Tag Archives: non-pizza foodstuffs

If only there WAS a substitute for experience…

You are looking liiiiive at St. Spires Church and its odd, grass-covered exterior wall in today’s strip

At least the choir ladies are asking follow up questions now. The last two times Dinkle pulled his “a little” shtick no one pressed him for specifics. I’m half-surprised Dinkle doesn’t carry around a printed resume to hand out to the mere mortals who aren’t familiar with his life story, that really seems like something he would do.

At least we get that brilliant salmonella pun again4 and a half months was just too long without it. It’s a true TB original too, you won’t find it anywhere else.

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Cripes, What a Black Hole!

How bad was the past week of Les strips? Bad enough to make today’s appearance by Mister Kablichnick feel like a refresing palate cleanser. I was ready to add “doughnut of doom” to the Batiuktionary, figuring that the term was coined by TB to set up the “punchline.” But Grandpa Google turned up this April 2019 New York Times article that uses the phrase, as well as the image Jim that is showing the students.

It’s been a pleasure sharing the pain with you lo these last two weeks. Beckoning Chasm steps into the wheelhouse starting Monday!

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We All Scream

J.J. O’Malley
February 26, 2021 at 11:43 pm
I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I almost want there to be a complete tour of the new and “improved” Chateau Winkerbean tomorrow, just so our six days of sloughing through (apparently) one very repetitive day-long conversation won’t have totally been in vain.

Hate to spoil it for ya, J.J., but I have a feeling that today’s strip is about as close as we’re gonna get to seeing the actual reno in progress. Throwaway panel 1 is a lovingly detailed rendering of a gutted kitchen, chock full of the kind of details–the orange extension cord, discarded sheetrock and wood, exposed studs and electrical–that have me thinking Batty snapped some reference pix during the real-life reno of his own kitchen that inspired this arc.

Also in panel 1, to the left of the FW text, we see Holly’s profile, which tells us that they’re sitting in a room that’s just off the kitchen. Which makes me wonder how she could forget that the ice cream and everything else has been moved to another location.

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Neither can we, Marian… uh, I mean, Lisa

And we’re back to Les’s cameo in today’s strip. I dunno what that golf thing yesterday was about, but it will probably be awful and unsatisfying if it is ever revealed at all.

Having seen more of this scene, I really hope Les’ fear that his cameo will elicit knee-buckling laughter from his friends, family, and assorted other acquaintances comes true. What better time in Lisa’s Story to bust a gut than this maudlin bit where Les recaps a phone conversation Lisa had with her insensitive doctor? That’s the first and only thing about this Lisa’s Story flick that makes me want to watch it.

This strip is a nice reminder that Lisa’s second battle with cancer was full of bumbling and insensitive doctors: always mixing up important cancer charts and exhibiting awful bedside manner. What timing TB has… I cannot think of a time in my life when fewer Americans would be interested in fictional depictions of incompetent and unpleasant doctors.

And that’s it for me. I cannot say I envy spacemanspiff85, who takes over tomorrow. Good luck to you. You won’t have it, but it seems the right sentiment to express.

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Cut It On The Bias

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! After a week of setup for this cameo and its single, six word line, Les flubs it in today’s strip? Who could have possibly seen this coming?

At least the narrative has inched along despite wasting 14 panels on reusing the most cliche gag about acting in history. Mr. Director himself, Martin Johns, confirms what we all suspected since we first saw that laughable park bench set being put together… this film has next to no budget. Unless he’s just being dramatic about the tire fire that Les has turned this scene into, in which case we’ve gone no where on this story arc in a week and a half.

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Order Up-chuck

Today’s strip was done better some 36-and-a-half years ago by one Charles M. Schulz. Les is echoing the more-likable Sally Brown’s Hark! Hark! Hark! Hark! from Christmastime 1983…

Unlike Lisa’s Story, those strips were worked into an actual film, It’s Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown, which I got on videocassette for the price of a tank of gas in my parents’ Mazda at a Shell filling station back in 1993.

And frankly, “Les says things and bothers innocent bystander(s)” is not new ground even within the history of this strip either. Let’s move on.

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The Meekness Monster

Women sure love shopping and nagging their husbands, amirite?
Eh?
Heh?
Today’s strip knows what I’m talkin’ about!
So, what’s the deal with airline food?

This is how we close six loooooooooooong days of debate about whether or not to take a free trip offer from a movie star… with gags that were pre-historic even when trilobites ruled the Earth. TB could at least give a tip of the Hatlo Hat Funky Felt-Tip to the tens of thousands of comic artists who have used this material before and much much better than he has here.

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More Les? Probably. *sigh*-day, January 10

Today’s strip was not available for preview, but it is making me bored nevertheless.

Typically, I dive into the archives when a strip is not available for preview but I’m so bored by this story arc that… Yeah, OK, I’ll still do it. Someone has to make an effort when it comes to this strip.

Let’s see what strip celebrates it’s sweet 16 today. Here’s Funky Winkerbean from January 10, 2004:
FW1-10-04

Facing declining revenues, DSH glumly threatens to close Komix Korner (then located across the street from Montoni’s above the Jade Dragon Chinese restaurant). Mopey Pete, who worked in the store at the time, is excited about clocking out early (he was shirking even back then). Crazy get’s really sad. Les shows up for the above ONE strip and takes everything from maudlin to insufferable. This may be the most insufferable a comic book-focused FW strip has ever been… and that is saying something!

Of course, we know that Komix Korner survives. In fact, the very next week Tony agrees to rent the then-unused Montoni’s basement to DSH for the amazing price of “whenever you can pay me”. Hilariously, he only does this after Pete applies to work at Montoni’s, apparently figuring that giving Komix Korner the Montoni’s basement for FREE handily beats the prospect of hiring PETE (and he’s a guy who hired Durwood on two separate occasions).

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Possibly nothing… interesting at all is going on here

Since we went over how what Cayla claims in today’s strip is in no way true back in Tuesday’s post, I have little left to say. This strip is almost spectacular in how utterly boring it is.

I don’t think anyone would cry if Les retired two years early. Same goes for a certain cartoonist who is now, in fact, about two years away from a milestone anniversary that some experts speculate may also mark his retirement.

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Re-Moore-seful

The thrilling marital back-and-forth between Les and Cayla continues in today’s strip. I don’t know about you, but I can totally relate to this. In fact, I’ve debated whether or not to take a free vacation offer from a movie star with my wife at least 4 times and I haven’t even been married a year yet!

Interestingly, Cayla tries a play out of her one-time romantic rival Susan Smith’s playbook: Threatening death if Les doesn’t do what she wants. Nice try, Cayla, but Les is an unfeeling inhuman monster. If you die, you die. He cares not, he worries only that he will miss the opportunity to condescend to teenagers.

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