerks, Squick, sunglasses, swimming, tiny trees, trees, uninteresting stupid anecdotes, water, water bottles

by billytheskink | May 25, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Fortune Dweller

Uh… Cayla, had you met your husband before today’s strip?! Good feeling… ha! You’d get a “ha ha” if that was genuinely funny.

THIS, by the way, is why Les is (rightfully) not allowed to speak at graduations…

^{Where were you when Lisa was recording, Marge’s significant other?}

^{Note: Barry Balderman didn’t leave WHS because he was bullied or ignored, he left because he was obsessed with being valedictorian and had a nervous breakdown after he overheard Principal Fred Fairgood say that Cindy had the highest GPA in the class. What he did not overhear was that Fred was making a dumb joke that GPA stood for “Greatest Popularity of All”. Les earned those boos and then some.}

Lest you think that WHS might make the mistake of letting Les speak at graduation again because everyone who was in the administration when he was a student is retired… They aren’t.

I’m half certain that (then vice-) principal Nate has committed to work at the high school until he (or Les) dies in order to make sure that Les never steps in front of a graduation ceremony microphone ever again.

45 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Anon-O-Character, anon-o-character with oddly-shaped head, Anon-O-Characters, anon-o-students, bearded dick with ears, Cayla, clueless students, comma eyes, Complete Worthless Ass, constant misery, disillusionment, four eyes, heavy-handedness, Inappropriate quotes, LBD, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' Slob-ass Tie, Les. Cayla, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, random students, sad-sackery, smug poses, squiggly eyebrows, traveling green shirt, unbearable smugness, Westview H.S., Westview High School, WHS

by TFHackett | April 27, 2022 · 10:30 pm

The Eliminatrix

sorialpromise
April 26, 2022 at 11:10 pm
As great as our bloggers and posters are on SOSF, we still need material. That is Mr. Batiuk’s job. Boy has he failed his best audience…there are no nits to pick…Someday soon, Mr. Batiuk will raise his level of mediocrity back up to our standards.

Here’s a reminder why your friends here at SoSF limit ourselves and one another to to two-week shifts. Because you get strips like today’s strip that do nothing to advance the plot, such as it is. And Harry didn’t exactly say Donna was the better gamer; only that she “usually” posted a high score.

“You have no idea” must be the wacky catchphrase around the Klinghorn household.

While these three panels only serve to pad out this limping story arc through Saturday, they’re not visually unsatisfying, and yes, that is the strongest praise I can muster.

41 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as comma eyes, Crazy Harry, Donna, kitchen, smirk, spotlight background, video games, you have no idea

by billytheskink | March 10, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Special Enragement

In today’s strip, Marianne is coming off as not simply composed but rehearsed, belying the nerves and words she had just a few days ago. Or maybe Marianne is just that good of an actress and really is worthy of that Oscar… I have to admit, only a great actress could say that Mason and Lisa’s Story deserve Academy Award nominations without breaking out in riotous laughter.

Let’s look at some odds on who this Oscar-worthy “very special person” is:

100-1 Cassidy Kerr, for giving Mason points on the backend
1,000-1 “Mr. Director” Martin Johns, for keeping his head when Marianne went AWOL from the Starbuck Jones set, actually trying to reach Marianne instead of pointlessly pontificating, and then contacting the actual authorities like a sane person
1 million-1 Cable Movie Entertainment and Clay Wallace, for letting Mason pitch Lisa’s Story at another studio with no resistance after he torpedoed their Lisa production by quitting to become Starbuck Jones (nope, it ultimately wasn’t the infamous “kill fee”)
75-1 Cindy, for arranging to use Bull’s funeral as a pre-production springboard for the movie
275-1 Holly, for demanding the movie be made but not demanding her role be portrayed
50-1 Rex Morgan MD, for… uh, aren’t people always giving him things for no reason?
700-1 Cayla, for being inhumanly comfortable with being treated as a silver medal
40-1 Marianne’s oncologist, for obvious reasons
10-1 Lisa, for dying
27-1 Lisa’s oncologist, for obvious reasons
itsgonnabehim-1 Les, for absolutely no defensible reason at all

46 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Academy Awards, awards, cancer films, comma eyes, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, crowd, crowds, encroaching dread, Hollywood, impending doom, Les, Lisa, Lisa's Story Movie, Lisa's Story-The Movie, Lisa's Story, Los Angeles, Marianne, Marianne Winters, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, Mason' Marianne, Masone Jarre, movies, oh no, Oscar, Oscars, sickening dread, silly awards, unearned awards, weird noses

by TFHackett | February 28, 2022 · 10:30 pm

Legion of Dume

ComicBookHarriet
February 27, 2022 at 11:00 pm
You just introduced the Strong Force. Four villains that need to be fleshed out and differentiated. That can get you through an entire 12 issue year, if not more.

Suicide Squirrel
February 28, 2022 at 4:56 pm
New villains for the Elementals Force? Already?…Has the mighty ‘Strong Force’ already been dispatched? Were they defeated on that comic book cover before the story even started?

Pete’s eyebags threaten to engulf his prominent nose.

One of the “contemporary issues affecting young adults” that Batiuk depicts “in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner” is climate change. Jim Kablichnick has long been Batty’s go-to mouthpiece, while more recently, Funky and Les each have held forth on this important topic. Now barely three weeks after they’ved developed a personal, subatomic foe for each of their four elemental heroes, Pete hijacks the newly created franchise with a climate change angle, even leveraging his wildfire survivor cred to make his point.

35 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as Atomik Komix, bottom teeth, ceiling tiles, climate change, coffee, comma eyes, Fire, Flash Freeman, Pete, Phil Holt, real places in California, The Elementals Force, traveling green shirt

Tag Archives: comma eyes

What’s in your head, in your head? Ruby, Ruby, Ruby-y-y-y

Damate Climage

Where there’s an ill there’s a way

Funky Likes Food

Stropp me if you’ve heard this one before

Modest Louse

Fortune Dweller

The Eliminatrix

Special Enragement

Legion of Dume

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