Tag Archives: cancer

Neither can we, Marian… uh, I mean, Lisa

And we’re back to Les’s cameo in today’s strip. I dunno what that golf thing yesterday was about, but it will probably be awful and unsatisfying if it is ever revealed at all.

Having seen more of this scene, I really hope Les’ fear that his cameo will elicit knee-buckling laughter from his friends, family, and assorted other acquaintances comes true. What better time in Lisa’s Story to bust a gut than this maudlin bit where Les recaps a phone conversation Lisa had with her insensitive doctor? That’s the first and only thing about this Lisa’s Story flick that makes me want to watch it.

This strip is a nice reminder that Lisa’s second battle with cancer was full of bumbling and insensitive doctors: always mixing up important cancer charts and exhibiting awful bedside manner. What timing TB has… I cannot think of a time in my life when fewer Americans would be interested in fictional depictions of incompetent and unpleasant doctors.

And that’s it for me. I cannot say I envy spacemanspiff85, who takes over tomorrow. Good luck to you. You won’t have it, but it seems the right sentiment to express.

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Snow Job Snore

Cameras are FINALLY rolling in today’s strip, which is take 3 (why?) of the contents of this Sunday strip from January 31, 1999.

FW1-31-99

Yep, even when it was actually happening, Lisa’s story was pretty much all about Les.

Les didn’t write the script for this movie, and yet, this scene is almost verbatim what was actually said back in 1999. I guess he had nothing to fear after all as the script writer must have been clairvoyant… or perhaps just too lazy to even try to punch up a bland passage lifted wholesale from the Lisa’s Story book.

If Les cannot live through seeing actors recite his own words, he knows where the door is. Even if he somehow didn’t walk through it to get in the soundstage, maybe he parachuted in or was brought in bound and gagged inside of a trunk (my favorite theory), he saw Marianne do so.

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The Hook is She Dies

today’s strip

If you told me Batiuk was somehow writing this crap without even noticing what he was writing, I would totally believe you. Who, after being told the movie was about someone dying of cancer, would ask what the hook is and if there’s a good twist? She dies. That’s the hook, for some reason. What’s supposed to hook you in is watching someone die. And the twist is that she dies.

And Mason’s responses have nothing to do with Cass’s question. Darin wasn’t a twist or a hook, he was a boring time wasting plot device to add more melodrama. And “testifying before Congress” is neither a hook nor a twist

And how many more days of Mason being smarmy for some reason and Les being annoyed are we going to get? I know the answer is “far too many”. It’s funny how after years of being presented as just the coolest actor ever all of a sudden Mason is a Hollywood jackass, for some reason.

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So They Got Drinks After All

today’s strip
Les with his hands where nobody can see them, staring silently at a blonde woman. What else is new?
Really though, what is the point of this strip? Someone expresses condolences to Les, and he stares into space sullenly and silently? Are we supposed to think she’s silly for saying she’s sorry? Is the point that “sorry” isn’t enough, and she should be weeping and rending her clothes at Les’s feet.
You know what I love in this situation? If Cass’s next lines were “I lost my husband to cancer. And also my children.”. Take that, Les.

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Diss Master

Again: why is this meeting even taking place? Aaron and Marc, the Clone Brothers, knew that Mason wanted to make “a depressing film about a woman dying of cancer,” yet saw fit to waste their time and their sparkling water in order to tell Les to his face that this project was a no go. This whole sequence harkens back to that time that Les and Susan Smith had to face a bunch of angry Westview parents over Susan’s choice of Wit for the school play:

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Die or Die Not, There Is No Try

Today’s strip takes a pre-dick-tably maudlin turn. Like we didn’t all know “Les tries to sullenly undermine this dumb movie thing” was going to be the gist of this story arc.

Even if I wasn’t short on time to write this, I’m wouldn’t archive dive to prove that Lisa did or did not say what Les is claiming at some point in time… because I can quickly and easily point to a time when she pretty much said the exact opposite.

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He’s A Capricorn And She Had Cancer

Link To Today’s Strip

Get a load of Pulitzer (nominee) Boy, shamelessly using Christmas to plug his dusty old cancer book again. Who are the people at this event? Does “Lisa’s Story” have some sort of weird cult following or something? And assuming that these weirdos are die-hard “LS” fans, wouldn’t they have already heard this cheesy gag dozens of times? I know I have.

This is Dick Facey at his most dick faciest. Smug obnoxious gloating, sub-moronic wordplay, a snide remark AND that f*cking “Lisa’s Story” banner…he touched all the bases today. I wish I could bludgeon him with a “Trilogy” then strangle him with that conveniently-placed wreath. I don’t think this sudden year-end burst of Les bodes well for 2020 at all, my friends. We’ve been very, very fortunate over the last few years regarding Les arcs but I have the sinking feeling that run is coming to an end soon. It’s gonna be horrible, too.

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Universal Dullifier

Wow, if Holly uses her one line for the year to endorse Lisa’s Story Done Right, then it must be real important to her. I mean, yeah, her story might be interesting too, since it’s a story of raising a kid by yourself, overcoming cancer, and finding love again and remarrying, but this is all about Lisa.
Actually Holly’s story is way better than Lisa’s, to be honest. Lisa’s story is “Lisa got cancer and died”. Holly’s is about overcoming something horrible and finding new life. Which really does sound like it would make a much, much better movie. I really don’t get what’s so important or inspiring about “a fairly unlikeable woman gets cancer and dies from it” where everyone thinks it would just be amazing movie and cultural touchstone, but whatever, it’s all Lisa Lisa Lisa. Lisa. Lisa.

Can someone please explain what the deal is with Montoni’s and coffee?  Cindy and Mason don’t have coffee so it’s not breakfast time, and I don’t think Montoni’s even serves breakfast anymore.  I’d say the majority of what Cindy and Funky do there is carry around a carafe.  I think it’s just Batiuk’s way of showing “hey, these people are in a restaurant” without actually showing any real work.  Really though, “Let’s go to the pizzeria for some coffee” sounds kind of gross to me.

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