Tag Archives: green pitcher

Monday, April 20

Today’s “comic” strip was not available for preview.

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Sweaty Work

Ew, Cindy, get a towel! No one reading today’s strip saw you walk in from the rain so it looks like you’re sweating like a racehorse while heaving your chest and panting at Funky. It’s not a good look for you. It’s not a good look for anyone. And with Funky’s stupid answer that would have me back out the door and into the snowy–err, rainy generic Westview day.

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Jarr-med, I’m Sure

Hey SoSFers, billytheskink here for my second tour of duty. Please bear with my pointless observations and references that usually only I find amusing and continue your excellent snark and discussion in the comments.

So much, and yet, ultimately, so little is going on in today’s strip.

Let us start with the so little, for those whose memories were fried by the back-to-batiuk Dick Tracy and Crankshaft crossovers, this is the auspicious beginning of the interview with Mason that Les arranged for Cindy. Today they are introduced… and that’s it. Mason is remarkable cheerful bout meeting Cindy, considering that this interview basically is happening because of the silent threat that Cindy might reveal Mason’s presence in Westview on the Cleveland evening (Clevening?) news. Funky’s comment is perhaps supposed to give us the idea that Mason’s cheer has to do with Cindy’s looks, but considering that she does not move an inch between the panels I think it is just as likely that TB accidentally put a space between “in” and “action”.

On to the so much…
– This is probably the first time in 30 years that a man kissing a woman’s hand wearing a Members Only jacket has been called “charming”.
– I just now noticed that the Montoni’s man on Funky’s apron is really just a dismembered head and hands.
– Cindy is pulling off the difficult one-handed awkward turtle in panel 2.
– She is also remarkably calm having her hand so close to Mason’s face. Look at thing, you could cut a roast on it.
– The green pitcher is always a welcome sight amidst the general schmuckery that occurs at Montoni’s.

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Whole Lot Of Dumb

Link To Today’s Strip

So which premise is more unlikely? That Holly could somehow scrape together $50,001 to spend on comic books she didn’t even know about until earlier that same day or that the detective that cracked the case that eventually made the comic books available to be auctioned off in the first place would hang around for that auction AND hand-deliver the comics to the auction winner whom he doesn’t even know? If you answered “both”, congrats. I know I’ve been pounding on this theme all week but seriously, someone over there at Batom Inc. HQ really needs to tap TheAuthor on the shoulder and snap him out of this bizarre comic book fantasy reverie he’s in, as it’s getting out of hand. It’s almost as if depicting DT delivering boxes of comic books was his goal and he wrote the “story” around making that scene happen. And that’s just f*cking weird.

Coming next week: the long-rumored FW/For Better Or For Worse crossover finally begins. Over in the FBOFW-iverse, Funky hits Farley the dog with his car just as Michael opens his rejection letter from comic book writing school at the same moment his gay best friend’s grandfather dies at his sister’s shotgun wedding. Meanwhile, the Pattersons visit Westview and debate the merits of Silver Age vs. Golden Age comic books while eating pizza. Or, alternately, they eat comic books while reading pizza, as if there’s any difference anymore.

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The temptation of Les

In today’s strip, the green pitcher bears witness as Holly tempts Les to betray Mason Jarr the movie actor’s confidence. Cindy suffers yet another case of Westview face from oversmirking.

Call Dr. Tessier!
Call Dr. Tessier!
Weve seen this sort of thing before.
We’ve seen this sort of thing before.

Yup.

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Dead Skunk Shirt

Crikey, does DSH John own more than one shirt? I can almost smell him from my side of the screen in today’s strip.

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Bazoomba Class

SoSFDavidO here, limping through another blog post!

Riddle me this, Funksters! What took place these past for days that couldn’t have been done with ONE damn panel like the first panel in today’s strip?

I thought I liked comics. Now I’m not so sure any more. It’s like seeing a kid you can’t stand in school wearing a shirt with your favorite band on it. And that word, bazoombas. Somone hit me in the face with a frying pan, it’d be less painful than imagining Donna saying that.

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Ex-Men

SosfDavidO here, Guest Hosting for the week!

I actually won’t be able to get to today’s strip when it posts tonight but that’s not going to stop me from using this title in
today’s strip!

..and I’m back. I don’t even know what to say about today’s strip, it’s so mind-numbingly awful. There isn’t even a bad pun to call out. As someone pointed out, the idea that Donna just noticed the photo of her that’s been hanging up at Montoni’s since 1984 is ridiculous. What’s the point of this entire week? Girls like comics, and show their appreciation by cross-dressing as video game enthusiasts? My head asplodes.

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Monday, March 10th

Link To Today’s Strip

Greetings, folks, BChasm back for another round.  I found myself a bit startled when Epicus mentioned that I was next in line, and as the panic set in, I wondered if I could schedule some emergency surgery, or join the army, or something…but no, duty calls, and the Moon is a harsh mistress.

Today’s episode was not available for preview, so we can all speculate until the wondrous onset of midnight, when all will be revealed.  Will it be more of Cindy’s woeful career, or another quest for an issue of Starbuck Jones, or will both these recent plotlines be abandoned to bring us something else?  One thing you can say about Funky Winkerbean is that it’s really pretty unpredictable.

It’s just unpredictable in a really, really lame way.  What way beckons from the pallid rim of midnight?

Let’s find out together.

UPDATE:  And it looks like those who had Cory in the Dead Pool are about to get their payoff!  Maybe.  Whatever resolution this new arc will have, it will be better in the imagining than in the actual.

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You Just Kahn’t Win

Link to today’s strip

Huge news today, as in panel one we see that Funky has apparently hired some really strange looking kid (Wally Jr. perhaps?) to help out around…oh, wait. LOL, that’s just supposed to be Wally. My mistake.

I’m trying to recall a time when “things” WEREN’T “tough” in Olde Westview town…and I’m drawing a complete zero. It has nothing to do with “this economy” or the “times” in which we currently live. No, the reason every business in town struggles mightily to eke out a meager unfulfilled existence is because Westview is a remorselessly sucking black void, a vortex of failure, pain, human misery and soul-murdering realizations followed by weary, listless acceptance and total surrender to whatever dismal fate “the universe” happens to have in store for you next. A “successful” business in Westview would blow the entire FW paradigm to complete shit, as it would mean there IS a flicker of light and hope in that twisted hellscape and, as we know, that isn’t going to happen.

Well, it took him a while but Batom finally has his fictitious little town exactly where he wants it to be: devoid of any businesses other than a pizzeria and a comic book store. Utopia realized, not a deli or a grown-up (as opposed to “adult”) bookstore anywhere in sight. Perhaps they can find an oncologist willing to move into Khan’s old space, but I suppose that might just be too on the nose, even for TB.

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