Tag Archives: badly taped signs

Let’s Go to the Tape

Link to today’s strip.

How many years has Les been teaching at Westview High?  And yet, according to panel two, he still has to tape a paper sign to his window.  You’d think the teachers would have little engraved signs on the doors or windows, but no, No One Will Escape…The Entapening.  (This film has not yet been rated.)

Is Tom Batiuk on the payroll of the 3M company?    That…actually, that wouldn’t surprise me.

As far as the actual content of the strip is concerned, I can’t make any sense out of it.  He wants them to be prepared for the test, and that’s fine, but then he goes on into nonsense land.

Just as an experiment, I went back though this years strips and replaced his last panel dialogue with something else.  With one exception, these are unaltered.  The slightly altered one is first.  I think they make just as little sense as the original, but are improvements nonetheless.

 

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Anus Major

“In a spirit of generosity”, Tom Batiuk really should put down his Funky felt tip, retire “Funky” and “Crankshaft”, and free up some real estate for some new talent in the fading genre of daily newspaper comics. TB waited almost a month to squander another Sunday’s worth of ink, newsprint, and Photoshop effects on a followup to Kablichnick’s Ursa  Major “joke”. In today’s retelling, however, “Jim Twain” goes with our bobanero’s (funnier) punchline. Not so fast, teacher! Even dim Owen realizes we’ve heard this one. And it sucked. “But no, my friends,” teases Jim, in French to be extra condescending; he then recites the joke and delivers the punchline like a steaming turd before smirking blissfully and hitching his suspenders (the science teacher’s “mic drop”). Cody is appalled by this microaggression; deadpan Alex declares Jim to “comedically on fire” while visualizing him to be literally so.

Your genial host is “comedically extinguished” after serving as your host these last two festive weeks. Thank you, readers and contributors, for visiting and supporting the web’s premiere source for Funky Winkerbean snark, Son of Stuck Funky. I’m pleased and proud to preside over one of the smartest and funniest online communities I’ve even partaken in. The comedically sur le feu Beckoning Chasm takes over Monday. Happy 2016! —Votre ancien assiette en porcelaine, TFH

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Pa-Loop-aville

Today’s strip brings up many Funkyverse Altering Questions (FAQ), which I will attempt to answer below.

So Young Crazy apparently lost/water-damaged the smartphone, is this TB’s cheap way of maintaining Act III’s status quo?
Yes. More convenient than a Neal Rubin Gil Thorp plot conclusion, isn’t it?

Shouldn’t I be asking the questions, not you?
Uh…

Does that badly taped sign in panel 1 say “Smew Reunion”?
Probably.

Is Les doing his trademark waddling off underneath the Smew Reunion sign?
Definitely.

Is that Donna, Holly, or Mary Sue looking over Crazy’s shoulder?
Good question.

Which words coming through the time phone in panel 2 are onomatopoeias and which are things Young Crazy is actually saying?
Judging by the lettering, “splash” is an onomatopoeia while Young Crazy is speaking “ooops” and “pa-loop”, both popular vernacular in 1978.

What hath Jobs (and Woz) wrought?
An immeasurable number of fictional computers made by parody companies named after produce (and at least one real-life example). “Pineapple” falls somewhere between Kumquat and Banana on the scale of bad to thoroughly terrible Apple parodies.

Shouldn’t Crazy have specifically told his younger self to buy Pineapple stock in 1996 or 1997?
Yes he should have, but because of his lack of specificity we were spared references to McHale Swindler and Bil Spamelio, which is a plus.

Into what liquid did Young Crazy accidentally drop the smartphone?
Search me… Maybe the Time Pool, though none of the gang looked wet after passing through it.

What did Crazy tell his younger self to do with the smartphone before buying Pineapple stock?
He, uh… Oh.
No.
Nononononono.
Sorry, FAQ over. I need to take a shower, followed by another shower.

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Nick of Time

SoSfDavidO Here, and don’t even try and figure out today’s title, as it’s not punny at all, unlike In today’s strip. It’s the title to a Twilight Zone episode that freaked me out as a kid and I think is fairly appropriate of a comparison to Montoni’s. In it, a young William Shatner is held hostage by the idea he can never leave a little diner because of a tiny mechanical fortune teller that seems to have hold over him.

And here is Darin, almost seemingly stuck in a small diner he can’t escape from either! The mechanical band just seals the deal as far as reminding me of the Twilight Zone episode.

Can anyone ever truly leave Westview?

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