Tag Archives: things that were real timely a year ago

Your Mask Too Small To Band Box With God

Link To The Big Sunday Strip

See, he just explained how Funky got his special pizza-themed masks, but nothing can explain how, on the spur of the moment, he suddenly found or made a bunch of tiny masks for the stupid band box. I’m never discussing this arc again so, for the last-ever time, it’s just remarkable how much affection Funky has for his old nostalgia-steeped junk, like his stools, jukebox and (of course) that f*cking band box. The whereabouts of his old revolving beer sign are still unknown, as that plot thread has been dangling for like eight years now.

Coming next week: after briefly acknowledging Morton, Holly, Wally, Rachel, Adeela, Cory and Rocky’s untimely COVID-related deaths in passing, Funky seriously contemplates drinking himself to death after the green pitcher comes out of the dishwasher all faded and teal. His fellow AA members agree that it’s probably the best course of action given the gravity of the situation.

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Sanitized For Your Objection

Link To Today’s Strip

“Reserved for a vaccine”??? Yes, I know what he meant, but LOL. He really should have maybe waited to see how things played out before he sent this batch of strips over to CK. But then again, it’s been a hundred years so why start now?

Correct me if I’m mis-remembering this but didn’t he just REMOVE THE F*CKING JUKEBOX THREE DAYS AGO? This isn’t just a typical lapse in continuity, it’s like a whole other universe where “continuity” isn’t even a word. And why is Adeela being forced to wipe down the virus-infested jukebox (minus gloves too by the way)? That’s no way to treat your pizzeria’s number one Muslim architect. Someone needs to hook that girl up with a LinkedIn or Indeed account, pronto. These FW characters just settle into these lackadaisical phases that drag on for YEARS at a time. She’s squandering her talents AND her youth on these pizza-shilling infidels, if she’s not careful she’ll become an overweight bulbous-nosed sad sack before she knows what hit her and…oh, right. Never mind.

And what’s that anon-o-dude grinning about? Getting to play one of Funky’s old Danny Kaye records? Or is he just excited about the jukebox being sanitized? “Oh man, she’s sanitizing that jukebox just for ME! There’s NO CHANCE I’ll contract COVID from this now!”. Sigh.

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Heart Of Plexiglass

Link To Another One

So the “soul” of Montoni’s is customers eavesdropping and breathing on one another from adjacent booths? Again, Funky’s main concern here isn’t with the PEOPLE affected by the pandemic, but for the actual building itself, which is really odd. It’s a pizzeria, thus its “soul” is those big ovens where the pizza is made, as without those he has nothing. Now that things here in the good ol’ USA are slowly returning to normal this one seems kind of dated already but hey, if Funky didn’t have anything to complain about he’d be filling those forty-two extra weeks with Les arcs or something, so there is that. Sometimes you just gotta find the upside, I suppose.

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