Special Enragement

In today’s strip, Marianne is coming off as not simply composed but rehearsed, belying the nerves and words she had just a few days ago. Or maybe Marianne is just that good of an actress and really is worthy of that Oscar… I have to admit, only a great actress could say that Mason and Lisa’s Story deserve Academy Award nominations without breaking out in riotous laughter.

Let’s look at some odds on who this Oscar-worthy “very special person” is:

46 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

46 responses to “Special Enragement

  1. Epicus Doomus

    “And I’d like to thank…Frankie, who ran the Film Food truck at our studio. His enchiladas kept me alive during filming, and the weed he sold me was a godsend during chemo. Thanks, Frankie, without you, Les and Lisa would have never bonded!”

    So really this is all just a really feeble wish-fulfillment/revenge fantasy kind of thing, where “Lisa’s Story” finally gets the recognition those shallow Hollywood scumbags refuse to give it. Publishers, publicists, producers…no one regarded The Little Story That Could as being “commercially viable”, but Les (with an assist from his pals Marianne and Mason) showed those Hollywood scumbags a thing or two. In your face, Hollywood! Gee, I wonder where the idea for this story came from? His “Lisa’s Story” persecution complex lives on, he’s obviously never letting that grudge go.

  2. RudimentaryLathe?

    Aaannnnndd, here comes the Les simp-fest. We all knew it was coming.

    I haven’t watched an Oscar broadcast since Paul Dano was snubbed for “Love & Mercy” but I’m pretty sure negging on the Academy for not nominating your pals is frowned on.

  3. William Thompson

    “That very special person, Les Moore! I once saw him act like a human being, and it was the most convincing act I ever saw! Of course it was an act of pomposity to rival Benito Mussolini, but fascist dictators are human too!”

  4. Y. Knott

    I’d be tempted at taking a flutter on that 10-1 payoff on Lisa … if the odds weren’t being given by someone who has already seen tomorrow’s comic.

    • billytheskink

      I was going to say that Lisa would have had a better chance had any of the many many Oscar winners who played dead real people ever insisted on giving an award to the dead real person they portrayed… but then I realized I was trying to apply some sort of real world logic and research to a comic strip that claims realism while never bothering with either.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      I said earlier I’d take 12-1 on Lisa coming back from the dead this arc, so 10-1’s a little thin. But I might be talked into it, if the story was setting up better for it.

  5. Sourbelly

    Tomorrow: Smash cut to Voldemoore playing clarinet at Michael’s Pub in Manhattan. He’s far too evolved to bother his penis-like head with such superficial frivolities. He’s an artist, a true pioneer.

    • erdmann

      “He’s an artist, a pioneer
      We’ve got to have some cancer porn on the new frontier.”

      I’m already making plans to drive out to the middle of nowhere so I can scream until my throat is raw after reading tomorrow night’s Les Lovefest.

  6. be ware of eve hill

    CUT THE MIKE! CUT THE MIKE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CUT THE MIKE!

    • be ware of eve hill

      SNIPERS, WHERE ARE YOU?! YOU HAVE A GREEN LIGHT! TAKE HER OUT!

      • be ware of eve hill

        Ummm… You folks knew that I thought Marianne was going to talk about Les? Right?

        I didn’t want there to be any confusion.

        Have a nice day. 😁

        • William Thompson

          Of course she’s going to talk about Les. He would have wanted it that way.

          (Don’t tell me he isn’t dead. Keep that reality at least a quarter-inch away from me!)

          • be ware of eve hill

            I was making a joke about my overreaction. 99.999999% chance it’s Les.

            I suppose we should all feel slightly blessed that we will be witnessing Marianne gushing about Les rather than actually witnessing the vile creature speak to the crowd himself. The horror of Les has been postponed… for now. *shudder*

            Okay. Les is dead. Wow, it was actually nice to type that.

          • Charles

            I suppose we should all feel slightly blessed that we will be witnessing Marianne gushing about Les rather than actually witnessing the vile creature speak to the crowd himself.

            Honestly, I think Batiuk may have realized he wasn’t up to the task. And I don’t think it’s because Batiuk realized it would be tone deaf. I think he realized it didn’t have the emotional resonance he wanted.

            So he’s just going to have the best actress in Hollywood credit her greatest achievement to him instead.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      This should be the most incredulous Oscar crowd since The Naked Gun 33 1/3.

      • be ware of eve hill

        Not to mention the plummeting television ratings.

        A facepalm? I do that almost every day after reading Funky Winkerbean. Some days I rest my forehead on the table in disgust.

  7. J.J. O'Malley

    I know this reference will mark me as an old fogey, but it’s not the first time:

    ***WHERE IS ROBERT OPEL WHEN YOU NEED HIM?***

    Speaking of old fogeys, Marianne seems to have picked up a bad case of Crankshaft nasal blackheads in her brief trip up to the stage. Either that, or someone went nuts using up the week’s Zip-a-Tone budget.

  8. The Dreamer

    Its got to be Cliff Anger Becausr Cliff and Vera have absolutely nothing to do with the Lisa’s Story movie and yet they’ve been invited to the Oscar ceremony ‘stand up Cliff, this is for you because you should have won one for the original Starbuck Jones movie! ‘

  9. ComicBookHarriet

    I’m going to take those Rex Morgan odds, BTS. If only because they’re the best laugh I’ve gotten all day!

  10. Banana Jr. 6000

    To paraphrase Ian Holm in Alien, “I admire its purity.” This story was only ever going one place, and it just grinds on with the ruthless inevitability of Tom Brady in the fourth quarter. It can’t be stopped by anything, even its own contradictions and unnecessary tangents. It’s like watching a house cat go through its incomprehensible ritual as it terrorizes its wounded prey before devouring it.

    • Miskatonic Sophomore

      “What was your special order?”
      “You read it. I thought it was clear.”
      “What was it?”
      “Glorify Les Moore. Priority one. All other priorities rescinded.”

    • Gerard Plourde

      “it just grinds on with the ruthless inevitability of Tom Brady in the fourth quarter“

      Sadly, without Nick Foles, Doug Peterson and the “Philly Special” to intervene.

  11. Lord Flatulence

    Ayers suddenly remembered that he knows how to draw.

  12. Banana Jr. 6000

    And the 5 new blog posts from yesterday are all gone again. Probably because they pushed the ad for the Crankshaft book off the top spot.

    • J.J. O'Malley

      Just looked at the back cover for the C-Shaft book. What ever happened to Ed’s cat, Pickles, other than its name was used to title a much funnier strip about senior citizens?

      • be ware of eve hill

        I seem to remember Batty wrote a contemptible story arc about Pickles. Batty leads us to believe Pickles was hit by a car and killed.

        One day Crankshaft couldn’t find Pickles and went looking for him. Ed eventually found a dead cat resembling Pickles by the side of the road. For a whole week, a morose Crankshaft is shown grieving and burying Pickles. As if by a miracle, Pickles suddenly appears out of nowhere, totally alive and well. The dead cat was not Pickles. Much like the Wally Winkerbean landmine death, it was another despicable Batiuk fake-out. Quite a few readers were upset about it.

        Pickles inexplicably disappeared from the strip shortly after that. It’s strange that a web search pulls up next to nothing about Pickles.
        Pickles is Ed’s cat. Gee, thanks.

        —————————–
        The Crankshaft book was compiled by Andrews/McMeel? Andrews/McMeel is the company that runs GoComics, a vastly better comic website than the Comics Kingdom. Crankshaft used to be with the competition?

        ———————
        Pickles is a much funnier comic strip about senior citizens.

    • Y. Knott

      It was up to 11 blog posts for the day at one point, including one that wished us a Happy Hallowe’en.

      Which was, come to think of it, about as on-point as any of his other blog posts.

  13. Maxine of Arc

    Play her off! Play her off!

    • Don

      Unfortunately, they never “play off” the Lead Actor and Lead Actress winners. I think ABC thinks those speeches are the only reason anybody watches – one of the reasons they moved Actor to the end last year.

  14. Professor Fate

    To quote Tom Servo “kill me now, please”

  15. Don

    How about…the scriptwriter, for turning that mess of a source material into something that might, on a good day, be remotely viewable?

    My guess: Lisa (with special guest cameo head appearance, although he’s probably saving that for Sunday). Leaving out Les’s name is probably going to be a plot point of some sort…right before the reprint of the book, with “Now an Academy-Award Winning Movie!” on its cover.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Yeah really. The relevant Oscar is for Best Adapted Screenplay, not Best Source Material. The author of the source material isn’t even acknowledged, unless they’re also the screenwriter.

      This whole thing is a toxic stew of Tom Batiuk’s worst traits. His pathological need for awards; giving Mary Sue characters rewards they’ve done nothing to earn; getting basic facts wrong due to lack of research; characterizations changing from one minute to the next; story points being raised and then ignored; looking down his nose at “phonyness” when his own “good” characters are the worst practitioners of it; commandeering real-world symbols that aren’t his to use; droning on for weeks without advancing the plot; and the whole goddam thing being a thinly veiled commercial for his stupid Lisa books. The only thing missing is the comic book shit, but that was before this arc and it’s probably after it too.

  16. Neil Anderson

    at least we can be confident that Batiuk’s not shameless enough to have Cayla die of cancer, and then have Marianne marry Les. no way he’d ever do that.

  17. Smirks 'R Us

    Serenity now. Serenity now.

    Insanity later.

    Screw you BatHack.

  18. Suicide Squirrel

    Come on, Marianne, do you really believe that ol’ macho man Mason would appreciate being nominated for ‘Best Actress’?

    Seriously, If Mason didn’t come off as a complete asshole while playing Les, he deserves an Oscar too.

    • Gerard Plourde

      “If Mason didn’t come off as a complete asshole while playing Les, he deserves an Oscar too.”

      Utterly transforming the character in the process.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      If Mason didn’t come off as a complete asshole while playing Les, then he didn’t tell Lisa’s story correctly.

      • Suicide Squirrel

        That’s true. Makes more sense.

        When I was young I remember kids throwing Milk Duds at the screen when the bad guys came on screen.

        Can you imagine what people would throw at the screen when Les comes on? Tomatoes? Eggs? Garbage? Molotov cocktails? Hand grenades? Themselves?

      • Charles

        I’m saddened that Batiuk didn’t show the convention of showing a clip of the actress performing in the film itself when her name was announced. I’d love to see what Batiuk felt would be worthy of that moment.

        “Summer’s at her grandma’s, big boy…. Looks like we’ve got the place to ourselves.”
        “If I didn’t know better… I’d say you were trying to take advantage of me.”
        “Actually, to be more precise, I’m trying to get you to take advantage of me. Once the chemo starts, this playground will be closed for repairs.”

        AUTEUR! AUTEUR! GENIUS!

        It would be hilarious just for the juxtaposition between what Batiuk thinks of the line and what everybody else would think of that line.

        And I’m loath to excise the next line, but it totally would be in this circumstance:

        “Hmm, who can resist a siren song like that?” (How the fuck is this not sarcasm?)

        BTW, whatever happened to Summer’s grandma? Lisa’s mom didn’t reconcile until she was on her deathbed, and Les’s mom never showed up. Nevermind that she was never shown at any other point in the strip, be it at their wedding, babysitting or helping Les heroically cope with being a single parent.

  19. You just know Les is going to win the Oscar and then the Pulitzer before this strip ends. Either that or we’re going to get several walls of text about how awards sully the purity of Les’s art.