Author Archives: beckoningchasm

Sunday morning, and I’m falling

Link to today’s strip.

Sundays strip, as always, was not available for preview.   Will it have anything to do with the previous week?  The ratio this year seems to be about fifty-fifty, depending on how lame the previous week’s story has been.  Today, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Jessica and Dullard chortling over Skyler’s injuries, both extant and yet to come.

Of course, they had last Sunday’s strip, so we might get Les and Funky running, while Funky complains about oxygen.  Haven’t had one of those in a while.

Guaranteed to show up: smirks and weary resignation.

This past week really illustrated Dullard and Jessica’s relationship, in that they really don’t seem to have any other than a very perfunctory one.  They live hundreds of miles apart with no plans to get together, they only react with their child when it’s absolutely necessary, and they seem completely wrapped up in their respective careers with no time for each other.  The fact that they communicate over Skype is the very definition of “phoning it in,” something with which Tom Batiuk is very familiar.   Unless it’s comic books or odd forays into nostalgia, Batiuk just doesn’t seem to care to throw anything onto this framework.  Not a terribly good way to present a strip supposedly about contemporary problems of young people.

And that’s it from me for this go-round.  Well!  Those two weeks sure flew by like two years.  Please give a warm SoFW welcome to Fearless Leader himself, our very own TFHackett Epicus Doomus, who returns to the agony booth starting tomorrow!

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The Wearying

Link to today’s strip.

Wow, just look at that expression on Ann’s face in panel two.  That’s the face of someone who has had it up to here with her step-son, and is about to use her step-grandson as a bludgeon.

Wow, so your “wife” is going all California on you.  What a terrible dilemma for you.  Sure wish I had your problems, jack-off.  I’ve got to look after the obviously unwanted product of your sham marriage, as well as my disintegrating husband, so you can play with your Flash dollies. 

There’s a definitely an unseen third panel here, with Skyler cowering in a corner while Dullard lies on the floor, his neck bent at an unnatural angle, and Ann standing over him, fists clenched white with rage.

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Baby’s First ER Visit

A Children’s Book By Les Moore.

Link to today’s strip.

Don’t worry, Jessica, I’m sure you’ll be there to walk down the aisle to Skyler’s first chemotherapy session.    Unless Tom Batiuk has big plans for you in store, that is.

Kind of odd how we get this little interlude between the Butter Brinkel chapters (I assume that will start up again next week).  Even odder, how quickly we go from “Skyler’s in the hospital!!!” to “(shrug) It’s nothing.”

My guess is that this is, in fact, an interlude and nothing more.  Because I can’t imagine that Batiuk was going to do something dramatic with Skyler and just got cold feet; this is a guy who used a stroke (Fred) and traumatic brain injury (Bull) for weeks of bathos.

No, I suspect that if Skyler had cracked his skull and Jessica had video’d in to say, “Well, that’s sure sad, Dullard, but I can’t fly out to be with him–you should see the Butter Brinkel footage I’m compiling!” people might have thought the real drama was being shunted aside for some poorly thought-out nostalgia trip.  So instead, the poorly thought-out nostalgia trip takes a rest for a meaningless interlude.

And it really is meaningless.  All it demonstrates is that the Fairgoods are the worst parents ever.  They should be called the Fairpoors.

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Something With You

Link to today’s strip.

I can’t process Dullard’s sentence in panel two.   It’s really awkward, and sounds like “Is it…your shoes?  Is it a bug that landed on your…shoulder?  Is it a bum sitting next to you?  Is it your iPhone?  IS IT YOUR MINECRAFT ACCOUNT?!?”

I assume he means “Are you in the emergency room because you are experiencing an emergency?” or shorter,  “Is it you?”  But, “Is it you?” would leave an awful lot of white space for a word balloon drawn a year ago, and I have to guess that this would be one thing that Tom Batiuk would feel embarrassment over.

Honestly, though, he really should feel embarrassment over the last panel.   Dullard flies into a frenzy over learning that his child is in the emergency room– this is a natural reaction that any parent would have.

But any natural parent would have checked in on his offspring sometime in the last few months.  A good parent would do this daily, at the very, very least.  Instead of sweating over the cover art for the latest issue of The Inedible Pulp.

What I’m saying is that Dullard should slash his wrists and bleed to death…not so he can save his child, but so that the next Rip Tide – Scuba Cop can have realistic blood in the water.

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Long Distance Call

Link to today’s strip.

Wow, Dullard is sure blase about getting a call from Dead Lisa!  And when she asks to meet him in the emergency room, let’s hope it’s to help identify Les’ mangled body.

–what?  The call might not be from Lisa, but from Ann Fairgood?  How is that possible, he only calls Lisa “mom!”  We’ve seen this a number of times.

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Readers React

Link to today’s strip.

Okay, today’s thing is actually kind of funny, in a “Family Circus” kind of way…by which, it isn’t actually funny but you can at least see that a joke was intended.

And who among us here has not said the dialogue in panel one, after reading Funky Winkerbean or Crankshaft?

 

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Crimes of the Future

Link to today’s strip.

Commentator Gerard Plourde said yesterday–

Maybe we should be thankful that he hasn’t thought of massive “hilarious” arcs of Skyler turning Dennis The Menace and pulling Home Alone-type pranks on overworked Ann and enfeebled Fred Fairgood.

Well, Gerard, from your lips to Tom Batiuk’s ears!  Hows that for service?  Granted, it’s not much of a “prank” to exhaust your grandmother…hm.  On second thought, for Batiuk that probably is one of the major pranks you can pull!

Oh, and Gerard, next time you make a prediction, try to work “Les Moore savagely beaten” in there somewhere.

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