Link to today’s strip.
First off, those are the blackest “Santa hats” I’ve ever seen. I guess the band is going to play at Santa’s wake.
But really, in what way is this a “long story”? Funky appears to be able to tell the entire thing in a single sentence. But they had to make coffee and settle in a booth so he could do this?
This makes me think Funky’s “That’s a long story” is his way of saying “Stop bothering me.” So Adeela went off and made coffee and came back and said “I made coffee” and Funky responded “Oh okay.”
And then he got bored and told the story in the dullest way possible, rather than trying to make it interesting. Hey, if his creator can’t do it, what chance does Funky have?
I know what you’re thinking, “How can today’s strip be any worse than this past week?”
Les. The most dreaded name in the newspaper. The name that even alone evokes the most dire of thoughts. “Les” is the sound that a rattlesnake makes before it dies in a brush fire. It’s the Florida State Police code word for a sinkhole. It was the name of Francisco Franco’s pet canary. It is far and away the worst part of the title of Les Miserables.
I don’t know what possessed this poor poor child to wander near Les’ table, but I do know that if he winds up reading Lisa’s Story he is not going put it down disappointed that only one person dies. No, he’s just going to think that the wrong person dies. And he would, of course, be right.
I am only going to focus on the positives in today’s strip.
Yessiree, just the positives today. Things like… uh… hmmm… well… Darin using “mom” to refer to the woman that raised him instead of Lisa. Yeah, that’s one! There is also… ummm… these two shmucks getting themselves soaked to the bone walking back to the Eaton Building because they naturally forgot to bring their umbrellas in perpetually sunny Cleveland. I can dig that.
So yeah, I’m only talking about the positive things today. You won’t see me mention any negative aspects. Nope, not a single one. I won’t mention at all how Durwood appears to have brought “Sky” back with him to Ohio solely so he could take advantage of his aging mother for free child care. I also won’t mention how he has put both his young son and disabled father in danger by working the only caregiver in their house to exhaustion. Nor will I mention how disingenuous it is for Durwood to talk about how important it is for “Sky” to be cared for while he is working after he just shot the breeze with Pete for who knows how long at an offsite coffeeshop on company time. No, I will not mention any of those things, only the positive stuff… the sunshine, lollipops, rainbows, safety, laughter, and skip to-and-fro.
Funny, I thought focusing on the positives would improve this strip. But alas, no such luck…
Please gaze longingly out the window embracing the ghost of a loved one while waiting for the first strip of the New Year to drop. Happy, happy, snarkers.
SoSfDavidO here! And here’s an early link to today’s strip, as I’m heading out to a re-enactment of William Henry Harrison’s inauguration speech this weekend and won’t be back until Monday morning.
It is very true! From akronlife.com:
[Luigi’s Restaurant owner Tony Ciriello] was just a kid in the ‘70s when his uncle Mickey Ciriello rescued the broken-down band from storage…The restaurant’s electrician, Butch Pastik, did the rewiring and a repairman at an old jukebox warehouse in Cleveland got the mechanical parts working again. Then Mickey and some friends began looking for characters to replace the old foam band members – brittle and crumbling from dry rot.
After discovering that Ken dolls and GI Joes didn’t work in the bandbox, Mickey settled on some 8-inch action figure Superman dolls. They were just the right size, and their arms were flexible enough to be posed with the musical instruments. Then he decided to swap out the male lead singer for a more glamorous blond Barbie…Mickey hired a local seamstress to create tuxedos for the band and created mop-top wigs for their heads…
For now, a new Barbie doll has replaced the ‘70s lead singer, but the male band members from the first restoration live on. One has been wearing a Superman suit under his tuxedo for all these years. In the tradition of protecting Clark Kent’s real identity, Tony won’t say which one is the true Man of Steel.
Wishing everyone a peaceful and blessed Easter! TFH
Link To Today’s Strip
Wow, it’s one of the rarest FW daily strips of them all, a sideways vertical memory within a fantasy within a fantasy! You don’t see these very often. After reading about the Superman trademark saga, I wouldn’t say that “tragic” is the first word that springs to mind. But then again, my entire being doesn’t revolve exclusively around nostalgic comic book memories, so what the hell do I know? I bet you that whenever he starts with this story while he’s hanging out at that pizza place, everyone politely excuses themselves to hit the bathroom.
Again, one has to wonder why despite being armed with this information, retro Pete opted to sign over the SJ title anyway, but thinking about it ruins the premise, which is apparently that the Superman creators got hosed. What that has to do with FW, Starbuck Jones or anything else is a mystery to me, but apparently it still has Batiuk all worked up, so here we are. It goes to figure that he keeps coming back to that story, as we all know that “writing” for a living is a horrible thankless task that never pays off no matter how great you are at it.
It might have made a little more sense if he held off on this (chortle) idea until they finished the movie, then had them lamenting the money the producers were making off their work. I said “might”. But BanTom simply doesn’t do things that way, or in any kind of a coherent way, really. He just does them, that’s all. Like with all of his cockamamie little stories, not one single aspect of this arc made any sense at all, on any level. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he wrote this one in his sleep, jotting down various fevered comic book dreams on a little notepad next to the bed then waking up and immediately committing them to paper as is.
Link To Today’s Strip
These comic book fantasies of his are getting weirder all the time. Didn’t think that was possible. Today we learn that retro Pete once visited the Superman creator’s (sigh) cousin’s house where he was shown an old piece of paper with incredibly vast historical significance, if you’re totally obsessed with comic books, that is. I guess those bubble corners in panel three signify that this is an old memory within a purely speculative faux-reminiscence-flashback, which tells you how convoluted and nonsensical this mess has become. Does BanTom seriously believe anyone anywhere is interested in this? And if so, why?
It’s just all over the place too. He has to once again mention Superman’s ties to Cleveland, another one of those mundane things that he finds fascinating for some reason. Then he segues into the Superman doodle via the dumbest segue of the week, some bullshit story about retro Pete knowing some guy’s cousin. Uh yeah, retro Pete, sure ya did. At look at that retro Pete smile, he looks like he’s struggling to remember exactly how to do it. Brutal.
Link To Today’s Strip
Incredible. Somehow, just out of nowhere, this nonsensical arc has become a comic book history lesson. Never saw it coming.
So, was Starbuck Jones an obscure cult classic or was it a huge sensation? Don’t ask Batom, despite it being his own personal fantasy he has absolutely no idea anymore. Maybe he should have created his little SJ universe BEFORE he started doing FW arcs about it, but the cat got out of that bag a long time ago. And now it’s all a big ugly mish-mosh.
And how does any of this relate to modern-day Pete and Darin’s situation? They didn’t create SJ, they were merely hired to work on an already-developed project. If Pete wanted a situation where he was in full control of his own creation, why did he leave his Mister Sponge gig in the first place? And as far as Boy Lisa is concerned, he’s fortunate to be involved with this idiotic movie at all. I’m not sure what the point here is supposed to be or even if there is one anymore.