Tag Archives: Kevin

by | December 14, 2012 · 8:00 pm

Kevin, Wee Hardly Knew Ye

Nobody has the words to make sense of what happened in Connecticut Friday, except to say God bless those left behind, and open up Your arms to receive those innocents. Hug your kids, your parents, or anyone who needs it. Spare a thought for those whose lives are never going to be the same. Here’s my stupid fucking little blog post.

“Since Kevin left“? Batiuk has done it again: the least interesting characters get weeks-long story arcs about nothing, while the more intriguing, lesser-explored characters are either written out or inexplicably vanish. Anyway, John, even when Kevin was working there, you were “short handed”! (Oops, better refrain from midget little people jokes, lest I be summoned to issue a lengthy, rambling apology on the House floor!)

Helskor
December 14, 2012 at 8:45 am
Harry’s grateful puppydog reaction to being offered a job fit only for a not-too-bright high school kid would be the unintentionally funniest thing Batiuk’s written in years if it wasn’t so pathetic and scary.

Batiuk has spent the last three weeks trying to make us feel sorry for Crazy Harry…I must say, today he finally accomplishes that, by depicting not just Harry’s eagerness to accept John’s “job” offer, but his willingness to “work” for free.

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by | March 31, 2012 · 10:00 pm

Quarant'anni di Montoni's

Finally, a special occasion that actually deserves to be celebrated at Montoni’s. The joint hasn’t been this packed since Darin discovered breakfast pizza. Everybody’s here…of course, Becky and Wally have to slave away back in the kitchen, and Khan’s been a persona non grata since opening up his own eatery nearly a year ago. Holly and Donna are in the same shot, proving they are not the same person; ditto Summer and Pete (wasn’t he leaving town?). Dead Skunk Head John and Bull are either gazing lovingly at one another or have just finished sharing a joint.

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by | October 30, 2011 · 12:00 am

Going Dutch

Jimmy
October 27, 2011 at 1:07 pm
I’m beginning to think this strip is BNFN (By Nerds For Nerds).

Hoo boy. Today Batty tips his artiste’s beret to Rembrandt. Two generations of The Nerds of Westview gather for the serious task of judging the quality, not of bales of fine linen, but of that precious commodity, comic books.

I’m not going to get all over TB for cribbing the Dutch Master; he knows he’s no Rembrandt. And at least today he’s ripping off working from a source that most of us are familiar with. But the looks on those faces…in Rembrandt’s masterpiece, his “sampling officials” look up from their work to acknowledge our presence; a couple of them  even seem to smile slightly . No doubt that in the next moment they will be back to their work. Contrast that with the slit-eyed scowls on the faces of every one of the “Comic Book Graders”. How dare we violate the sanctum of the Komix Korner? Today’s comic creeps me out a little.

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by | August 27, 2011 · 12:00 am

The Breakfast Club

Holy pepperoni, Funkman, I’ll say it’s a roaring success: practically all of Westview (except, sadly, for Cory) has turned out to sample Montoni’s New Breakfast Pizza. Did Cody and Owen grow a couple feet taller over the summer, or do they just seem tall standing behind tiny Kevin? Even some celebrities have turned out, including Dr. Bunsen Honeydew (behind Funky and Darin) and former child star Mason Reese (behind Maddie).

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