So today we get the strip that probably should have run Monday. The good news is that in today’s strip, Batty’s setting up an actual joke. The kitchen reno drags on with no end in sight (and remember: this all started out with a quote on a bathroom renovation and turned into a package deal; we don’t know if they’ve even started the bathroom). Funky dimly recalls that Rachel’s “studying to be a lawyer” and, in classic Funkman form, sees an opportunity to cadge some free legal advice. Funky doesn’t understand how adoption works? Isn’t his son Cory (like most other Westview millennials) an adoptee?
Tag Archives: lawyers
Match Game
This ICE supervisor has got to be quaking in his Johnston & Murphy’s, Amicus Breef is finally breaking out the lawyering talk in today’s strip! And he’s doing it with righteous indignation too! What a lawyer this guy, keeping supervisor Ed O’Neill off of his Facebook feed for 4… maybe even 5 minutes by threatening to do something that would have been more useful had he done it before he showed up at the detention facility.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Ha-ICE-ku
Surely there is more This is all of today's strip? Missing third panel?
We already know Identity mistake stuff And so does Wally
Oh it's "possible"? Truly a legal savant is Amicus Breef
A word of warning ICE will not hesitate to deport falling leaves
Adeela's right, though This whole story arc is a Horrible mistake
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
A Breef Encounter
What’s better than four white saviors? Five white saviors of course! That’s the gist of today’s strip, it seems… as *groan* Amicus Breef emerges from the walk-in freezer brimming with fantastic legal advice such as talking to Adeela. Preferably by phone, no need to go down to the clink and talk to her in person if you can help it, right? I mean, jails are full of criminals after all and you can’t be too careful.
Oy! Amicus Breef?! Amicus? Stupid punny names are nothing new for this strip, but they usually at least involve a first name human beings might actually have. Well, at least he works in a profession relevant to his stupid punny name. What if Mason Jarr(e) was really into making homemade preserves or holding iced tea at restaurants known for their cucumber salad, or if Cliff Anger was actually a solo climber? Or what if Ruby Lith’s job was to illustrate schlocky no-budget Silver Age comic books? Oh wait…
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Bald Legal
Who is this guy and why is he wearing Pete’s green shirt?
I don’t know why Chester is in such a hurry to get “the lawyers downstairs ” involved. Ruby’s going to draw Miss American and get paid by Chester for doing so; why must she own the rights as well? Will Chester then have to pay Ruby for the rights to publish her work? Readers of the FW blog know very well how Batiuk relies on his legal team, so maybe in that context, this makes sense.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
When Time Stands Still
Is this today’s strip or the October 26 strip?! No, it is today’s… and it leaves us in the exact same place we were in October. THE. EXACT. SAME. PLACE.
Masone promises a “shopping agreement”, explains that he has to sell Lisa’s Story to some powers-that-be, assures him of his good intentions and that he is making the right decision by letting Masone pursue this stupid movie thing, Les prepares to wait for the shopping agreement in a snit… scene. It’s the exact same thing we got in October with two exceptions:
One, this week of Masone-wants-to-make-a-Lisa’s-Story-movie strips was preceded by a week of Les and Cayla arguing about whether or not they should fly to California to discuss with Masone the fact that he wants to make a Lisa’s Story movie. We wasted this week on repeating the October scenario PLUS the week of Les and Cayla debating whether to take the stupid trip… the trip that could have been resolved with a 15-minute telephone call!!!
Two, this week ends with the unfortunate promise of future strips in which Les takes Masone around New York for some unbearable Lisa reminiscence, undoubtedly griping all the way.
Misery. Sheer misery.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Wake Me Wendy War is Over
For once, I can at least give you all a preview of today’s strip, gleaned from the “Pipeline” of Batiuk’s blog. Just picture this illustration colored in…hell, color it in yourself, it might land you a new career! Picture the “Funky Winkerbean” header at the top, with Ruby’s or Mindy’s smug, disembodied head alongside the logo. Superimpose “Wayback Wendy” in huge, distorted digital type, across the top of the cover, and don’t forget the Atomik Komix “fallout shelter” in the upper left. At the bottom, throw in a single, round panel showing Mindy and Ruby congratulating each other on the success of their brilliant joint production. Lastly, give a “tip of the Funky Felt Tip” to the artist (not a woman) who contributed the artwork.
Update: Yeah, so I was wrong…rather than a sideway Sunday comix cover, only a portion of the artwork above is used. Unless Batiuk “disappears” Ruby, now that she’s served her purpose, maybe down the road it’ll get the full Atomik Komix treatment. –TFH
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Perfectly Stupid
Buckeye Feculence
September 6, 2019 at 8:55 am
Yes, there has been a noticeable U-turn in the Funkyverse of late. Previously people’s efforts seemed mostly to end up in failure and disappointment. Now characters seem to succeed without much effort, experience, or training.
(A “perfect” summary of This Week in Funky Winkerbean:)
An so, in that way that things have of just working themselves out in the Funkiverse, Ruby Lith returns to comics (or are comics returning to her?), and Mindy adds de facto writer to her resume, right below de facto colorist.
And now there’s no bathroom in the Atomik office? But Jessica recently complained that the bathroom there were never clean. Rather than call out TB for another lapse, let’s suppose that there is a bathroom in the office; Pete just doesn’t want to have to share it with this old crone.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Son of Stuck Funky 
It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is
While most of the now-reassembled idiocy of Winkerbeans mopes at a Pete-level in today’s strip, Holly is taking charge! How, exactly, she expects a photo of Act II Funky with the mayor of Centerville to help Adeela remains to be seen…
Before we get into the explanation for this bit of Batiukverse history, let’s take a minute to appreciate the magnificent uselessness of Amicus Breef, who today is repeating the exact same legal vernacular he spit out two days ago… like a 14 year old who just learned the phrase “subpoena evidence” and keeps saying it because he thinks it makes him sound smart. It has been some time since TB introduced such a remarkably incompetent character, which is saying something.
OK, now for the tale of the time Funky and his mullet met President Bill Clinton. It was the summer of 1993 and the Westview school district was facing its latest challenge in getting voters to approve yet another school levy (or “tax issue” as Fred and Nate referred to this one). Dinkle decided the best way to drum up support was to get the recently elected President Clinton to appear at a rally headlined by his WHS band. Being a well-known former band geek, the President actually showed up, endured the band’s performance, and finished things off by playing a saxophone duet with Dinkle. On his way out of town, President Clinton demanded pizza and Dinkle recommended Montoni’s. Thus:
Dinkle also gave the President a gift for showing up at the rally… *sigh* It was a box of comic books, of course.
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Tagged as Act II, Adeela, Amicus Breef, An idiocy of Winkerbeans, Classic Funky, coffee, deportation, enraging hair strands, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, green pitcher, half-assed political commentary, Holly, immigration, Iraquistan, lawyers, Montoni's, Montoni's logo, Montoni's T shirt, multiple Montoni's logos, not how the world works, not how to offer coffee, Now Funky, President Clinton, Rachel, really dumb questions, sad-sackery, sheer idiocy, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, this is all a horrible mistake, tiny hands, Wally