Tag Archives: Cindy

Crap Is On The Other Side Of This Door

I had no idea playing the lead in one (or is two now?) sci-fi movies opens enough doors for you where you can just create movies by yourself. And this is another in the long tradition of Batiuk using “witty” or “funny” sayings that really make no sense, apart from not being funny at all. The doors are already opened, Les. I don’t think it matters what’s on the other side.
Do you think that’s still Cindy there, or just a blonde wig on a stick? They’d both work about as well in their job of sitting quietly while the menfolk handle business, which is all Cindy has done since Les showed up.

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Finally, We’re Getting More Lisa

Well, this is really nice of Batiuk. Having killed off that dumb sporto Bull, he can get back to what his audience really wants-more Lisa. And not just Lisa, but Lisa’s Story, the most amazing and significant cultural product humanity has yet produced. And not just Lisa’s Story, but Lisa’s Story: The Movie, something that has never been portrayed in this strip before.  It’s definitely good he rushed through that whole Very Serious Topical and Prestigious Storyline About CTE for this.  I bet after doing Lisa’s Story 2.0 in the form of Bull’s death, Batiuk figured he might as well just go back to his favorite plot, yet again.
As horrible as this storyline is, I’m slightly excited that something might actually be happening in this strip. But realistically, what we’re probably going to get is lots of strips with one panel of Les sitting at this booth with Cindy and Mason, and two reprinted Lisa panels from 20 years ago. And speaking of horrible, does Les really just keep a pen in his shirt pocket in case people ask him for an autograph? Also, I find it extremely hard to believe he didn’t sign that copy before he gave it to Mason-“To my bent nail buddy-you’re an actor, so keep doing that acting thing!”. But then maybe Mason didn’t pay enough for an autographed copy.

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Fortunately Bull Died And Saved Us A Trip

This is pretty hilarious, especially by Funky Winkerbean standards. Cindy and Mason fly out to Ohio every other month, so the thought that these people hardly ever see each other is pretty funny. So is the fact that apparently whatever they had to talk to Les about they had to do in person. I can’t imagine a good reason for wanting to talk to Les, but I definitely wouldn’t want to do it in person. It’s also kind of funny how Les’s line makes it seem like they’re family. “Oh yes, it’s so sad that it takes funerals to reunite me with the hot girl from high school who never talked to me and her husband I once gave a bent nail to.”.

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I Can Think Of One Person Who Isn’t

This is Batiuk attempting witty sitcom style dialogue. And it is painful. “So what brings?” is not something a human would say. And the way Funky is poking into the second panel saying his little line reminds me of a cheesy sitcom character chiming in with his trademark catchphrase. Also, if you go to a pizza place and just order “the pizza”, I think it’s maybe not a great pizza place.
Why in the world anyone would want to meet Les is beyond me, although it does seem like the kind of thing you’d do after a funeral. “Oh, we spent the past hour or so thinking about death, I wonder what Les is up to?”  Bull’s dead and barely cold in the ground, so I guess that just means more time for Les.  Yippee.

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It’s Funny Because He’s Fat, Get It?

Link to today’s strip

What a great way to follow a big prestige serious storyline you bragged about, with a total waste of space. “Hi!” “Hi!” “You’re fat!” I guess coming up with a week of ways to show how dumb Bull was must’ve really taxed Batiuk’s talent.
This is one of my least favorite things about this strip (the list of things I’ve described that way would be very long). Literally all Funky does in this strip is work and work out, and yet he’s still fat. And people make fun of him for it. And since Bull’s dead, he’s this strip’s fattest, dumbest character, so he’d better watch out, I guess.

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Coffin Corner Kick-ed The Bucket

Fortunately, today’s strip stays in one time line. It also quotes one of Bob Dylan’s best-reviewed songs. Well, that’s two positives to the… end-ish? of this very maudlin special story arc. FYI: A donation has been made to the Boston University CTE center, presumably so readers will remember what this story arc was about last month.

So was Bull a member of the local Dylanist congregation or is that the only house of worship in Westview anymore? Both?

And with that, I am relieved… both to be done with my posting stint and, come tomorrow, by the incomparable Spacemanspiff85.

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Back Page News

Are you wondering how Bull’s wife and children are mourning his death? Maybe how his former players and fellow coaches, whose lives he surely had a large impact on, have reacted? Well, too bad for you, for the art of storytelling, and for general decency… because today’s strip is focused on four schmucks, only one of whom even knows Bull moderately well (and one who has NEVER once met the guy) and none of whom have talked to Bull in at least 3 full years. Heck, they aren’t even talking about Bull, they are awkwardly reminding us that Cindy was popular in high school.

Bull’s death only made page 2 of the Westview Gazette? This is a town with only five employers and Bull was the most decorated employee in the history of the largest of those. What could possibly have made the front page?

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