Tag Archives: Cassidy

Inside The Assholes Studio

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Yeah yeah yeah. Even the nicest Hollywood movie stars are vapid phonies who exchange air kisses and “do lunch”. Point made…and made…and made…and made…and made yet again. At least Dick Facey finally approves of something, albeit in that annoying non-committal way of his. My God do I need a Les break, the guy just wears on you like a rock in your shoe. A smug bearded rock. There were five named characters in this arc and not one of them is even remotely likeable in any way whatsoever. Even Cassidy is getting on my nerves right now.

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A Million Little Lisas

Link To Today’s Atrocity

“Lisa’s Story” is just like the video cartridge in “Infinite Jest”, once you start reading it you’re unable to do anything else but think about Lisa until you wither and die. Naturally with Les being Les and all, he can’t even accept Marianne’s sincere compliment without taking a dig at Cindy, because she was the popular girl in high school who looked down her nose at him and etc. And it’s funny because never letting go of old high school grudges is hilarious, I guess. Look at that snide look on his smug bearded face in panel two, he’s genuinely enjoying watching Cindy squirm. What a dick.

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99 Luft Word Balloons

Link To Today’s Strip

FIVE characters and an astounding EIGHT word balloons in a two-paneler…just imagine if he’d have filled those word balloons with some actual content. This story might have been going places! Unfortunately though, this is FW and things just don’t work like that around here. More words = even less action in the Funkyverse.

Cindy’s descent into one-note trope hell is complete, as she’s ALREADY sexually threatened and seething with white-hot jealousy over seeing her husband interacting with a co-worker he’s known for years. That was fast. A little subtlety might have been applicable here, you know, like an eyeroll or something. But again, things don’t work like that around here. Funky is the fat one, Wally is the jittery one, Lisa is the dead one, Bull is the dead one and Cindy is the implacably jealous and insecure one and that’s just they way it is.

It’s really stupid, though and more than slightly, uh, reductive, I guess. Mason sees Cindy cozying up to Les and doesn’t give a damn, Cindy sees Mason chatting with a co-star and she’s boiling with hateful fury within seconds. Sure, I admit it, I notice when there’s cleavage in the strip but next to the guy who writes this thing I’m like freaking Gloria Allred. He took the most traditionally “successful” character (male or female) in the strip and turned her into an insecure teenager, strictly for laughs. Attempted laughs, that is.

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Bravo, Mason, Bravo

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Yes, Les, please don’t talk. You know what would be useful before you spend half the day meeting with Hollywood executives? If you discussed your plan with your partner beforehand, so they’re not openly angry and baffled constantly, and you don’t look like squabbling children in front of the people you’re trying to impress.

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