37 responses to “ICE, where’s my car?!

  1. Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet

    What could have been: ICE determines that Tony Montoni is an undocumented immigrant and mistakenly arrest and deport Funky.

  2. William Thompson

    “Yeah, we’re here for more of that great pizza, like the one we stole while mistakenly arresting an innocent woman. But we were only following orders! No hard feelings, eh? And if you give us a special 100% discount, we may return your delivery car!”

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Awww. See? Those big heartless ICE meanies aren’t so bad after all. Just cogs in a faceless computer-controlled machine is all. Deep down they’re just regular schmoes who like a mediocre pizza just like the rest of us. And everyone lives wryly ever after.

    And he resolved the pizza bag kerfuffle too! There’s a loose end you never thought you’d see resolved, eh? This BatHam guy is just full of all sorts of twists and surprises. Too bad they’re all so dumb and boring, you know?

  4. TryingTires

    Just arrest Funky and let us end the week on a high note

    • The Nelson Puppet


      • Rusty Shackleford

        Heck, shoot them all…they are all terrible characters.

        • The Nelson Puppet

          “They would have been good people,” The Misfit said, “if it had been somebody there to shoot them every minute of their life.”

          -Flannery O’Connor, who knew how to write a galvanizing story.

  5. I still haven’t forgiven TB for his idiotic, wrong-headed and totally stupid put-down of 1933’s “King Kong” movie. And here he is, as always, basking in his inability to tell a story, or even keep the details straight.

    Seriously, what’s the point of all of this? It’s to get him to a 50-year anniversary award, and there is no other point to it at all.

    Tom Batiuk, I know you cannot feel shame…but you should. A lot.

  6. Gerard Plourde

    So this entire week has revolved around plugging Montoni’s pizza. Signs, logos, a celebrity endorsement, and now a testimonial from hard-working law enforcement. Adeela’s arrest was a true MacGuffin, the triggering event totally irrelevant to the extended Montoni’s commercial.

  7. louder

    Honest reaction on reading this stinking pile of crap: BatHack is FREAKIN’ SICK to make light of the real immigration and ICE problems in this country in such a cavalier manner. It’s a disgrace to comic writers, living and dead.

    • LTPFTR

      And I’m sure in his head he’s rounding the bases, convinced that this is an absolute home run. I forget how many “fucks” is used in my comment on yesterday’s strip, but clearly it wasn’t enough.

  8. J.J. O'Malley

    Don’t get your insulated bag in a twist, Funky! That’s not Immigration and Customs Enforcement walking through your front door. This ICE is Interstrip Comics Exchange, and they’re just checking on the unapproved panel one confab that appears to be between yourself, “Luann,” Susan from “Between Friends,” “Snuffy Smith’s” wife Loweezy, “Dennis the Menace’s” father, and the daddy from “Daddy Daze.”

    “If you’re here to arrest someone, I’m going have to see…what other photo on the wall is a ’90s celebrity I can call for help. Let’s see…Dr. Ruth, Morton Downey, Jr., Kato Kaelin, Tonya Harding…”

    Okay, so the Prodigal Bag (the insulated one, not Adeela) has returned. Now, when will DHS pay for the pizza they ordered under false pretenses? After all, that order and the one Clinton made appear to be the only business Montoni’s had throughout this storyline.

    Looking forward to the return of something concerning “Dead St. Lisa’s Story: The Movie” tomorrow.

  9. Banana Jr. 6000

    This is like a Jack Chick tract, if Montoni’s Pizza were a religion.

    • comicbookharriet

      This quote needs to be incorporated into the banner of this site.

    • billytheskink

      Even Jack Chick wouldn’t have given me an opportunity to use the “the back of Rachel’s head for some reason” tag twice in four panels.

    • William Thompson

      These ICE goons may have given everyone the Nacht und Nebel experience, but, hey, all is forgiven when they worship at the altar of Montoni’s pizza! Funky suddenly smiles like he’s saved their souls from the paganisms of Little Caesar’s!

  10. The thing is, even if his handful of fans get all worked up by this and decide they’re gonna get themselves some quality pizza, they’re going to be looking for a “Montoni’s” restaurant which DOES NOT EXIST in the real world.

    How does his constant shouting of “Montoni’s” help the real restaurant? Which I think is called Lousy’s? Or Worst’s? Or Neil Breen’s Pizza Apocalypse? Something?

    Damn, Batiuk is not just a hack, he’s a really terrible version of hack.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      I have two theories:

      1. Enough people around Akron know that Montoni’s Pizza is really Luigi’s, so it is effectively an advertisement for Luigi’s.

      2. The societal importance of the small town pizza restaurant is part of Tom Batiuk’s weird value system. Just like the proper way to appreciate comic books, and how to protect your long-dead wife from people who do not supplicate themselves to her thoroughly enough when you walk by.

      • William Thompson

        Montoni’s is like the malt shop in a Fifties movie/comic-strip, except Batiuk realizes that you never saw the parents and grandparents hang out where the kids did. So we’ve got Montoni’s, where the adults go to feed and socialize.

        • Banana Jr. 6000

          That’s a solid comparison. Especially when the characters are basically all overgrown teenagers with severe maturity problems. Oh no, something has happened, we all need to go to Montoni’s and talk about it while eating pizza.

  11. Banana Jr. 6000

    You can buy an insulated pizza box online for as little as $10.99. It’s literally worth less than a pizza. Just when you think the stakes of this story can’t get any lower.

  12. comicbookharriet

    A woman was nearly deported without a hearing, and was only saved by asking a permanently powerful oligarch of society to put his thumb on the broken scales of justice.

    But there’s really no bad guy here.

    • billytheskink

      No bad guy except for Amicus Breef, who is effectively a thief. Even providing his services during this arc pro bono is far too much compensation for such utter and complete uselessness.

  13. Barnaby Scones

    Charles Manson also went nuts over Montoni’s.

  14. Mr. A

    Haiku of the Day

    You want more pizza?
    First you’ll pay for what you stole.
    Cop, arrest thyself.

  15. Charles

    I really want Amicus to bill Wally for all the time he’s hung out at Montoni’s looking glum.

    I mean, your lawyer’s not your friend. Your doctor’s not your friend. Your accountant’s not your friend. There’s a reason they don’t hang out with you once you get done meeting with them.

  16. Rusty Shackleford

    Batty is a celebrity at Luigi’s Pizza in Akron. Hence the reason for all of the plugs. But if you go to Akron, don’t eat there, go up the street and stop at Lock 15 Brewing Company. Great food and beer, and the beer taps feature artwork by Chuck Ayers.


  17. Count of Tower Grove

    Oh my. Does this mean that we can look forward to yet another week of the consequences of getting a drivers license and feeling free, getting arrested, getting deported and undeported before the Fungymobile is returned?*
    * indicates possibly a rhetorical question, but nonetheless a question, not to be confused with uptalk.

  18. Banana Jr. 6000

    Tom Batiuk loves to portray his characters as big heroes when they’re in zero actual danger. Like when Les Moore confronted that unknown car that was following him, which conveniently turned out to be Mason Jarre doing “character research.” Now here’s Funky bravely confronting ICE agents who just want a pizza.

    News flash, Funky: if they’re here to arrest your employee for overstaying a visa, you don’t have the right to demand jack shit. And since you’re employing illegal aliens in their eyes, you might want to get off your high horse.

  19. Banana Jr. 6000

    Which is another problem with this story: there’s absolutely nothing to stop ICE from arresting Adeela again. This solution didn’t address the misidentification. They just pulled rank to get her released regardless of that.

    • Mr. A

      Alternative interpretation: somewhere in Ohio, Other-Adeela goes to bed every night worrying about what will happen when ICE catches up to her. If only she knew that a phone call from an ex-president put her on the secret “Do Not Deport, Ever” list…but she never will, because it’s secret.

  20. LTPFTR

    I didn’t think I had any fucks left to give after yesterday’s bit of crapulence, but today I am moved to say fuck fucking Tom fucking Batiuk fucking right in his fucking right fucking ear. Fuck.

    • William Thompson

      And keep it up until it squirts out his left ear, which is a real possibility because there’s nothing between his ears to block it.

  21. Mr. A

    I just noticed that the ICE agent said “the other night” in this strip. This means that Funky, Mrs. Funky, Wally, Rachel, and special guest Amicus Breef were sitting in Montoni’s moping for a solid 24 hours.