Does today’s strip really take place right after yesterday’s? Amicus and Wally left the box office window presumably just a few minutes prior to go bother the supervisor and in that short time Adeela has already been put on the 3:45 AM flight to Baghdad? I see nothing that really indicates otherwise except for Adeela’s speedy departure, so I guess we’re still in the middle of the night of Adeela’s arrest.
I suppose this was inevitable, though. Westview has seen several immigrant refugees move to town over the years, and none have wound up ultimately staying. Let’s look at their fates:
Lu Lin and Zhang Li – escaped detention in communist China for their role in student pro-democracy protests and opened The Jade Dragon, a Chinese restaurant, next to Montoni’s:
Kahn (or is it Khan?) – immigrated from war-torn Afghanistan, founded a deli, and even became a US citizen (despite having been a known Taliban-affiliated arms dealer):
Rana – orphaned by a roadside bomb in Afghanistan and the adopted by Wally and Lefty and raised in Westview by Lefty and DSH:
This ICE supervisor has got to be quaking in his Johnston & Murphy’s, Amicus Breef is finally breaking out the lawyering talk in today’s strip! And he’s doing it with righteous indignation too! What a lawyer this guy, keeping supervisor Ed O’Neill off of his Facebook feed for 4… maybe even 5 minutes by threatening to do something that would have been more useful had he done it before he showed up at the detention facility.
Funky is by far the Most Powerful Man In Westview…a pizza kingpin AND chairman of the local chamber of commerce…so if anyone can get ol’ Adeela out of this pickle, surely he can. Guffaw. And getting that busybody Holly involved guarantees she’ll play some vital role in all of this. Maybe next week he could get Morty and Funky’s mother-in-law involved too. Weren’t they a thing a few years back?
I’ve just about had it with Adeela, Wally, Rachel and the whole damn lot of them so it’s time to turn this plodding exercise in time-killing over to our resident Funkstorian, billytheskink, who’ll be steering you through both the jailhouse visit AND the week where they all talk about the jailhouse visit. This one is even worse than the tornado siren arc and it might even turn out to be longer, which just boggles the mind.
The ICE agent snacking on the pizza represents the cold soulless hand of an unfeeling bureaucracy and so forth. Sigh. Obviously Adeela needs to get in touch with The Gang in order to straighten this unfortunate kerfuffle out, but her phone is bricked, so I dunno. It’d be way funnier if they really did ship her off to Iraq on the 8:15 out of Columbus but I seriously doubt she’s going anywhere except (sigh) back to Montoni’s, where she’ll make some sort of weakly wry quip about how she’s still better off in Westview.
Computers…can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em. The “facial recognition software” at the supermarket (!) targeted poor, poor Adeela, who apparently looks JUST LIKE the OTHER Adeela in Westview and yadda yadda yadda “we’re just doing our jobs as dispassionately as possible” and so forth. So it’s off to the Westview House Of Detention, which I imagine looks just like the Mayberry jail, only with comic books and pizza. Crappy comic books and cold pizza, natch.
“Mommy? Why is Funky so sad? And why is he dressed like that?”. The ol’ mistaken identity gag, of course. They all look alike to those mean mustachioed ICE agents, amirite? Man alive, this thing is a f*cking trudge, yet another strip where all relevant information could have fit in one panel thus moving the story three times faster. Which would still be achingly slow, mind you, but three times faster is three times faster.
The thing finally happened, on a Sunday no less, which of course means it’ll happen again tomorrow. Perhaps they could deport Adeela to a city in dire need of architects, as the idea that this self-made immigrant is somehow supporting herself by being fifth in command at a failing local pizzeria gets dumber every time I ponder it, which is rarely.
I think the arc should just end right here. Adeela just disappears and is never heard from or mentioned by name again. Then in a few years Wally could do something stupid and quote her out of context with that annoying snide-yet-dunderheaded look on his dumb face.
“My old Muslim friend whose name escapes me always used to say that mozzarella is the saffron of the common folk.”
“Wow, your Muslim friend must have really been quite a character!”
“She was, Rachel, she was!”
I mean who would even care? Maybe forty people in the world even know who the hell Adeela is and if you were to poll those forty people and ask them they would unanimously not give a shit. She’d be like the Russian in “The Sopranos” or Becky’s mom, an enduring mystery for die-hard fans (chortle) to forever ponder.
And today the pace hits absolute zero. Something HAS to “happen” now, as we’re at peak entropy (Batiuktropy). The laws of comic strip physics simply will not allow BatTrudge to drag this scenario out any further.
Coming tomorrow: a rare Sunday single panel strip featuring an Adeela silhouette saying “hello?”.
Tuesday: “Hmmm. There doesn’t seem to be anyone here. It’s dark and scary. I will proceed further.”
It’s like that scene in “Goodfellas” near the end where Jimmy tries to lure Karen into a shady storefront under the pretense of giving her boosted clothes so he can presumably kill her. Only way dumber and with terrible dialog. And pizza. I mean didn’t Adeela grow up in the most dangerous country in the world? Surely she’s not dumb enough to fall for THIS old gag…is she?
And why do the cops need to set up this elaborate ruse to ensnare Adeela in the first place? Couldn’t they have just raided Montoni’s, busted the place up, tased her and dragged her away? I mean look at her, she’s pretty much a female Funky in a hijab, it’s not like she’s going to run away or get very far if she does. But here they are, setting up a whole pizza sting operation, complete with tails and fake storefronts. What was the plan if Cory or Our Other Delivery Guy showed up? The plot holes are more like gaping plot maws now, creating their own inexorable story-sucking gravity and swallowing all common sense and plausibility.