by | October 20, 2020 · 10:30 pm

The Westview Pizza-ccord

This guy still doesn’t look anything like Bill Clinton, but at least he’s game to help the gang in today’s strip, which means we’re probably closer to the end of this idiocy (and the start of a new idiocy). A President Clinton junk food joke? Really, TB? Did you write this in 1994 or when people stopped laughing at the thought of the President eating French fries (which was 1995, I believe)?

34 Comments

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34 responses to “The Westview Pizza-ccord”

  1. Epicus Doomus
    October 20, 2020 at 10:32 pm

    Would anyone under 30-35 years old even get this gag? Who is this even for? Sometimes the joke is that Montoni’s food isn’t very good, then sometimes the food is incredible, so which one is it? WHAT AM I TO BELIEVE HERE???

  2. William Thompson
    October 20, 2020 at 10:32 pm

    “I’ll do for you what I did for those people in Rwanda!”

  3. Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet
    October 20, 2020 at 10:34 pm

    Missing Funky’s request and a background, even the creators are desperate for this story to be over.

  4. TryingTires
    October 20, 2020 at 10:38 pm

    Just when I think it couldn’t get anymore insane, Bathak manages to surprise me. Please tell me this ends with Rachel going into the bathroom to open the shower and have Wally say it’s just a dream.

  5. beckoningchasm
    October 20, 2020 at 10:39 pm

    This should be the dictionary definition of “pointless.”

  6. Barnaby Scones
    October 20, 2020 at 10:46 pm

    The plan is obvious. Bill’s going to play “Glow Worm” on his sax and Adeela will be free. Genius. Pulitzer.

  7. Jimmy
    October 20, 2020 at 10:52 pm

    Batiuk is at his most sanctimonious here.

    • Banana Jr. 6000
      October 21, 2020 at 11:03 am

      Sanctimonious, tasteless, and full of tacky product placement. How much of this arc has been about pizza? And it’s not even a real brand of pizza! Did Luigi’s Restaurant hire Batiuk to draw another placemat in exchange for mentions in Funky Winkerbean, like that stupid pizza box monster story? Or is this another one of Batiuk’s closed-minded opinions, where Montoni’s pizza is the only correct kind of pizza? In addition to all that, this story trivializes a serious social problem, and uses a real person as an unpaid, unwilling endorser of Batiuk’s ultra-narrow opinions.

    • hitorque
      October 21, 2020 at 5:29 pm

      I’m really starting to regret all the times I bashed him about those dumbassed geeky comic book worship storylines and all those excuses for Les to exhume Lisa’s corpse and make us all watch as he copulated with it… Because he evidently took my criticisms to heart.

  8. billytheskink
    October 20, 2020 at 10:53 pm

    Somehow the most unrealistic thing about this strip is that involves a New York resident requesting Montoni’s pizza.

  9. J.J. O'Malley
    October 20, 2020 at 11:11 pm

    Okay, so, as I was saying earlier…But WHERE are the delivery car and the insulated bag!?

  10. Gerard Plourde
    October 20, 2020 at 11:13 pm

    Since the only person with recent Administration experience is the former Secretary of State, I’m guessing that Bill will outsource the job to Hillary (although the time jump would still make this 2030).

    The admittedly insane Butter Brinkel/Zanzibar The Murder Chimp arc made more sense than this.

    • newpillowbook
      October 21, 2020 at 4:40 pm

      Okay, time to delurk for a minute…the insane and too-short Robots And Space Queen miniarc made more sense than this. I’d be happy to believe everything that’s happened since we last saw the rescue robots has been a smoke-induced hallucination. Especially this week’s idiocy.

      The robots, of course, are real.

  11. The Dreamer
    October 21, 2020 at 12:27 am

    He is not supposed to eat Pizza because Bill and Hillary are strict vegans now. Chelsea turned them vegan some years back

  12. Mr. A
    October 21, 2020 at 12:33 am

    Haiku of the Day:

    See what I can do!
    Oops, turns out I can’t do squat.
    Where’s my pizza bribe?

  13. Banana Jr. 6000
    October 21, 2020 at 2:03 am

    Peanuts had an obscure character named Loretta. She would show up in various places and say only one thing: “would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?” This story arc is like that. Every third panel says “Would you like to buy some Montoni’s pizza?”

  14. The Merry Pookster
    October 21, 2020 at 9:05 am

    Of course that “voice” in the background belongs to Monica.

  15. Maxine of Arc
    October 21, 2020 at 9:18 am

    billytheskink, at least we have your tags to get us through this.

  16. Bill
    October 21, 2020 at 9:30 am

    Even if this was written a year ago, there is no reason to believe that the current administration would do anything at the request of any Clinton. Zero, nada, nothing! Again reality is not a player in TB’s Westview.

  17. Ted
    October 21, 2020 at 9:40 am

    “Bill, you’re supposed to lay off the pizza. And I won in 2016, I won I tell ya. It was the Russians … believe me, the Ruskies I say.” All this as Bill calls the guys in the white coats to haul his crazed wife away. Hey, that’s as logical as this plot!

  18. TFHackett
    October 21, 2020 at 11:06 am

    I don’t think that Batiuk’s conception of the Clintons as Ozzie and Harriet would have played even when Bill was in office.

    • Epicus Doomus
      October 21, 2020 at 11:09 am

      Batty might very well vividly remember a slice of pizza he ate twenty-seven (or thirty-seven) years ago, but I’d wager that generally speaking the Clintons probably get out a little more than he does.

    • Banana Jr. 6000
      October 21, 2020 at 1:34 pm

      Like so much in Funky Winkerbean, it’s a problem of tone. Batiuk wants us to take this story with total seriousness, but he portrays the Clintons like a bad radio morning show skit in 1993 would. Oh look, Bill likes junk food and Hillary is a harridan who won’t let him have any fun. Yuk yuk.

  19. batgirl
    October 21, 2020 at 11:16 am

    But they won’t be able to send pizza, because ICE has impounded the delivery car and insulated bag!

    • Rusty Shackleford
      October 21, 2020 at 1:05 pm

      Did they? I wish we knew what really happened because it would be much more interesting than this story.

  20. J.J. O'Malley
    October 21, 2020 at 12:05 pm

    Tomorrow’s one-panel strip: the Clintons are sharing an airborne ICE detention cage with Adeela, with a label on the cage that reads “Priority Ship to Afghanistan: One Way.” “Well, Hil,” says Bill, “I guess I don’t have as much influence now as I thought I did!” “You HAD to get involved in exchange for free pizza from Ohio, didn’t you?,” says Hillary. For some reason, Adeela has a half-smirk on her face.

    • Westview Radiology
      October 21, 2020 at 9:33 pm

      All this anguish and hand wringing for Adeela? They should all pay as much attention to their own children or parents !

  21. William Thompson
    October 21, 2020 at 2:03 pm

    “And you thought Les the Waiter in the Dead Lisa movie was the dumbest cameo ever?” Batiuk smirks. “You can hand my beer back to me now!”