Sunset Blowhard

HeyItsDave
April 15, 2016 at 7:51 am
Characters just seem to vanish without a trace in this arc. First Jessica disappears after the movie, and now Cindy and Mason seem to have ditched the Dorknamic Duo in Westview on their way back to California.

Jessica’s whereabouts are still unknown, but today Darin, Pete, and Funky are replaced by Mason and Cindy (or “MaCin” as they must be know in the tabloids) and Holly at Montoni’s counter. Mason the actor  bemoans how fickle Hollywood’s rejection can result in “the actor’s story” ending in obscurity and despair; probably not wise to bring this up with his fiance sitting right next to him.

Anyway it’s been a fun few weeks celebrating this blog’s sixth anniversary! Thanks to each and every one of you for reading and commenting and being such a wonderful online community. SoSFDavidO jumps into the driver’s seat tomorrow!

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33 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

33 responses to “Sunset Blowhard

  1. Gerard Plourde

    I guess bipolar Mason has flipped from his manic phase in which he rescued Cliff Anger from poverty and obscurity, offered him a cameo in the planned but apparently unscripted Starbuck Jones movie and a full year’s rent at New York rates to his depressive phase in which he thinks his future is inevitably as dire

  2. Rusty Shackleford

    Cindy looks old again, but not as old as Holly. Neat.

    And don’t Mason and Cindy have jobs? Just Fn around in Ohio for a week…

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Hey Mason, that isn’t Hollywood, it’s New Jersey. That’s some hilarious faux-profound dialog today…”the sun had already set on him”…sure it did Mason, sure it did. At the ripe old age of thirty “Hollywood” banished him forever and forced him to sit around for sixty years, watching the sun setting over Fort Lee every evening while wondering what might have been. Sounds to me like he needed a better agent.

    So what in God’s name is going on with Holly today? Suddenly she’s aged like twenty years and has a Barbara Bush matronly thing going on out of nowhere. And why did he feature an old WHS pic of Holly in the header?

  4. Carrie

    Damn, Holly looks like she’s 70 in this comic. It’s so tragic that used to be so full of life.

  5. Oh man. Fume-rage building. As a male actor, Mason doesn’t have too much to worry about. Hollywood will keep casting him in roles while his female love interest will remain firmly in the 25-30 year old range. Ian McClellan, Sean Connery, Christopher Lee, Samuel L Jackson, Wilfred Brimley, um Hollywood is *littered* with male actors that keep acting.

    Women, you’re either under 30 or you’re Guest At Party #6.

    And yeah, complaining about this next to your bride-to-be who got dumped as a newcaster for being “too old” isn’t the best idea, even though, of course, newscasting is one of those rare entertainment areas where age can actually help a woman.

  6. spacemanspiff85

    Hey Batiuk: you have had much, much more than one flop.

  7. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Ah, we’ve been waiting for this. The inevitable bellyaching about Evil Hollywood. At least “Hollywood” had the good sense to kick BatHack to the curb BEFORE getting involved with him.

    Tommy, thanks for the reminder of who this Cliff Hanger guy is. I had forgotten since yesterday.

    Gee, if only cartoonists were only a flop — or 15 years of really bad comics — away from being discarded. We’d be scheduling Batty’s retirement party by now. But he keeps cranking out dreck like this, year after year. Tommy must have pictures of the syndicate’s president with a goat.

  8. Maybe we’ll get lucky and this will end with Les or Mopey Pete floating facedown in Cliff Anger’s pool.

  9. HeyItsDave

    Empty jars always sound so deep.

  10. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Oh, and by the way, Cliff Hanger The Hollywood Movie Actor Who Was The Original Starbuck Jones But Now Lives In Lower Manhattan (CHTHMAWWTOSJBNLILM) can see Hollywood from his window? Wow.

  11. billytheskink

    Sounded like Holly was angling for an autographed glossy of Cliff for Montoni’s wall of “celebrity” diners before Mason made him sound too pathetic, even for Montoni’s.

    Ha, just kidding. No one is too pathetic for Montoni’s wall. I mean, Holly’s majorette photo is on it…

  12. I remember why Bill Shatner wound up in the center chair in Star Trek. They would have cast Jeffery Hunter but his wife was his agent. Rodenberry would rather have dealt with Nazis, a gorilla or Nazi gorillas than Mrs Hunter.

  13. paypahclip

    Hoo boy…
    in the vein of
    #BringBackOurGirls
    #MakeAmericaGreat
    #DefeatISIS,
    #HollyPleaseDumpCoffeeOnThisWhinyDouchebagsHead
    …is a hashtag screaming to be used.

    Normally, ingratitude is used as a character trait to be despised or overcome as the character grows in wisdom and/or maturity. But not in FW.

    Oh, hell’s bells, no.

    Here, ingratitude is not only NOT overcome, it’s not even supposed to be; it’s seen in the Funkyverse as admirable, dark platitude-filled “wisdom” where the glass is always half empty, and probably has fluoridated water, which causes global warming and cancer.

    And Pulitzers. Maybe.

  14. bayoustu

    Boy, I’d sure like a “cup a” that steel gray coffee Holly’s toting!

  15. sgtsaunders

    More evil Hollywood. I am beginning to think all this tedious Starbuck Jones noise is really a veiled attempt to make readers miss Les. It makes me miss something, but Les Moore ain’t it.

  16. Cue up the Stones: “What a drag it is getting old…” #ProfunditySunday for TB! What’s interesting is that if a stranger came upon this strip for the very first time, they might be moved by its wry, wistful, and, yes, deep tone. He’d utter a gentle sigh as he pondered the character’s interior lives, perhaps even shed a tiny tear upon realizing that the dumpy matron behind the counter was – gasp! – once a spry young drum majorette, her entire future spread out before her, brimming with possibility, aglow with potential… Only to be crushed by the cruel vicissitudes of time and fate. “What a drag it is getting old…” slowly rises in the background, then a chorus of strings comes in, and the camera pans in close upon her face, each age line keenly etched, as a memory montage begins to flash in amber lit tones… Oh man, I’m gonna throw up. I can’t read this tripe before breakfast, much less write it.

  17. Oh boy! What a freaking knee-slapper! But seriously folks, TF hit it out of the park with the title of today’s entry. This whole storyline is like the movie “Sunset Boulevard”–that is, if Billy Wilder had removed all the interesting parts from it.

  18. A HREF

    Who sits around a pizza joint drinking coffee?

    Oh right, breakfast pizza.

    See there’s your continuity right there.

  19. Rusty Shackleford

    Yeah, it’s like Montoni’s is open 24 hrs a day. And I never knew a pizza shop that had a breakfast counter in it.

    Batty must be really fun at parties, what with his nostalgia trips and all. Talking about obscure comic books..wow.

  20. So, since when is “living in a run down apartment (no doubt rent-controlled) in the Lower East Side” a bad thing? There’s ten million hipsters who would gladly trade places with him.

    And the way he’s drawn, Mr Anger looks to be slightly older than Crazy Harry, and in a lot better shape than Holly.

    On the bright side, it’s been another Les-free week. Keep up the good work, Tom!

  21. Mason: “Plus, Cliff’s arthritis makes aiming the gun at his temple really hard, with all the shaking.”

  22. What do you see when you look west through Montoni’s grimy window? I mean, apart from all your hopes and dreams dying? Looking out at Hoboken seems a sweet deal compared to Westview, which, for once, is aptly named.

  23. @Rusty Shackleford–Montoni’s DOES serve breakfast–at least it did a few years ago when Boy Lisa suggested to Funky that the restaurant should do so. But still, I have never seen a pizza parlor with a counter on it like Mel’s Diner.

  24. Rusty Shakleford

    Ah thanks for the reminder. I do remember the breakfast pizza.

  25. Jason

    Wow, this is quite the wrist slicer for such a sunny spring Sunday.

    And he completely forgot to mention Cliff’s raging alcoholism and endless anti-Semitic letters to Variety as causes for his banishment to the obscurity of the greatest city in western civilization.

  26. Professor Fate

    Is the Motto for FW if at first you don’t succeed just give up? These folk’s dreams die quicker than Mayflies – except for Les of course. Really its not like Cliff was an A list star – the lead in serial in the 50’s was pretty much a dead end by them – heck even in the glory days of the serials they were rarely a stepping stone to something else. So he made a movie and it wasn’t a hit. And he went home to NY and sulked? Holly wood had more than one studio and of course there was TV which needed an actor or two but no rejection by one is rejection by all.
    It’s the passive acceptance of defeat that makes this strip so bloody annoying.

  27. Hitorque

    So making *one* schlocky 50’s drive-in sci-fi flick entitled him to a lifetime of guaranteed employment and juicy roles?? Silly me, I thought talent (or at least World class looks) was what kept actors working?

    Anger never thought to try the stage, TV, going abroad, independent films, making his own movies, etc.??

    Should Mason really be talking that “one flop” bullshit? Especially since he’s never had a breakthrough hit yet in his career?

  28. Hitorque

    Did I miss something? Was Anger part of the Communist blacklist in Hollywood, and nobody bothered to tell him when the ban was rescinded?

  29. A week ago Hannibal’s Lectern posted that Les hadn’t bee seen in 30 (now 37) days. That’s all find and good, except that Mason has now replaced Les as the Author Avatar character. And like Les, I feel like beating the sh!t out of him.

  30. Hitorque

    For someone who is so smugly waxing poetic about “the life of an actor”, Mason does precious little of it… We’ve known Mason for 2-3 years, and so far the only work we’ve seen from him was Les’ movie about St. Lisa, which was aborted before filming began, and this Starbuck movie that has yet to shoot despite being 2+ years behind schedule…

    I mean FFS, even Les is (occasionally) shown trying to teach students something…

  31. Charles

    It’s funny how Batiuk decided to give this B.S. “one flop and your career is finished” line to a guy who was shown in the strip committing an act that really would be a career killer with no consequence whatsoever. Actors have flops all the time and come back without problems all the time . (Look at Batiuk’s favorite punching bag Adam Sandler, for Christ’s sake) Quit a production in the middle of it, when you’re under contract, with the production going under shortly thereafter will ensure that no one will ever hire you again.

    That said, it might be better for the character saying this line to not be some guy who has a private jet on 24-hour standby, who can and has been shown using it to fly all over the country for the most frivolous of reasons.

  32. bad wolf

    Ahh, getting back into that weird “killer shark issues and Elvis died on the toilet” rambling. At least he plays to his strengths here–bizarre depressing dialogue that no one else would ever dream up.

    Congratulations on the anniversary btw! This week i have been having intermittent problems logging on the site from Safari on my phone, but perhaps it’s just me.

  33. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    You know whats stupid about this? Buster Crabbe, the original Flash, became a strockbroker after serials waned. Not only that, he starred in commercials and became a advocate for arthritis research. He DID things after his career. And he is still remembered fondly as being Flash Gordon.

    Hollywood is not forever. Plan for what happens after.