Tag Archives: 1/4 inch from reality

by billytheskink | October 24, 2020 · 10:30 pm

ICE, where’s my car?!

Today’s strip marks one week since we’ve heard so much as a peep from Amicus Breef, and yet he is still there like he did anything at all to help Adeela or anyone else. He doesn’t even get to bluster to the ICE agent, Funky fills that role today. Things ICE should have to show if they are going to arrest Adeela should be Amicus’ wheelhouse, not Funky’s. And yet, ICE backs off at Funky’s incomplete demand (seriously, what was he demanding to see?) while they never wavered when confronted by Amicus, making Funky a far far better immigration lawyer than Amicus, who is literally an immigration lawyer.

Son of a gun, TB remembered the insulated bag! Before we praise him too much for this, it should be pointed out that the insulated bag officially spent more time in ICE custody than Adeela.

Also, Funky still hasn’t gotten his delivery car back.

37 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as 1/4 inch from reality, Adeela, Amicus Breef, An idiocy of Winkerbeans, Band Box, complete lack of humor, enraging hair strands, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, Funkys, half-assed political commentary, hatchet face, Holly, how things are NEVER done, ICE agents, immigration, indignancy, insulated bag, Montoni's, Montoni's logo, not how the world works, Now Funky, pizza, pizza delivery, police, Rachel, sheer idiocy, smirk, stupid, the back of Rachel's head for some reason, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, the rare Montoni's customer, the rare Montoni's's customer, this is all a horrible mistake, tiny hands, unnatural hand gestures, Wally

by billytheskink | October 21, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Getting the runaround

Did you know President Bill Clinton likes to jog? I sure didn’t, at least not until today’s strip… and when I say “today’s strip”, I mean “when he was first elected President”. Does TB think calling him “President Clinton” is not enough of an identifier for readers or did he just recently start watching a DVD box set of 1990s Saturday Night Live episodes?

What’s with all the Eeyores in the first panel? Funky just dialed up BILL CLINTON on a whim, got the former POTUS to answer directly, and was told by the man himself that he would help. Why is Rachel even questioning this?

Better yet, why am I questioning this? Any of this? It’s been a fool’s errand for decades.

48 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as 1/4 inch from reality, Adeela, Amicus Breef, An idiocy of Winkerbeans, cell phones, cellphone, delusional fantasies, deportation, enraging hair strands, exercise, Falling leaves, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, half-assed political commentary, Holly, hoodie, how things are NEVER done, immigration, leaves, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, melting faces, mistaken identity, Montoni's, Montoni's logo, Montoni's T shirt, not how the world works, Now Funky, President Clinton, Rachel, sad-sackery, sheer idiocy, stupid, tags you never thought you'd use, technology, terrible artwork, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, this is all a horrible mistake, Wally, you have got to be f-ing kidding me

by billytheskink | October 20, 2020 · 10:30 pm

The Westview Pizza-ccord

This guy still doesn’t look anything like Bill Clinton, but at least he’s game to help the gang in today’s strip, which means we’re probably closer to the end of this idiocy (and the start of a new idiocy). A President Clinton junk food joke? Really, TB? Did you write this in 1994 or when people stopped laughing at the thought of the President eating French fries (which was 1995, I believe)?

34 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as 1/4 inch from reality, Amicus Breef, An idiocy of Winkerbeans, awful dialog, cardiac issues, cell phones, cellphone, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, half-assed political commentary, hatchet face, Holly, Now Funky, pizza, pizza delivery, poor female characters, President Clinton, Rachel, sheer idiocy, smirk, stupid, telephone transactions, terrible artwork, tiny hands, Wally, you have got to be f-ing kidding me

by billytheskink | October 19, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Hey I once met you, and this is crazy… but here’s my number, so call me, Funky.

Holly’s persistence pays off in today’s strip… or does it?

Yes, the 27 (or 37) year old phone number for President Clinton that Funky has still works, and his call has been received by a cell phone that recognizes Funky’s personal cell phone as Montoni’s! It must be the same brand as Wally’s magic Adeela-recognizing phone. But the man answering it, unfortunately, is not the former President.

Look, I dunno if this guy is Durwood 40 years in the future or maybe James Woods after a horrible accident involving a beaker or two of acid or the world’s most embarrassing caricature of the late Jerry Orbach or if Ayers just forgot what Flash Freeman looks like… but I do know he’s not Bill Clinton.

55 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as 1/4 inch from reality, Amicus Breef, An idiocy of Winkerbeans, cell phones, cellphone, enraging hair strands, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, half-assed political commentary, Holly, how things are NEVER done, huge hands, Montoni's, not how the world works, Now Funky, Ohio, President Clinton, Rachel, sheer idiocy, stupid, tags you never thought you'd use, technology, telephone transactions, terrible artwork, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, unneccessarily long arcs, Wally, you have got to be f-ing kidding me

by Epicus Doomus | June 14, 2020 · 10:30 pm

Chemical Snore Fare

Link To The Latest Breaking Lisa News

Awww, how adorable. Cindy will graciously refrain from being a psychotic, jealous, sexually-threatened shrew while her husband does his job. How very thoughtful of her. Why she needs to be involved in the cancer movie is another question entirely, but that’s just how things work in the Funkyverse. By the time this is over Pete will be “head writer”, Boy Lisa will be “storyboarding” it and Funky will be running craft services, from Ohio, via Skype.

You don’t normally see a lot of cleavage in the strip. Not that I’m demanding more, mind you, in fact quite the opposite is true. But, for reasons only known to him and probably best left unexplored, he had to make sure to remind readers that Cindy is still hot, just in case we somehow missed every Cindy arc since her ignominious Act III return. The characters in this strip “grow” more slowly than stalagmites.

In case you’re counting, “Cindy is jealous over Mason’s co-star” is the sixth old arc he’s mentioned over the last four weeks. It’s officially a trend now and not just a weird FW anomaly. Someone’s wallowing in nostalgia again, why is anyone’s guess. It seems that having an excuse to use Lisa again sort of jump-started his interest a little, which had been noticeably waning over the last, uh, five years or so. Sigh.

34 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

Tagged as 1/4 inch from reality, Cindy, cleavage, Hollywood, Lisa's Story, Mason, movie lingo

Tag Archives: 1/4 inch from reality

ICE, where’s my car?!

Getting the runaround

The Westview Pizza-ccord

Hey I once met you, and this is crazy… but here’s my number, so call me, Funky.

Chemical Snore Fare

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