Tag Archives: pizza boxes

Issues Of Futures Passed

Link To Today’s Strip

Poor, poor Wally. At long last everything appears to finally be going his way. He’s about to graduate with a coveted six year degree in pizzeria management, he’s once again able to freely mingle and fraternize with co-eds and his uncle is about to bestow upon him the highest honor a Westviewian can achieve. So naturally the Great Pulitzer Nominee is setting him up for yet another brutal gut-punch, another cruel setback, another trigger that will send his PTSD into overdrive and destroy the happiness he’s painstakingly built for himself over the last several years.

Apparently “Adeela” is some sort of new character hailing from the war-ravaged Middle East, a character who just happens to be enrolling at Westview Community College just as Wally reaches the apex of his long and painful recovery. And if I know my FW, this Adeela will probably be a one-armed radioactive comic book fanatic who stepped on a “bouncing Betty” on the way to the chemo ward after gaining a lot of weight. Lord only knows where this might be going but if Wally’s involved it’s a safe bet that it’s nowhere good.

Advertisements

15 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Pizzacato

Link to today’s strip.

Dr. Harry L. Dinkle, professional dumbass.  Just yesterday in real-time, but just a few minutes ago in strip-time, he discussed pizza as a fundraising tool–especially how you can use someone else’s pizza to make them miserable.  And now he’s astonished to find pizza itself on the convention floor?  Well, apparently he can’t remember anything for more than a few seconds.   I guess that’s why he’s not following his own advice and churlishly reading the pamphlet.

One thing I am curious about–is this particular strip supposed to be funny?  Or poignant?  Or educational?  Does it serve any purpose whatsoever except as one more step on the way to the 50th?  Because I’ll be damned if I can find any content in this at all.

I don’t have any hatred for Tom Batiuk–in fact, I wish him all the luck in the world with his work.  I just wish he’d try every now and then.  But all the strips in recent months just seem to be one big nothing after another big nothing.  It’s difficult for me to even get angry at the strip–it’s just so boring, such a squandered opportunity.  He could tell interesting stories with this cast if he didn’t (apparently) believe that everything has to be miserable to be taken seriously.

What’s so great about being taken seriously?

Oh well.  How about another Crankshaft!  Funny how my phone hasn’t rung with an offer yet.

12 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Punchline Template 1A

The Further Adventures of Rachel and Funky Talking may be found here.

 

Hahaha, it’s funny because CrossFit and yoga are, like, totally different things! Can’t wait for tomorrow’s strip when maybe Tom will finish stretching this arc like a chunk of saltwater taffy and actually move the plot along.

BTW, go back through this arc and take a look at each day’s strip. Notice how Tom’s rendering of Rachel gets more fluid and less awkward as the week progresses? I find this interesting because it shows me that Tom lets himself get “out of practice” with his characters when they’ve been absent awhile and probably doesn’t take the time to do a little “freshening up” with the ol’ Funky Felt Tip before bringing them back.

20 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Headbangin’ For A Cure

Link to today’s strip.

Aaaaand once again, T-Bats pads out two panels worth of inaction to fill three days, finally getting around to telling us that Rachel and Wally are attending the concert to help him with his PTSD. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a storyteller with a worse sense of pacing.

While I’d say that I’m looking forward to seeing the concert (who would turn down a chance to see Mort ripping up Inna Godda Davida on the slidefart trombone?) there’s little chance of that. The intern who drew Mort’s dementia-induced Independence Day Sunday comic has weekdays off, and we all know how Tom hates drawing his characters doing anything but standing around talking.

23 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

School of Rock

Today’s Funky Winkerbean is an example of my least favorite  FW strip. I mean, I’m used to jokeless installments, or days at a time with no plot advancement, or bungled punchlines. But this crap just baffles me – I have no idea where T-Bats is going with this and by the time he meanders around to making a point I probably won’t even care.

So instead, I’m just going to wonder aloud why Tom can’t seem to draw his characters with any kind of consistency. Remember when Rachel was a ginger cutie? Well, I do, you philistines, and you can be reminded of it by looking at the center panel of this three-panel strip. For some reason, Rachel in panels one and three has sag lines around her eyes and an “I-forgot-to-put-my-teef-in-thiff-morning” mouth, but in panel two looks more or less like she used to a few years ago before Tom got sick of drawing her and shoved her to the back of the character rotation.

Funky’s got a new look today, too. Kind of reminds me of what it would look like if Silly Putty copulated with Mr. Potato Head and had the kid raised by Alfred Hitchcock.

19 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky