Author Archives: beckoningchasm

It Seems Some Comic Strips WERE Left Behind

So I find now, as some eight years ago I was doing things for the first time, I am doing them now for the final time.

Hi folks, it’s me again, BChasm here for a one more romp through the Funky Winkerbean swamp.

And I must say, as romps go, this has been one of the most enjoyable. The hosts, the guest hosts and the commentors have been absolutely wonderful companions on this forage through the train wreck, and as we’ve sifted through the wreckage we’ve found some wonderful artefacts and some poor-grade sewage. Such it is on a journey like this, and I could not have asked for better companions. I love you all.

I’m going to ignore the current nonsense in today’s strip and touch on one of the defining strips of Act III.

Last week as you’ll recall, Epicus mentioned the events of June, 2011.  Les inexplicably finds himself pursured by two women, and Crazy and Funky make some very mild comments regarding his romantic past.  

A normal person would respond in one of two ways:  1 “Heh, I guess it is kind of funny.” 2 “I really need some help with this, guys.”

Les uses neither, instead storming off in high dudgeon. 

Funky feels remorse over this, and we get the strip below.

Again, a normal reaction to Funky’s contrition would be something like “It’s okay, I was just upset” or “Hey, you’re my friend, don’t worry about it” or some such acknowledgement of the sentiment while diminishing the event.

Not Les.  Les’ response is that of a man whose ego dwarfs the sun itself.  If I were Funky, my reaction would be to mentally cross Les off my list of friends.  I would know, now, that if I ever needed sympathy from Les, all I would receive is a counter-complaint (“Well, sure, your house burned down, but I thought I’d lost a Lisa tape.  I was in a real panic, let me tell you–“).

The above strip was the biggest indication that Les Moore is a world-class prick.  Looking back, I cannot recall a single moment when Les was sincerely concered about another (living) person; everyone around him exists solely to validate him.  

And this, ladies and gentlemen, was our star character.  But allow me to fix this one strip, to put it a quarter-inch from reality.

Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for your indulgence.  I have read and enjoyed the posts and comments here and I am glad that I was, in some small way, a part of this mosaic.  For my final trick, let’s enjoy an old favorite!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

It’s All in the Brochure

Link to today’s strip.

So, Dinkle enjoys name-dropping, but mirabile visu, refrains from talking about his own OMEA triumphs. Somehow that panel must have been edited out by mistake. Or maybe Batiuk thought, “You know, I think I’ll give Becky a fourth line in this week-long story.” Wotta gentleman.

Of course, Dinkle loves to blow his own…horn, so I’m sure Becky has heard all of this multiple, multiple times. Funny how the actual band director rarely gets woven into these OMEA strips, except to purr how awesome Dinkle is. Ah, the woman’s lot in the Funkyverse: shoring up the menfolk.

Gad, a week of Les then a week of Dinkle. This has been quite a spell in the command chair. But at last we’re out, and Epicus Doomus takes over filling the bird feeder tomorrow. Imperious Rex!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Split the Dimwits

Link to today’s strip.

I really hate those smiles that split the characters’ faces. It’s supposed to imply that these people are just enjoying the heck out of Dinkle’s, uh, witticisms. But to me, it means these are people with severe brain damage. Even Larry Fine, there in the middle. They would smile this way no matter what they were looking at. But don’t worry, I’m sure their handler will be along presently to herd them back on to the correct bus. Huh, would that be “on to” or “onto”?

Their presence does have one advantage: it kept this episode from being a vertical sideways strip. The only thing that could make a Dinkle strip even more irritating.

And of course, with two days of him farting out only a word or two, the rising tide can no longer be contained, and we get an entire strip of logorrhea. Funny, I thought people excreted out the other end, but I guess Harry’s unique that way.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Candy and a Current Bun

Link to today’s strip.

More terribly-constructed writing. Let’s improve panel one.

I suppose Batiuk’s thought process was “Readers will want to know where the candy is. That’s vitally important for the strip to work.” Well, Tom, no it isn’t. People might wonder about the bowl of radioactive isotopes on the piano, but they’ll probably put it down to one of those things that Bizarro puts in his strip. (Looks like the isotopes have been hard at work, judging from the cactus-thing on the right.)

Also, does that mean that candy in other locations is fair game at any time? Although I bet they’re all those Circus Peanut things. Or mints that have been in a bowl so long they’ve become part of it.

I’m not sure how the system in panel two would work–the iPad doesn’t seem to be connected to the piano, and…ultimately, I don’t care. I bet Tom Batiuk doesn’t know how it works either. But we do get another sad Dinkle! Yeah!

And hey, someone remembered the photo corners this time.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Eats, Shoots, Leaves

Link to today’s strip.

Oh good grief, Batiuk, learn to write. That sentence in panel two is atrocious. Any teacher would mark that like crazy, with a note, “Don’t see me after class, you should just drop out of school.”

Let’s give it a second chance.

Far better than the original. (Can’t really do much about the berserk expression on the guy’s face, though.)

And don’t get me started on Dinkle’s dialogue. “Repeating the sign in front of me, with a question mark added? I really do think my readers are a highly polished set of dimbulbs, don’t I!”

There is one bright spot in today’s episode: Dinkle’s usual skull-grin is missing, replaced by a face full of melting sorrow. Then it gets ruined with what looks like his most smug expression ever in the last panel.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky