Harley the Custodian to Summer: “What you write about sparks others to build on it to create a science of behavioral-patterned algorithms that will one day allow us to recognize humanity as our nation!”
…and to burn down all the bookstores, apparently. Except for the Village Booksmith, which likely was spared because Lillian operated it as a bootleg enterprise located above a garage, where it escaped the bookstore burners’ notice. And as many of you have noticed, the “Skylar Aero” solar scooter that has transported these two to “the Outskirts” is the weird looking, bulbous spaceship that Phil Holt sketched for Skyler, and that Skyler’s dad had fabricated from a murder weapon into a toy for his son:
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as birthday, books, bookstore, garage, John Byrne, poorly-drawn rocketships, snow, stairs, the future, the village booksmith, WTF
So John Byrne and his annoying angular faces are back for the homestretch, eh? Well, you can put lipstick on a pig and so forth, but yadda yadda yadda get the f*ck out of here with this shit. He came up with a strip-ending premise…”Summer writes a history of Westview”…and THIS is where he ends up, in some distant futuristic future full of “solar scooters” and young women in 1960s go-go attire. Everything that happened up to this point? Completely meaningless. This is the culmination of decades of furious Batiuksturbation, right here. Ugh, I just made myself sick. Continue reading →
Link Link Link
Look at that thing. They haven’t made cast iron toys like that since the fifties, so naturally Batiuk remembers them very fondly. It seems pretty clear that this thing is finally, mercifully over, but then again, as Joaquín Andújar once said, “youneverknow”. One day we’ll all look back on this and have a hearty laugh, and newer SoSF commenters will think we’re making it all up.
Yes, a heavy, pointy toy made of gun steel…this will surely end well.
“What’s this, dad?”
“It’s a spaceship forged from the steel from the gun used to MURDER YOUR GRANDPA!”
“WHEEEE! The spaceship is flying, daddy! It’s flying! It’s flying…OWWWWW! MY EYE!”
One day, sometime in the future, a new SoSF commenter will read a comment about the time Jessica had the gun used to kill her father (John Darling) melted down and cast into a toy rocket ship based on a Phil Holt sketch, and they’ll think “LOL yeah right, like THAT happened”. Like the time Les started climbing Kilimanjaro, stopped, came home, helped Funky name a car, then went back and finished the climb, AND rescued a wayward cat. Or the time he spent an entire week on squirrels. Truth is way stranger than fiction in the Funkyverse.
Link To The Strip In Question
Finally. It all makes perfect sense now! Boy Lisa is turning Phil Holt’s terrible spaceship drawing into a skeet target, which they will then shoot with Mitchell’s unwanted handgun. It was just so obvious all along. I’m quite frankly embarrassed and ashamed that we didn’t see this coming. Focus, people. Gotta start staying on freaking topic around here, dammit.
The biggest mystery? Why does Boy Lisa have modeling clay just lying around? He’s an illustrator/storyboarder, not a sculptor or a, uh, clay-molderer. Right now, I have to believe that SoSF commenter J.J. O’Malley might have been on to something yesterday, as this whole thing is veering off in a seriously queasy direction.