Tag Archives: non-pizza foodstuffs

Veally Lame

This strip is another in the long line of Batiuk Sunday strips that really only need to be two panels. And like usual for Batiuk, it’s a really weak joke. Mommy bag, ha ha. I kind of doubt Holly’s mom will be mentioned again anytime soon, since the only reason she is here is so Batiuk can deploy the hilarious gag he thought up. Although I really can see Holly and Funky going house shopping. That would be the right combination of tedious and misery inducing for this strip. And where are Holly and Funky eating? I thought for sure Westview just had Montoni’s and the Toxic Taco.

Thanks for putting up with me again!  Beckoning Chasm takes over tomorrow.

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Hot John Darling’s Daughter-on-Boy Lisa Action

Two panels of Jess and Darin making out. I don’t think we needed two panels of them making out in the entire history of this strip, let alone back to back on one day. And I really don’t like Batiuk making us thing about what Darin’s breath tastes like.
Tomorrow’s strip: Darin and Jess are undressing each other right in the middle of the concourse, and Darin says he’s glad he switched to his clean pair of Flash underwear.

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Spagettaboutit!

Link to today’s strip

Apologies for the late post. I decided to wait for the Sunday strip to drop, rather than blather on about something from earlier this week.

The last thing Funky needs is nutritional value. Given the weight he’s able to hold onto despite working out with a personal trainer, he must have the metabolism of a hibernating turtle.

Funky also seems to be suffering from a serious case of IMS. Irritable Male Syndrome. Spilling food on yourself often, as well as other issues with fine motor control, are probably a sign of some kind of tragic illness. Money on Parkinson’s.

Funky doesn’t take vitamins? They were paranoid enough about his health to take a trip to see a specialist together a couple years ago, but he doesn’t take a basic multivitamin? Way to go out on a limb for a non-joke.

Some really crisp linework in the strip today. No weird lobster hands, lots of detail, and weirdly dramatic shading. I mean, look at the detail out the window. And just an almost loving rendering of pasta noodles…mmmm….

Too bad the marinara looks like blood. Funky, you got red on you.

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Taco ’bout pressure

“I’ll take ‘Depictions Of Dining That Compare Unfavorably To Those Seen In Mary Worth‘ for $600, Alex.”

“This comic was drawn by someone who has never seen a real person eat a taco.”

“What is today’s strip, Alex?”

“Correct…”

“Alright, I’ll move over to ‘The Trite Lights Of Hollywood’ for $400.”

“Fictional movie star Masone Jarre compared launching a doomed comic book company to the life stages of a commonly eaten shellfish in this recent work.”

“What is today’s strip, again?”

“Correct… again.”

“I’ll take, uh… how ’bout ‘Dreck’ for $800.”

“You’ve found our first Daily Double… what do you want to risk?”

“Let’s make it a true Daily Double, Alex.”

“OK, and the answer is ‘Dreck.'”

“What is every Funky Winkerbean strip since February 2018, Alex?”

“Correct…”

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I’m Just Mad about Saffron

I would’ve bet anything that my Google skills would uncover a real-world “Saffron Indian Restaurant” in Hollywood (or even better, somewhere in Ohio’s Western Reserve) that served as a model for the restaurant in today’s strip, but I came up empty handed. Meanwhile, Les has yet another of his Hollywood illusions shattered when he discovers that the “script doctor” in whose hands his masterpiece wound up moonlights as a waiter.

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It’s What’s For Lunch

Link To Today’s Strip

Well, I figured last week’s light-hearted, rather positive view wouldn’t last.  Still, it was fun while it lasted.  It may never happen again, but the fact that it did means that it might.

Today, the joke has been done before and better in this same strip.  I think it was done just a couple of months ago, though the “better” didn’t come into play then.

I’m not sure what else there is to say; the only personality these students have tends to be somewhat loathsome, so I can’t really sympathize with their plight.  If there’s anyone in whose corner I find myself, it’s the lunch-lady, once again having to deal with these cement-heads.

I thought Glasses (I can’t remember who’s who) was supposed to be the smarter of the two, so I’m puzzled by his use of the word “landed.”  Is there a food fight going on, with various flying objects zizzing around?  Does he think erasers are self-propelled, or that they’re manned by a tiny crew of aliens?  What the heck is a “cheese square” anyway–does the cafeteria just drop a brick of cheese onto a plate and say “There you go”?  Actually, I imagine that’s exactly what they do in the cafeteria since they hate these kids.  Everyone hates these kids.

Well, my time in the torture chamber is over and done, so please welcome David O as your new dungeon master, starting tomorrow!

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Secret Origins of Super Villains

Link to today’s strip.

I’m going to skip the dialogue in today’s episode, mostly because it’s just too stupid to acknowledge.  What interests me most is the lunch lady’s face in panel three.  That face simply screams That’s it.  I quit.  I refuse to listen to this kind of crap, from these sub-morons.  I’m going back to being a greeter at Sprawl-Mart.

That, my friends, is the face of someone who has just been defeated by the Super-Friends for the second time…meaning that they have now chosen evil as a career.  The Super-Friends thwart you the first time, well, you probably just had a bad break in your life and took to crime to feed the family.  The second time around, though, means you’ve picked evil because you like evil.  And you’re already preparing your third crime…revenge, against those Super-Fools!

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