Look, the man himself Deigns to appear on panel Here in today's strip Why is he worried No one is coming to see Him in uniform No one is coming To see Holly twirl either But whatever y'all This Harry Dinkle, He sounds like a real jerk This guy here, real jerk With his history Of abusing band members Why would alums play But of course these two Still have their band uniforms No one leaves high school
Tag Archives: cell phones
Healing fact-or fiction?
Oh sweet Sousa, it’s HIM! I guess we all knew his appearance was inevitable after Holly brought up band alumni yesterday, but I think we were all hoping he wouldn’t show up as soon as today’s strip. But now he is involved AND he is tossing around comic book/video game terminology like he‘s DSH or the other guy in this strip named Harry, making this story arc go from insufferably bland to straight up insufferable in three panels flat. And now we know Holly wasn’t the only majorette he routinely maimed…
Holly really shouldn’t be surprised he remembers her, though. After all, he named his shoe brand’s majorette marching boots after her. I guess that means he is being sincere then telling her she was the best majorette he ever had, though I’ll also bet he‘s been keeping her royalty checks from the sale of those boots for the past 29 years too.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Crazed.
You know what?
No.
I spent an entire week working really hard to transmit my enthusiasm for how wonderfully dumb the Phil Holt resurrection arc was; and THIS is how I’ve been rewarded.
With HIM.
Well, jokes on HIM.
I refuse.
For the rest of my shift, I’m going to be lazy. And for the rest of my shift, I will not mention a thing about HIM. It’s what he wants. Attention. And I refuse to give it. The rest of you feel free to savage at will in the comments, as is deserved. For once, I can’t stomach the rightfully earned dismemberment.
So what I’ll say about today is that I really like the porch swing in this strip. I like how it shows up off and on as a gathering place. It gives the strip visual continuity that rewards long time readers, but as far as I remember it doesn’t have the same verbal attention drawn to it by the characters as other locations like Montoni’s. It’s 100% better than that stupid bench that gets talked about all the time by…
Whoah.
That was close.
Cutting it short today so I don’t mess up again. Until tomorrow folks.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Patience Zero
Today’s strip is filler. Total filler. In fact, it is possibly the filleriest filler that ever filled four panel borders. Filler filler filler filler…
The idiocy of Winkerbeans here is wearing the same clothes they were back before Wally and Amicus visited Adeela in jail, so it is presumably the same night/day that Adeela was arrested and President Clinton was called. Why are they all so resigned? Just how quickly do these people think Federal agencies work? And they expect a call back from Mr. Clinton himself, assuming failure when that doesn’t happen within an hour? Between yesterday’s strip and this one, there is probably a long list of right-leaning organizations that have more trust in the Clintons than these five.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
The Westview Pizza-ccord
This guy still doesn’t look anything like Bill Clinton, but at least he’s game to help the gang in today’s strip, which means we’re probably closer to the end of this idiocy (and the start of a new idiocy). A President Clinton junk food joke? Really, TB? Did you write this in 1994 or when people stopped laughing at the thought of the President eating French fries (which was 1995, I believe)?
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Hey I once met you, and this is crazy… but here’s my number, so call me, Funky.
Holly’s persistence pays off in today’s strip… or does it?
Yes, the 27 (or 37) year old phone number for President Clinton that Funky has still works, and his call has been received by a cell phone that recognizes Funky’s personal cell phone as Montoni’s! It must be the same brand as Wally’s magic Adeela-recognizing phone. But the man answering it, unfortunately, is not the former President.
Look, I dunno if this guy is Durwood 40 years in the future or maybe James Woods after a horrible accident involving a beaker or two of acid or the world’s most embarrassing caricature of the late Jerry Orbach or if Ayers just forgot what Flash Freeman looks like… but I do know he’s not Bill Clinton.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
A Breef Encounter
What’s better than four white saviors? Five white saviors of course! That’s the gist of today’s strip, it seems… as *groan* Amicus Breef emerges from the walk-in freezer brimming with fantastic legal advice such as talking to Adeela. Preferably by phone, no need to go down to the clink and talk to her in person if you can help it, right? I mean, jails are full of criminals after all and you can’t be too careful.
Oy! Amicus Breef?! Amicus? Stupid punny names are nothing new for this strip, but they usually at least involve a first name human beings might actually have. Well, at least he works in a profession relevant to his stupid punny name. What if Mason Jarr(e) was really into making homemade preserves or holding iced tea at restaurants known for their cucumber salad, or if Cliff Anger was actually a solo climber? Or what if Ruby Lith’s job was to illustrate schlocky no-budget Silver Age comic books? Oh wait…
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Development: Arrested
Looks like they were going to see some weird foreign film. Anyhow, today we see a desperate and frightened Adeela reach out to the only person who could possibly help…Wally. Yep, this should end well.
Why is Rachel smirking at Buddy like that? She’s a real odd duck, that one. And check out Buddy, it’s like he KNOWS there’s trouble. What a good boy.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
That’s The Bit
At first glance I was like “whoa, Wally’s cell phone vibration mode is so powerful it’s torn completely through his suit jacket!”, but then I quickly realized it was just crappy art. It’s nice to know that our beloved Buddy still exists, as he hasn’t been seen in a while, but as usual BatYap gives him absolutely nothing to do. Free Buddy!
So they decided to skip Montoni’s and go to that stinky old decrepit movie house instead? Or will they hit Montoni’s after? I think we all know the answer to that question. I wonder what they were going to see before Adeela ruined Date Night again?
“Honey? “Doctor Obvious Versus The Time Gargoyles” is playing at The Valentine tonight! It’s a sci-fi musical from 1947 starring Wallace Beery! Can we go? Can we? Huh?”
“(Sigh) I guess.”
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Getting the runaround
Did you know President Bill Clinton likes to jog? I sure didn’t, at least not until today’s strip… and when I say “today’s strip”, I mean “when he was first elected President”. Does TB think calling him “President Clinton” is not enough of an identifier for readers or did he just recently start watching a DVD box set of 1990s Saturday Night Live episodes?
What’s with all the Eeyores in the first panel? Funky just dialed up BILL CLINTON on a whim, got the former POTUS to answer directly, and was told by the man himself that he would help. Why is Rachel even questioning this?
Better yet, why am I questioning this? Any of this? It’s been a fool’s errand for decades.
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Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as 1/4 inch from reality, Adeela, Amicus Breef, An idiocy of Winkerbeans, cell phones, cellphone, delusional fantasies, deportation, enraging hair strands, exercise, Falling leaves, Funky, Funky Winkerbean, half-assed political commentary, Holly, hoodie, how things are NEVER done, immigration, leaves, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, melting faces, mistaken identity, Montoni's, Montoni's logo, Montoni's T shirt, not how the world works, Now Funky, President Clinton, Rachel, sad-sackery, sheer idiocy, stupid, tags you never thought you'd use, technology, terrible artwork, the raptor claw in Holly's hair, this is all a horrible mistake, Wally, you have got to be f-ing kidding me